Beautiful Mistakes
by Shino87
Summary: Adalind Schade is a beautiful, successful lawyer who's struggling to get her daughter back after a nasty divorce. Nick Burkhardt is an excellent police detective who's just discovered his girlfriend cheated on him. Adalind and Nick hate each other because of past mistakes What happens when these two decide to make a truce for one night? AH/AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Back in College I had a friend who used to say that the best remedy to a break-up is a rebound relationship, while I never agreed with that, I guess this new fanfic is my rebound after my break up with Grimm last Friday (Well, we're just taking some time off until next season)**

 **Enjoy**

Chapter 01 : From bad to bed

« He lied about everything, the proofs were forged and he paid off the judges…You know darn well judge Bonapart's lust for money, it's not a big secret around here…Please, I can't go one more day without seeing her" I plead over the phone, my heart pounding hard against my chest, while I feel blood rushing to my ears. I feel like I was run over by a truck. Guess that's what happens when one compiles sleepless nights.

Kelly Burkhardt sighs heavily over the phone "Adalind, the Bureau is doing everything they can, but in the absence of concrete evidence, there's not much we can do. You know we've been trying to bring down Black Claw for years and you've brought us information that helped us track down some of its key members, unfortunately, your ex husband's record is as white as sheer paper"

I whistle a ragged breath, hardly stopping the tears that pour over my face "Alright" I manage to say in a broken voice "Let me know how it progresses"

"I'll do everything within my power to bring her back to you, Adalind" The FBI Agent promises me, but I try not to be too hopeful. The Bureau's main objective is dismantling BC, an international criminal organization, sort of a Mafia without Borders organization to which my ex husband belongs. He's in the top management of BC and although Federal authorities know he's involved in criminal activities, they've never been able to prove anything.

BC have connections in all the strategic places, all over the world. This is why Sean obtained full custody of our daughter Diana, without so much as sweating for it. He had his men bring some fake evidence that I have a mental health condition and that I'm on anti-depressants, which the judge didn't question, given how well his verdict was paid.

My heart contracts at the mere thought of my baby girl. I haven't seen her in more than two years. She's almost six now and not a day goes by without me crying over her. I burry my head in my hands before I burst into tears again. The agony caused by her absence is unbearable, I feel like I'm going insane with each passing day.

I don't know how long I've stayed like this, my head buried between my arms and resting on my desk, when a soft knock on the door has me perk my head in alert. A head pops in which I recognize as Harrison's once my vision adjusts to the darkness of my office. Harrison is my boss and a very nice man in his late sixties.

He saunters in, a compassionate expression on his face "Cynthia told me that your appeal against the court's decision has been rejected" he takes the seat across my desk "How are holding up, Kiddo?"

My eyes close briefly so that I summon the tears welling in them to stop "Like a mom who hasn't seen her daughter for a couple years" I sigh when I finally open my eyes again.

Harrison is looking apologetically at me "It's late, Adalind. You should go home and have some rest" he seems to reconsider what he has just said "Maybe take few days off, you haven't had a break in years"

I nod, only because I don't see the point in prolonging this conversation. He gives me a gentle hug after I collect my clutch and start toward the door "Have a goodnight, kiddo"

"You too, Harrison" I manage a smile

On the drive back home, I realize it's the last place I want to go to. I consider calling my mother, but I'm really not in the mood of an "I told you so" speech. I scroll through my contact list, looking for somebody I could confide in, but to my utter disbelief, I only have colleagues or work related acquaintances.

Adalind Schade has no friends

My whole life, I was this career oriented person, wanting to prove to her mother that she's the perfect child, probably seeking her attention and her love, by being this exemplar girl, which didn't leave me much time to make friends in the process.

A friend would come in handy when you're down, but I'm used to loneliness I guess. I make a U turn and head to Tony's, a pub that's not far from the office and a place of gathering for lawyers, DA office staff and detectives. It's the place where everybody shares stories about their respective jobs off the record then go back to being who they are the next morning. I went there few times with colleagues after work to celebrate victories etc, but I'm not a heavy drinker, especially on working days, however, tonight a drink sounds like the perfect cure to my aching heart.

As I hurry inside, I'm relieved to see it's practically empty, except for few customers sitting here and there. The bartender is in front of me as soon as I sit on the bar stool "What can I get you, gorgeous?" he leans his forearms on the counter and smiles flirtatiously at me, any other day, I would have appreciated the attention but right now, I'm really not in the mood.

"The strongest liquor you have" he raises a perfectly defined eyebrow, clearly surprised "And make it a double" I add

He shakes his head in amusement "Rough day?"

"The roughest" I deadpan

"Doubt it, the guy over there seems to have it way worse" I follow his gaze only to land on a way too familiar face. Nick Burkhardt, one of the best detectives in Portland Police. As much as I'm impressed with the amazing job he does, we're like the cat and the mouse. I don't know how all this animosity started between us, but…Alright, I know how it all started, but I really don't feel like rummaging in my bad memories box right now.

Anyways, I'd rather throw up and eat my own vomit than go talk to him…Yeah, that's gross, so why exactly are my legs moving in his direction? Well, don't ask me, sometimes my legs do have a mind of their own.

"Detective Burkhardt" I greet as I take the stool beside him

Beautiful green eyes turn my way, annoyance replaces quickly his initial surprise "Miss Schade" he glances at my glass "Scotch! I've always pictured you as the cosmopolitan type"

I tilt my head to the side as I say in an amused tone "You've been picturing me drinking?"

He glares at me, but I can't help the laughter bubbling in my mouth "So, what brings you here on a Monday night?" I ask just to make small talk, because I'm not the least interested. I just want to get wasted and hopefully the next time I open my eyes, we're already tomorrow…or next year, whatever helps forget about the pain.

I heard alcohol is a hell of a time machine

"Shitty day" he doesn't meet my eyes, clear indication that he doesn't want me to cross-examine him "You?" his eyes are glued to the drinks cabinet in front of us

"Same" I sigh

Our eyes meet again and I'm wondering which green are his, is it juniper green, pine green, basil green, maybe crocodile green…Nahh, it's somewhere between pear, pine and pickle…you know what, they're just Burkhardt green.

What the…? Must be booze already affecting me

"Your girlfriend cheated on you too?" his question stops my mental babble.

"Wow" hey, don't judge, I couldn't come up with anything better than that. I'm still dealing with my initial shock. I've met Juliette back when I was dating Nick's partner, Hank which is why we've become enemies actually…I kind of dated him so I could squeeze some information out of him for a case I was defending and they were working on…I was a jerk I admit it, but it was like forever ago.

"Yeah, wow" he says bitterly while he sips from his now empty glass, he stares at it like it's the person Juliette cheated on him with "Hey Nyall" he waves at the bartender "Another shot" he glances my way then back at Nyall "Make them two"

"Do you know the guy…or girl?" for all I know, she might as well switch teams

Nick fights a smile, but his expression darkens again immediately "Her boss"

"What! The short guy with a nine months pregnancy belly?" I snort before I can control myself. I think the guy's name is Trevor or Taylor or whatever starts with T. I met him few times when I took my mom's cat to the veterinary clinic Juliette works at and I swear each time I saw him, I expected a baby to pop out "Geez, doesn't his belly comes in the way when they…"

Nick stops me midsentence "I don't want to go there"

"I think I have just thrown up in my mouth"

Nick chuckles beside me "So, what brings you here on a Monday night?" he quotes my own question

"The appeal was rejected" I shrug, unable to meet Nick's eyes, although I can sense the intensity of his gaze on me "And your Mom says the bureau can't prove Sean's involvement with BC"

Nick knows all too well what's happening to me, it was Portland Police that was on the Portland BC cell case, before the bureau took over.

He nods "Yeah, she mentioned it when I last talked to her…Shit happens, sorry about that"

Feeling my throat tightening, I decide to deflect the conversation. I really need a distraction, anything that would take my mind away from my problems.

"Hey, do you want to do something fun?" I ask cheerfully

Nick raises an eyebrow suspiciously "No"

"Great, let's go throw toilet paper around Juliette's house"

"You do realize it's my house too? Oh, and by the way, we're not teenagers anymore"

Threes more shots and fifteen minutes later, we're skillfully arranging toilet paper and Chantilly on his front yard while laughing like two teenagers. We stare proudly at the result of our artistic work as we hear a police car approaching. Shoot, someone must have seen us and called the cops.

Ok, we can handle this, we're two adults who should assume whatever they do

Nick grabs my hand and leads me to an empty alley "Come on, hurry"

"I'm doing what I can, try and run with a three inch heels" I scold, when I hear the police car approaching, I remove my shoes and start running barefoot. Nick is still holding my hand, while we run. The cold night wind feels like a caress against my skin. For a second, I close my eyes and inhale the deep sent of the night.

"I think we're safe, now" Nick informs me when we reach a park. He lays on the grass and I lay beside him "That was…puerile" he admits, eyes fixed on the stars

"We can still blame alcohol for that"

His beautiful eyes scrutinize my face "I'm not drunk"

I'm not either, but it was more fun than I had in years

"I'll keep it a secret" I wink "So, are you spending the night in this park?"

He shakes his head "I think I'll sleep in my car, I don't want to go home and find Juliette waiting for me"

With that, I jump to my feet and extend my hand to him, Nick looks at me quizzically "Get up" he takes my hand reluctantly and I help him up, not that he needed it in the first place. I have no idea why I did it

"Let's go" I order

"Where?"

I hold my coat tightly, September nights are getting really chilly "My place" I glare at him "I'm not propositioning you, I'm just offering you a shelter for the night"

"Let's call a truce for tonight and go back to being enemies in the morning" I add

My last statement puts an end to Nick's mental debate, as he nods reluctantly. He drives me back to Tony's to get my car back, then follows me to my place.

"Beer?" I ask as soon as we're inside

"Gladly"

%%%

My head weighs a hundred pounds…No, wait, my whole body weighs about three hundred pounds. Other than my pounding head, I feel like my bed is on my body, rather than my body on my bed. How is that possible? It's like a two hundred body is sprawled over me…images of last night parade in my head…Shit, shit, shit

Tell me it's a nightmare

This is not happening

I open my eyes slightly and reluctantly and see an arm and a leg on my body…Yeah, human body parts are hanging on me, as I turn my head to the left my suspicion becomes real.

I slept with Nick Burkhardt


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Quick update :D Thanks for your great feedback. Hope you'll like this new chap**

Chapter 02 : Adalind in creepy land

Calm down Adalind, it might not be what it looks like. I peek discretely under the sheets and sure enough, I'm naked…holly cows, I'm naked with Nick Burkhardt in bed. Obviously, we didn't do the deed fully clothed…Ok, ok, maybe we didn't do a thing, I mean we were so drunk that I'm not sure we were able to even move a toe finger, let alone do some gymnastic together while naked. My theory evaporates as soon as I start to disentangle from Nick's body and a very sweet soreness hits my body.

"Owch" it's just like when you spend years lazing around, then go back to the gym…God, I'm not sure I can move my legs…or my arms…or any other part of my body

At the sound of my voice Nick moves beside me and starts stretching with his eyes still shut. I quickly scoot away from him and hide my naked body as best I can with my white linen sheets. Slowly, I get to my feet, afraid to wake him in the process. I have no idea how to deal with a one night stand. Should I shake his hand and thank him for the night?

He throws an arm over his eyes to block the sunlight invading the room, the innocent gesture though brings to full display his perfectly defined muscles. Heck, he's got a great chest and arms. The guy obviously works out more that few days a week.

My eyes travel over the upper part of his body shamelessly, the sheets hanging very low on his waist and leaving very little to the imagination. The moment my eyes settle on his neck, I gasp in horror. There's a purplish red mark near his throat…It's a hickey….I gave him a hickey…I think I want to die, right here, right now…wait, I can say it's a mosquito bite. Back in freshmen year of high school, Patrick Kendrix had this huge red mark on his neck caused by a mosquito…Oh my God, Patrick had a hickey, I just realize it now…I can say I pinched Nick when I realized what we were doing was a mistake. Yeah, it makes sense, I will just say that.

I moan agonizingly when I notice a bite mark on his arm, there is no way I can live with that, but the sound I have just made makes Nick jump to his feet. His face turns livid as soon as he sees me "Fuck…It was real!" he runs a hand in his hair nervously, his morning face really looks good, even with his hair sticking in all directions and his two days stubble, then gorgeous green eyes glare at me accusingly and all positive thoughts I had about him vanish.

"Hey, I didn't rape you, Mister…As far as I can tell, you made the first move" I cross my arms over my chest defiantly, which was the wrong thing to do as the sheets fall instantly to the floor, leaving me gloriously naked, Nick's eyes widen in shock "Turn around, crap…Ahhh, close your eyes…Err leave the room" I order as I bend to get the white sheets and run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

When I leave the bathroom ten minutes later, I'm glad Nick isn't in my bedroom anymore, I grab a pair of faded blue jeans and a white shirt, then text hurriedly Harrison to let him know I'll be late to the office. My morning fix of coffee is much needed, but as soon as I step out my room, I find Nick lying nervously against the wall. The moment he notices me, he goes stiff "Listen…I didn't mean to blame last night on you…It was a mistake…" the expression on his face tells me he meant every word he said…Every single one

"Yeah, a mistake we need to put behind us" I fold my arms over my chest defensively. His reaction this morning really irritated me, I mean, yeah none of us meant for the night to end up in bed, but still, it happened and we both need to take responsibility for what happened. Anyways, it's never happening again, that I can assure him

He nods slowly "Ok"

"I don't even remember last night to be totally honest" I lie, flashes of last night kept parading in my brain as soon as I stepped under the water faucet in the shower "I guess it wasn't that memorable" I say drily as I brush past him toward the kitchen

Nick narrows his eyes on me, clearly annoyed with what I've just said "Back to being a witch, I see"

"You can see yourself out" I glance at the door "Oh, and as far as I'm concerned, last night never happened"

"Believe me, last night's intercourse is not something I'd be willing to brag about" he grabs his car keys and storms out of my house. As soon as he's out of sight, I throw a cushion pillow at the door.

"Asshole"

For Pete's sake, how could I find him attractive and fun to hang out with, yesterday?

Answer: Alcohol causes hallucinations

Conclusion: Alcohol transforms a frog into a prince

My phone's ringtone brings me back to reality, my heart sinks as I check the caller's ID. Sean. With shaking hands, I press the green button and bring the phone to my ear, scared of what he's going to tell me. This man is dangerous and I pissed him off when I ditched him and went straight to the police when I discovered who he really was.

"Hello?" I say tentatively

"Mommy" my little girl's voice echoes in the phone "Mommy, I miss you so much. Why don't you love me?" she cries over the phone

I literally drop to my knees, a striking pain running through my body. Every so often, Sean gets Diana to speak to me over the phone, only to torture me even more. He's feeding her lies, letting her think that I'm the one who abandoned her.

"Baby" I hiccup "I love you… more… than life" I can't help the sobs. Having a child taken from you is awfully painful, but knowing that said child believes you don't love her makes you wish for death.

"Why don't you come get me?"

"I will, baby, I will" I promise her, meaning every word

But Sean snatches the phone from her before I have time to finish "That's it, princess, go play with Elga, Mommy's busy" he tells her in a soft voice that he only reserves for Diana. No matter how much I hate this man, I know he loves his daughter more than anything else.

"I will kill you" I say through gritted teeth

Sean ignores my threat "Adalind, Love, we miss you, too"

His sweet voice disgusts me, how did I fall in this man's trap. I was young and he was charming and charismatic. No woman could resist Sean Renard and I was no different "Listen, Sweety, I'd love to talk to you, but I have to go"

I stare blankly at the phone, unable to move for what looks like forever, before finally getting to me feet and going to my room. I go on my computer and look for the next flight to Austria. Shit, there's a flight but it's taking off two hours from now. I grab quickly a suitcase and shove just whatever's in my closet inside. I rummage through my underwear drawers and pick some toiletry as well.

I send a quick email to Harrison, informing him I'm taking his offer to take few days off. I can deal with the administrative crap later.

Two hours later I'm on a flight to Austria, both excited at the perspective of getting to see my daughter again and stressed out over what's really waiting for me out there.

%%%

"Adalind?" Viktor, Sean's cousin and a member of BC as well looks at me in utter astonishment as Bartram, his bodyguard leaves us alone in the big family Mansion "How are you?"

I didn't waste anytime when I got here, I went straight to a hotel, left my suitcase there and came directly here. I don't need any rest, all I want is my daughter back.

I take a seat without waiting for his invitation "Spare me your pleasantries, where's my daughter?"

"And what makes you think I know that?" he lays against his chair with a smirk on his face

"Please, you're Sean's right arm" I inch closer and rest my arms on his massive wooden desk "Where. Is. Diana?" I enunciate each word separately

He mimics my posture and tone "I. Don't. Know"

Out of fury and despair, I pick the blunt knife sitting on his desk and bring it his throat in the hopes of scaring him enough to give me my daughter's location, but before I have time to reach him, he springs to his feet and grabs my hand strongly "Don't you dare, bitch"

In a nanosecond, his behemoth of a bodyguard is back. With a simple nod from victor, he grabs my arm and literally drags me to a secluded room, my protests and kicks don't faze him for a second, when we reach the room in question, he throws me inside and locks the door. I pound my fists against it "Let me go" I shout over and over again, until my throat is soar

"That will give you time to think" I hear Viktor say from the other side "Next time you threaten Black Claw, I won't show this much mercy"

I pound my fists against the door again "Please, Viktor, let me out" but my pleads are ignored

After few minutes of pleading, begging, threatening and shouting, I finally let go. I scan the room. Except for a bed and a nightstand, there's absolutely nothing inside, not even a window. I sit on the bed and bring my knees to my chest, terror cursing through me as minutes become hours, while I wait for someone to come get me out of here.

Threatening Viktor wasn't a smart move, but I was desperate and eager to get my daughter back. Guess that bastard was right, this does definitely give me time to think. Finding Diana here would have been way too easy. Sean would never be that clumsy. Then, where is she?

I put my head on the hard as rock pillow and try to ignore my hunger as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep. That night, I dream of being reunited with my daughter, but she's taken away from me again and what started as a beautiful dream, ends up being a nightmare.

The sound of locks being opened wakes me, I have no idea what time it is as I sit up abruptly "Viktor?"

"Good morning, Adalind" he smiles smugly "You're free to go. Courtesy of your ex husband" he opens the door widely for me

"Sean?" I ask incredulously

Viktor gestures to the door "Is there another ex husband I haven't heard of?"

I roll my eyes, this man can be such a pain in the neck

"He wasn't happy to know we kept you here" Viktor carries on, smiling at me like we're old buddies sharing a secret

"Where is he?" I ask eagerly, but Viktor gives me a do-you-think-I'm-telling-you look

He escorts me to the door with Bartram in tail "Bye" he waves at me as I step outside, that guy has a serious problem of bipolarity "Come visit us again" he gives me a creepy smile comparable to the one spotted by Johnny Depp when he portrayed the Hatter in Alice in Wonderland.

Austria is wonderland, my daughter is the rabbit I'm desperately looking for and I guess I'm Alice, I mean I do look like an Alice, you know, Blond hair, blue eyes, fair skin…Damn, my outfit is not blue…Geez, have I just compared my shitty situation to Alice's life?

"Oh my God, I don't want to turn into a miniature" I say as I pick my ringing phone

"Excuse me?" Kelly Burkhardt sounds perplexed

"Errr…Sorry, I…I was reading a line from a book" Suddenly, I feel uncomfortable speaking to her, images of my night with her son assault my brain, causing my cheeks to heat. Luckily, she's not here to notice my embarrassment, she'd definitely notice something highly suspicious.

"What are you doing in Austria, Adalind?" she sounds like a mother scolding her child

Damn it, how does she know?

"We always keep an eye on you, Adalind" Kelly Burkhardt is a mind reader, I mean how else could she know what I was thinking? Add that to her ninja skills "We're concerned about your safety"

"I'm fine" I sigh, as I start walking aimlessly

"Let the Bureau take care of it" she says in a stern voice

I lose what little patience I had "The Bureau has done nothing during the past couple years, I'm counting on myself from now on"

"Adalind"

"Goodbye, Kelly" I hang up immediately


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Annnnnd another fast update :D** **Thanks for the fantastic feedback**

 **Enjoy**

Chapter 03 : From "bed" to worse

Going back to Portland isn't an option. I'm just going to conduct my own investigation, in the hopes of finding my daughter's whereabouts. Each day without her feels like my skin is being peeled off my body. The only real happiness I've ever experienced was back when I held my baby in my arms for the first time. She was so tiny and so pretty, I couldn't take my eyes away from her.

Back then, my relationship with Sean was already going downhill. Our short lived marriage was nothing but a series of lies and deception. I was young and easily impressed when I met him. I thought dating a bad boy was exciting and I was convinced I could change him for the best. Foolish thinking!

What I ignored though, was that Sean Renard wasn't just a man who earned crazy amounts of suspicious money and enjoyed the company of the opposite sex, no, he was part of one of the largest criminal organizations in the world. Discovering that converted my fascination with this man into disgust and I was abashed when I realized that he was nothing like the image I created of him in my naïve mind.

During that time, the idea of ending my marriage to him was out of the question. I was raised by a mother who wouldn't allow failure of any sort and a divorce was on top of her list of failures

Diana wasn't an accident, my exemplar of a mother insisted having a baby would change Sean…Funny, when you know that my dad left few years after I was born. I ignore why I followed her advice, maybe I wanted this to work…Maybe I was hoping he'd finally regard us as his future and gets away from that initial route…Maybe I was desperate for love and was scared to be abandoned by him just like my father did years before…But one thing was sure, slowly my heart stopped beating faster in his presence, my mind stopped dreaming of him every second and I all but stopped loving him altogether.

It's already been a month and still no sign of Sean or my daughter. I've been stalking Viktor's mansion every day in the hopes of seeing Diana, but in vain. I've put my job at my law firm on standby, luckily, Harrison was kind enough to convince the other associates to give me a layoff for as long as needed. I'm good at doing my job, heck I'm great at it, if not for my personal problems I was to become associate and that's the reason why I'm not worried about getting my job back when I'm back to Portland.

The question is, when?

My hotel room phone rings and gets me out of my reverie "Miss Schade, there's a mister Renard on the phone for you"

I ignore the uncomfortable squeeze of my heart as I proceed to talk to him "Sean" I don't bother with the 'how did you know I was staying here', because I know darn well he had me followed the moment I set foot here

"Are you out of your mind, Adalind" he flares, which is quite unlikely of him. He's always composed and calm "Do you want to get yourself killed? Black Claw sees you as a target, you gave away important names to the FBI" he spits vehemently "You're on their black list…Fuck, you're lucky it was Viktor and not someone else"

Yeah, I made major enemies during the past years after my collaboration with the FBI to get Sean and BC down.

"What do you care?" I snort

He sighs heavily "Why do you want to complicate things, Adalind? Come back and you won't have to endure all this suffering"

I grit my teeth "Never going to happen" I say for the umpteenth time since I asked for a divorce

Sean's voice turns ice cold "Then I guess you'll have to accept that you have no daughter" before he hangs up the phone, I hear Diana's voice "Daddy, look at what Henr…" the line goes dead before I hear her full sentence.

His threat is still echoing in my throbbing head, when an old forgotten name pops in my mind. Henrietta. Of course, she must know something, she's Sean's oldest friend and by friend I mean the one who carried on granting him benefits even during our marriage, so sue me, but I'd love to rip her head off if I could.

If I manage to track down Henrietta, I can have her spill Sean's location. She's always been a constant in his life and I know he confides in her more than anybody. But how can I find her? This woman is a ghost who never stays in one place. After pacing in my room for almost an hour, an idea finally takes shape in my head.

I decide to dial an old friend's number

"Martin Meisner" he says as he picks the phone. I hadn't realized how much I missed him until I heard his voice.

I met Martin Meisnet back when I worked at the DA's office, he was a brilliant FBI field agent and we became friends quite rapidly after that. Behind his many layers of roughness and muscles, lies a big heart. Last I heard he became one of the main instructors in Quantico.

"Hey, it's Adalind" I feel shy all of a sudden. For all these years, I haven't been in touch, and the only reason I'm calling now is to ask for his help. I feel like a crappy friend

"Adalind" I'm relieved to hear the subtle note of delight in his tone. I mean you have to know Meisner well in order to decipher him, because the guy has only one facial expression…he looks angry all the time and never breaks a smile "How are you doing?"

"I'm good" I bite my lower lip "I'm not actually…I need your help to have somebody's home address…It has to do with Diana" I know Meisner has a soft spot for my daughter. She's actually the only person who managed to snatch a smile from him.

Meisner sighs "You'll get me in deep shit"

Hell, I know and that's why I have no idea what to tell him. If I wasn't desperate, I would never have asked him in the first place, knowing the trouble I'm getting him into.

"Full name"

I exhale in relief "Henrietta James"

"Alright, I'll call you when I have something"

My heart flutters as hope invades every cell of my body. I'm getting closer to finding my daughter. The prospect brings tears to my eyes

"Thanks, Martin" I'm aware not many people are allowed to use his first name, but for some reason, I was always granted the privilege and holding on to it preciously

It takes Meisner a couple weeks to get me the information, he explains that he had to use archaic methods to get the address in order to cover his tracks. Apparently, Henrietta was traveling across Europe and she should be back to Portland next week, at least this is the date she booked when she purchased her flight ticket.

Meisner promised to let me know if and when she goes through customs in Portland International Airport. For my part, I book my flight to Portland immediately after the phone call ends. Two days later, I'm driving back home. Exhausted from the long flight and the unfruitful trip to Austria.

The moment I step in my bedroom, my bed transforms into a cloud and I could swear it has just winked at me "Don't insist, Buddy" I tell my bed "I'm more than willing to spend time with you"

Yeah, I speak to my bed, so what?

I throw myself on my bed and what seems to be only few minutes later, I'm woken up by a loud knock on the door. I drag myself out of bed with a lot of difficulty, still yawning I mutter a "Coming" praying whoever's trying to break my door stops this massacre.

"Mom!" I startle as I fling the door open

She storms into my house, flaring like a wild animal and turns to face me only when she reaches the living room. Fierce blue eyes glare at me unhappily, while a lock of platinum blond hair falls from her perfect chignon. I'm sure she's a minute from spitting fire and exhaling smoke from her nostrils…Catherine Schade is a scary dragon

"Why don't you answer my calls?" she demands

"Sorry, I was sleeping" I sigh, as I walk to the kitchen to grab some coffee, I'm going to need it

My mother follows me "Oh, please" she says with mock humor

I turn my fierce eyes on her, tired of her suffocating intrusion in my life "Mom, I texted you as soon as my flight landed in PDX"

"That was twenty four hours ago" she shakes her head furiously "You haven't picked your phone since"

"What are you talking about?" I start toward my bedroom "That was only few hours ago"

My mom stops me on my tracks and puts her hand on my forehead, testing my temperature "Adalind, you've slept for twenty four hours"

"Wow, that's a hell of a jet lag…Well, on second thought, it's quite natural when you spend over thirteen hours on a plane" and when you're really depressed and you want to sleep to oblivion.

"Go get a shower, I'll fix you something to eat" she orders me

When I get to my room, I check my phone first. My battery is almost dead and there are at least fifteen missed calls, twelve from my mom, one from an unknown number and two from Meisner. There's also a text from him

 _Henrietta just checked in Paris Orly Airport_

 _She should be here by tomorrow. She lives in 750, Belmont District_

 _M_

My heart pounds hard in my chest as I proceed to text back Meisner

 _Thanks. I owe you big time_

 _A_

Looks like I'm paying an old friend a visit

After a quick shower, I join my mother in the kitchen and I'm happy to see she got us a pizza delivered, that's the meaning of fixing you something to eat in my mom's dictionary. She sucks at cooking, giving affection or simply being a mom. I sit on a stool behind the kitchen counter realizing how famished I am, as the smell of pepperoni and tomato dances around me. I could get high on the smell and before I know it there's only one slice of pizza in the box. My mom looks at me agape.

"Sorry" I laugh shyly between bites of pizza "I…was… humgwy" I manage to say with my stuffed mouth

I'm so sick the following days, I can't go to Henrietta's place. Eating an entire pizza and in record time was a very bad idea, my stomach wasn't happy and it punished me for the food marathon I put it through.

"Do you have anything for upset stomach?" I ask the lady at the spice shop

She smiles kindly at me, she's really pretty with her light brown hair and beautiful almond eyes "Yeah, sure" she rummages through rows and rows of spices "What type of upset stomach?"

"The type the hurts and talks in gargles?" my answer sounds like a question itself

She scans my outfit and fights the laugh bubbling in her throat. Yeah, I might or might not be wearing animal print pajamas right this moment and an oversize jacket. I give her an embarrassed smile.

"Ah, I have just what you need" she grabs a jar with a weird thing inside, but I'm ready to swallow just anything to stop what must be a food poisoning "Ginger" she announces when she notices my horrified expression "Don't worry, it tastes great"

"Thank you" I take the bag after I pay her

"See you" she waves goodbye as I start to leave

Good news is, the ginger infusion tastes good and stopped my nausea, bad news is I have diarrhea now to the point that I'm considering bringing a bed to the bathroom…Why haven't I ever thought of it? A bed and a mini kitchen…for some reason, it sounds like a great idea while I'm sticking my feverish cheek to the cold floor tile. Feels good…Hey, is that a spider web under the sink? I'm calling Bertha tomorrow, my house needs some cleaning…

Gklbkkùk

No worries, that's just my stomach telling me there's another wave coming

%%%

My food poisoning seems to have eased, finally. I'm glad to be on my way to Henrietta's house. I'm sure she doesn't expect to see me and that's good, because the element of surprise will prevent her from getting a bunch of lies lined up at the door. I adjust my grey pencil dress…Geez, I told the dry cleaner to be careful to wash it with cold water and look at this, it's almost a size smaller. I can barely breathe in it. What if I faint just like Elizabeth Swann in Pirates of the Caribbean?

Stop being a drama queen and get your shit together, Adalind

I knock lightly at the door, before a tall woman with chocolate skin and dark hair opens it. I'm taken aback by her striking beauty. I had never met Henrietta before, but this woman could be a supermodel for all I know. A big smile creeps her lips when she sees me "Adalind Schade!"

"You know me?" I gasp in surprise

She opens the door wider, a clear invitation which I accept gladly "Why would I not, you're all Sean talks about" she gestures to the living room sofa "Have a seat"

I ignore the present tense she used as I amend "Yet, he came to you even when we were together"

She smiles like I've just complemented her "Only when you denied him the pleasure of your company, Sweety"

She disappears in what seems to be a kitchen and comes back with a tray of lemonade and biscuits. She sets them on the table and places a cup in front of me. As she sits beside me, I can't help but wrinkle my nose in distaste. Eeek, the smell of her flowery perfume is nauseating. I scoot to the opposite end of the sofa, praying she'd take the hint and sit somewhere else, but she seems to find my reaction amusing.

"So, what brings you here?" she finally asks

"Where is my daughter?" I really see no point in turning around the bush

She shakes her head with an amused expression "What makes you think I'm willing to tell you?"

"Henrietta, I need to see her, I'm her mother" I inch closer, hoping to knock some sense in her head, but instead it's her perfume that knocks me out. A wave of flowery sent assaults my nostrils and I get up quickly, throwing up in the first thing I see fit…A flower vase

When I'm done, I find Henrietta sitting right behind me and rubbing my back, I'm shocked to see the worried expression on her face. I expected her to go berserk after the terrible fate I reserved to her vase "Feeling better?" she wonders

"I'm not sure" I say honestly as I rub my stomach

"How far long are you?"

"Excuse me?"

She raises an eyebrow "You don't know it, do you?"

"I don't know what?" I cross my arms over my chest

"Nausea, sensitive to smells, throwing up" she gives me a once over "Getting curvier"

I find her comment irritating "I'm not pregnant" I state sharply "It's impossible, I haven't been with …" flashes of my night with Nick Burkhardt feel like bullet shots in my head

This must be a nightmare


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: More familiar character are included in this chap :D hope you'll like it and my muse says a big THANK YOU for the feedback**

 **Enjoy**

Chapter 04 : There's a fruits basket in my womb

When I was in 8th grade, our science teacher Miss Chendler made us watch a video on childbirth. Some women on the video described the process as the most painful experiment of their lives. I remember that one of them even compared it to having your skin ripped off your body. That day, I decided I wasn't having any children…Yet, few years later I had my first child Diana and what I learned from my labor was that:

One, it didn't feel like your skin was being ripped…It felt like somebody grabbed a pair of scissors and started cutting my skin…Wait, it's exactly what it was, which led me to:

Two, I wasn't stepping in a labor room ever again

I'm pregnant…I'm absolutely and beyond a shadow of doubt pregnant

One positive pregnancy test can have a certain rate of inaccuracy, two have a lesser rate, three have none. So, judging by the three white sticks with pink dots on them, I'm carrying an avocado in my womb whose seed was planted by no other than Nick Burkhardt.

Thank you life for your great sense of humor, I'm really amazed by your pranks

Although this child was conceived accidently and is in no way the result of an intercourse of two people in love, I know that I loved it the moment I confirmed it was here…and of course, once I was past my period of denial which lasted a week or so. I was so concentrated on my search for my daughter that I didn't even notice I was awfully late.

I rub my belly absentmindedly as I stare through the window at the snow blanket covering the pavement, winter is going to be particularly cold this year, I'm completely lost in my thoughts when suddenly a familiar voice startles me "Angry stomach?"

The pretty brunette of the spice shop takes the seat beside me at Dr Matha Jones' office, I fight the laugh that's bubbling inside my throat, she nicknamed me "angry stomach" for Pete's sake "Hi" I extend my hand "I prefer Adalind" I say with a smile

She shakes my hand excitedly "Rosalee" she gestures to my belly "Guess that's the reason behind your unhappy stomach that day…you must be excited"

"I am" I say honestly as I stroke my belly tenderly "I'm discovering the sex of the baby today"

Rosalee gives me a genuine smile "Wow" she looks around then back at me with her eyebrows furrowed "Guess the father couldn't come with you to the doctor's appointment"

I feel the heat rising to my cheeks at the mention of my baby's father. God, he doesn't even know I'm expecting his child. I mean I tried to tell him, I went to his place and was all but ready to knock at his door and announce the big news, but when I saw Juliette emerging from the house, I wasn't so sure it was a good idea. I don't want my child to feel unwanted or not enough loved. Nick doesn't like me and I don't like him either, I know many people worked through their differences for the sake of their children, but is Nick capable of that? Am I capable of that?

Even so, I know I should give him the choice, but the more time passed the more I believed nothing good would come out of it. I earn enough money at my law firm to give the baby a comfortable life, as for love, I know I'm capable of giving enough of it.

"He…Errr…" I stutter on my words, looking for the right thing to say

Rosalee blushes "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy" before she has time to elaborate, the doctor's assistant calls my name. A sudden wave of stress washes over me, that's it, I'm about to discover if it's a He or a She, not that it matters as long as the baby is healthy. I try to get up on wobbly legs. I feel lonely all of sudden. I would have loved for somebody to come with me, but who? My mom wouldn't speak to me because I'm having a baby out of marriage and also because I refused to give away the identity of the father and other that her, I don't have anybody to accompany me here.

Rosalee reaches for my hand, probably noticing my sudden discomfort "Do you want me to come with you?"

Tears sting in my eyes "Would you?"

She nods and gets to her feet immediately. While the doctor pours the gel on my swollen belly and places the probe on it, Rosalee takes my hand in hers and smiles reassuringly at me. We're both in awe as the doctor proceeds to explain what's on the images.

"Well, well" Dr Jones gestures to the small screen "Looks like you're having a boy"

I'm having a boy, Oh my God, my mind drifts off to Diana immediately. My little girl is going to have a brother. I can't help the floods of tears covering every inch of my face. For the first time in a very long time, I feel happy. Rosalee squeezes my hand "Congratulations" she mutters with a giant smile.

"Thank you for everything" I tell her once we step outside the office, a wave of ice cold air grazing my skin.

"I'm glad I was there" she hesitates before adding "My husband and I are trying to have a baby…that's actually why I came"

Before I have time to say something, my phone buzzes in my jacket pocket, I retrieve it and check the message I got. It's a video from Sean, as I open it, I see my daughter opening gifts by the Christmas tree. Sean hands her a box in a red wrap and golden bow knot…I recognize it as the gift I begged Henrietta to deliver for me. It's already January, so the video was filmed about ten days ago.

" _What is it?"_ she asks

" _I don't know, open it, it's from mommy"_ it's Sean's voice

Diana shakes her head frantically _"I don't want it…I don't like her anymore"_

The happiness I felt earlier evaporates and my heart breaks into a million pieces, her last words echo in my head as if someone pressed on replay _I don't want it…I don't like her anymore._ I feel dizzy all of a sudden and start to lose balance, it all plays in slow motion as I see Rosalee's shocked expression, then my eyes travel to the ground I'm about to hit hard, except it doesn't happen. Somebody grabs me from behind and helps steady me

"Thanks God you were here, Monroe" Rosalee speaks to the man who's still holding my arm

"Are you ok?" What I assume is Rosalee's husband asks

I nod slowly, unable to produce any coherent sound

"What happened?" Rosalee's concerned face is all I can see, as I go on auto-pilot

"It was my ex husband"

Monroe shrieks unhappily "My best friend is a detective in Portland Police, if your ex is harassing you I can ask him to do something"

My heart contracts at the kindness of this couple "No, it's fine, don't worry. Thank you for offering though"

Rosalee and I exchange our phone numbers, she insists on checking on me later, just to make sure I'm fine.

%%%

The following months are quite uneventful, Rosalee comes with me to every doctor appointment. We have lunch together at the spice shop every Friday. She goes with me shopping for the baby and she never asks about the father. My life seemed to go back on track, until it all came crashing down.

"I can't believe you're already six months pregnant" Rosalee shrugs, while we're having our usual Friday lunch "I still remember that first time you came seeking a remedy to your stomach ache" she laughs

"How can you not believe it? look at me, I'm huge" I gesture to my stomach

She stares at me with a somber expression "I wish I was huge as well" I know she's referring to having a baby. Monroe and her are really eager to become parents and I'm sure they'll be fantastic ones. I reach for her hand and give her a gentle squeeze "Hey, don't lose hope, I have a positive feeling about that"

Rosalee forces a smile on her face and nods

My phone starts ringing, putting our conversation on hold "Hello?"

"You'd better tell me who is the father, Adalind or I'll squeeze it out of you and you know I'm not afraid to have blood on my hands" Sean's menacing voice sends shivers down my spine. He discovered I was pregnant a month ago, when I couldn't hide it anymore. I knew what was coming, Sean still has informants here and for some reason, he still believes I'm his.

I tell him what I always say "It's none of your business"

Rosalee murmurs an "Is it him?" and I nod

"Then don't blame me for what's going to happen. I gave you enough time, Adalind" he says before the line goes dead.

My heart pounds very hard against my chest, Sean has something behind his head and it's not going to be pretty, I have yet to know what it is and it doesn't take long for me to discover it. After I left the spice shop, I go buy some new pregnancy clothes because mine don't fit anymore, as I walk back to my car, a black SUV rushes toward me on high speed, intent on ending my life. I'm so shocked that my legs stay rooted to the ground. I hear people shouting, screaming, yelling, but I'm unable to move, then it's a blackout.

When I open my eyes again, I'm lying on a hospital bed, my arm is bandaged and my head feels like it's just thrown a wild party. It's throbbing like hell. As soon as I remember what happened in the parking lot, my heart goes on over drive "My baby…how is my baby?" I ask the nurse standing by my bed

She smiles reassuringly "The baby's fine and so are you, except for few bruises here and there"

"Miss Schade" a police officer with Asian features knocks at the door "I'm agent Wu and this is agent Hernandez" he gestures to the tall man beside him "Can we ask you few questions?"

I proceed to tell them what happened, what little I remember and Agent Wu explains that fortunately a car was about to leave the parking lot when the SUV came my way, so the driver charged toward it crashing hard against the SUV. I was relieved to know nothing happened to my savior. The SUV driver though, managed to run away. Police is investigating the case and they should find out more thanks to the vehicle's plate.

"FBI, I'm agent Burkhardt" Kelly shows the officers her badge when she enters the room "We're taking over"

Agent Wu raises an eyebrow, not appreciating the interruption

"Miss Schade is a valuable witness in a case the FBI is investigating" she clarifies and signifies for them to leave as she holds the door open with a fierce glare

The moment the police officers are out of sight, Kelly directs her unhappy scowl at me. I'm the victim here, why is she staring at me like I'm a criminal?

"What?" I ask defensively

"Tell me it's not Renard's" she flares. I've never seen Kelly lose her composure and somewhat, her reaction takes me by surprise.

"Of course not" the mere insinuation feels like an insult

I see relief on her face the moment the words leave my mouth, she nods slightly, then walks toward my bed. For the first time since I met Kelly Burkhardt, I see vulnerability on her face. I notice her wrinkled forehead, her tired expression and more importantly her concerned eyes. She brushes a strand of hair away from my face, in that motherly way my own mother never did.

"The first thing they teach future FBI officers at Quantico is to never get emotionally attached to cases, as it could be fatal" she strokes my hair absentmindedly "And I always abided by it, until I met you Adalind, I admired your courage to stand against a terrorist organization as big as BC, I admired your determination to get your daughter back, I admired how despite hurting in the inside you still held your head high, then slowly my admiration gave place to affection" I inhale deeply as her words reach under my skin and head toward my miserable heart "I stopped regarding you as a case and before I knew it, you became an extension of my family" she sits on my bed to faces me, her eyes shine with unshed tears "I have no right to tell you what to do or not do with your life, Adalind, just be safe"

A single tear escapes my eye "I will"

She glances at my belly and I dread what's to come "So, who's the happy father?"

I consider my options, but unfortunately there aren't many, it's either I tell her the truth or pretend it's the Immaculate Conception. Oh, wait, there's a third option, I could still faint and won't have to say anything, but it's just a temporary solution.

A phone call puts our conversation on hold "Sorry, it's my daughter" Kelly brings the phone to her ear "Yes, Theresa"

Nick has a sister! I didn't know that. He doesn't sound to be the type to have a sister. Do men who have siblings have a type? Why am I even wondering? Anyways, it's not like I know much about him. We barely stand being in the same room, let alone have a real conversation. That night was an exception…a mistake…which resulted in Nick planting a seed in my womb.

Kelly ends her conversation with her daughter and faces me again "Where were we? Oh, the baby's father"

I sigh, then flash her my best smile "So, how do you feel about becoming a grandmother?"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: It's me again, thanks for your fantastic reviews, they really boost my craetivity :D So, there's this Nadalind campaign going-on on Twitter to support Adalind and Nadalind, if you guys are interested, you simply post whatever you want with HT NadalindStrong, NadalindForver or NadalindFamily :)**

 **Enjoy the new chap**

Chapter 05 : "Never ask a baker what went into a pie. Just eat." George RR Martin 

Sometimes, we underestimate the extent of our mistakes until we see their reflection on someone's disappointed face. Who knew, I'd feel so much shame from hiding my pregnancy from Nick when not so long ago, I thought it was the best thing to do? Kelly shakes her head repeatedly as I admit that her son has no idea he's about to become a father. I could see each emotion on her face as I proceeded to tell her what happened; Surprise when I said it was Nick's baby, Embarrassment when I told her it was a one night stand, shock when I said I was more than six months pregnant and last but not least utter disappointment when I confessed I never told Nick about it.

She sighs unhappily "Why?"

I concentrate my gaze on the blue sheets that I ford and unfold nervously, too afraid to meet Kelly's fierce brown eyes. She's right, why did I hide it from him? What was I really scared of?

"Rejection" I mutter under my breath in a barely audible voice, but Kelly's sharp, she never misses a beat.

"What?" she wonders in an incredulous tone and I feel like a three year old again, caught stealing from the cookie jar. I lift my eyes to stare directly at her "I was afraid he wouldn't want the baby, I think I just wanted to avoid being in a position where I'd have to tell my baby that his father didn't want to have anything to do with him when he asked few years from now"

When the words leave my mouth, I realize how inconsistent they are. I mean I don't know much about Nick, but what little I know of him is that he's a man with principles and values, he would have taken his responsibilities if I told him the truth.

"This is not how I raised my son, Adalind" I barely recognize her cold voice, luckily another agent interrupts our conversation as he storms in the room.

"Agent Burkhardt" he calls her, his face devoid of any emotion

Kelly glares at me one last time before leaving the room "We're not done yet"

I watch her silhouette disappear in the hallway, then drown a little more in my shame. She's going to tell Nick, or worse, she'll ask me to tell him. OMG, I'm so not ready to confront him. What if he's back with Juliette? I'm not up for a ménage a trois. Holly cow, how did I get myself in this mess? Oh right, alcohol…If alcohol was a person, I'd sue it until it's thrown in jail for life.

I don't think alcohol is the only one to blame, my inner voice says in a sarcastic tone

Shut up, conscience, you're nothing but a kill joy.

Holidays, this is exactly what I need. Taking few days off, away from all this drama and it would buy some time before I tell Nick. I already picture beautiful beaches, with white sand and delicious fruit cocktails.

"Hawai is a good option" I think to myself with a small smile

"Don't even consider it" Kelly's stern expression tells me not to mess with her. Did I mention this woman is a ninja? Yeah, you never hear her getting in or out. I'd love to have such a power.

I roll my eyes "I'm not, I was just relinquishing in the possibility"

She grabs my bag and helps me stand up "Come-on, I'm taking you home" she orders, guess we'll have a long conversation on the way and cherry on the cake! I won't have anywhere to escape.

Kelly helps me settle in the passenger seat, then hops in behind the wheel, while she starts the car, I notice a police car following us. That's weird. I waited for them to take another way, but they're still tailing us.

"Why is a Police car following us?" I wonder, still staring in the lateral mirror

"The vehicle was a rental car, the owner said he rented it to Tony Frasier" when she notices my blank expression, she explains "Frasier has a record the size of a novel for minor infractions, drugs, robbery…About two years ago, he was thrown in jail for another offense, there, he met another inmate who had links with BC, less than a month later, both of them were released and we hadn't heard of Tony until today" my blood turns ice cold as realization hits, this is what Sean meant, this man was trying to kill me. No matter how hard I try, I can never escape Sean. The revelation feels like a stab in the heart

Kelly carries on "We're placing you under high protection. One officer will stay outside the house, while a second one will be permanently inside with you, until we have it figured out" she hesitates briefly before adding "Nothing will happen to you, I don't want you to worry, especially with your condition" she brings the car to a stop outside my house, then reaches for my hand "It's going to be ok, I won't let him hurt you" I turn to face her, resisting the urge to put my head on her shoulder and cry. With her thumb, she wipes away a tear that escaped my eye "Have some rest and call Nick tomorrow"

Although I'm apprehensive of my confrontation with Nick, I nod in agreement and drag myself reluctantly toward my house, the weight of today's events making each step I take heavier than the previous one. With Sean so keen on torturing me, I wonder if I can ever have the normal life I wish for.

As soon as I open the door, I hear someone calling my name, I turn around to see a chubby blond man, with a contagious smile "Miss Schade, I'm the agent assigned to you" he extends his hand "Rupert Wurstner, but everybody calls me Bud"

I shake his hand "I'm Adalind…errr…Welcome to my house, I guess"

I give Bud a quick tour of the house, during which I learn more things about his life than I do about most people I've known for years. Yeah, he's the talkative type. Not really what I needed with my migraine, but he sounds so genuine and nice than I decide to follow through. When I show him the guest room, Bud explains that he prefers to stay in the living room because it is the most strategic room in my house, as he can keep an eye on everything from here.

Once in the bathroom, I hop in the shower and let the hot water wash away my fatigue and hurt. After so much restraint, I let myself fall to the tiled floor, big drops of water hitting me hard while I let agony take over under the form of childish sobs. I cry my loneliness, my pain, my uncertain future with my kids.

What seems like forever later, I finally go to bed and settle in Morpheus arms. Sleep takes over, wiping some of my anguish for the night. Tomorrow will be another day, I tell myself reassuringly.

I dream of George Clooney preparing breakfast for me while the wonderful smell of coffee and waffles caresses my nostrils. The moment he sees me, George flashes me his trademark toothpaste add smile and I pray my hair is not sticking in different directions from sleep, I bring my hand quickly to my mouth to wipe any trace of saliva…Adalind, don't worry, you stopped salivating in your sleep when you were thirteen…Oh that's right…Hey, George, why are you fading away? Wait…George…And before I know it, it's Nick who's standing behind my kitchen counter, pointing a spatula at me…I take a step back and he charges toward me…

Sweat covers my whole body as I open my eyes abruptly "It was just a dream…just a dream" weird, because I still smell coffee and waffles. I hurry to the bathroom, wash my face and brush my teeth, just in case it's a repeat of the George Clooney scene.

"Oh, Good morning Miss Schade" Bud greets me, well my relationship with George was doomed to fail with my daily growing belly getting in the way "I made waffles, you like 'em?"

I sit on a stool in front of him and give him a smile "I love them"

Bud's relieved expression warms my heart; he places a plate of waffles and a mug of coffee, while he tells me about his wife's appetite during her four pregnancies. Bud has two girls and two boys. His wife phoebe cooks the best apple-pies known to mankind and I can attest of it, because Phoebe gave Bud a full pie before he came here and I told him he could store it in my fridge.

After a delicious breakfast in very good company I head to my room and get ready for work. Agent Morales, is the policeman in charge of my safety during work hours. He remains posted outside the building. Luckily, I'm staying exclusively in the office today. No courtroom, no errands to run, just paperwork and phone calls to make. Time flies by quite quickly and it's already time to go home.

"…But, actually, cinnamon is the real secret" Bud carries on with his cooking tips, when the bell rings. Bud jumps instantly to his feet and stops me from opening the door, he checks who's behind, then opens it.

A tall woman, in a black suit and curled dark hair slips inside "Kelly" but my smile falters as soon as I see the familiar face behind her. Light brown hair, two days stubble, unique green eyes and a toned body that would give a run to the best male models out there…Nick Burkhardt, i.e my baby's father, in case you don't remember.

"Hey Nick" Bud greets him happily, which gives me time to take Kelly aside and speak to her

"What's he doing here?" I whisper-yell

Kelly rolls her eyes at me, spiking my irritation even more "You're a grown woman, you shouldn't roll your eyes" I scold

"Are you implying I'm old?" she glares

Haha, deflecting the conversation is a good tactic, except I'm a lawyer, I'm all too well acquainted with all those shenanigans

"Adalind, you need to tell him" she shrugs in all seriousness

I sigh "Can't you tell him?" I plead. It would be so much easier if she just told him, then I'd deal with the aftermath.

She shakes her head adamantly

I frown "I thought you liked me like your own kids"

"No, I said like an extension of my family"

"Same difference" I flare

But before I have time to reply, Nick interrupts us. He takes slow strides in my direction, making my heart hide behind layers of fear and shame, with each step he takes. I turn left, then right, looking for the easiest escape, but Kelly's groan makes me change my mind. A second later, she disappears with Bud in the kitchen, giving us unwanted privacy.

"So, my mom said we needed to talk" he gives me that same old annoyed expression I get whenever he sees me. Geez, what's the best way to tell a man with whom you have a chaotic relationship that you're expecting his child?

 _Nick, see that big belly, guess what, there's a baby inside…Haha and you'll never believe it, it's yours_

Nope, not a good idea. I'll try another one

 _Hey Nick, have you ever considered having kids? Good, because this one is yours_

"I…So, umm…" I stumble upon my words, while Nick stares at me like I'm some dumb person and he's trying to decipher what I'm saying.

Fortunately, Bud reappears in the living room holding a plate of apple-pie "Don't worry Adalind, I left a slice for your baby's father" he smiles reassuringly at me "Agent Kelly Burkhardt told me he was here…I suppose she meant he's coming here…" he doesn't give me time to say a word, Kelly fights a smile when she sees my horrified expression "I mean, does he like pie?" he finally stops babbling and stares at me with his brows hunched together.

Beat beat/ Beat beat

Inhale/ Exhale

Not many options here, I stare at Kelly and she's purple red from the laughter she's fighting, I stare at Bud, he's still waiting for an answer, I stare at Nick and he raises an eyebrow at me, clearly wondering why I'm having a hard time answering such a simple question.

"I don't know" I face Nick again and exhale deeply "Do you like pie?"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you for your amazing feedback, I'm always excited to share more chapters with you :D I promise to try and post longer chapters from now on, as requested by some of you**

 **Muito obrigada pelos comentarios**

 **Enjoy**

Chapter 06 : The Scarlet A

There are different types of silence. There's the comfortable silence that you'd share with an old friend, it's when you needn't any words just to fill the void in the air. There is the awkward silence, the one that makes you nervous while you search desperately for something to say. Then, there's the unbearable silence; the one that's just a prelude to a verdict…The one that makes every breath you take harder to inhale than the previous one. It's the type of heavy silence that's louder than the highest decibels of babies' cries.

Speaking of babies, this is exactly what it's all about

"Oh, Nick! He loves pies, actually…." Bud's incessant babble is just a background noise that in no way breaks the awful silence that's spreading in the room. I can hear a mosquito complaining about the lack of food nowadays Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I can hear the sound of my heart's fits against the walls of my chest while screaming "I want out" (My heart is a tid bit melodramatic) and I can hear little minions drumming in my ears.

Nick's face is a real spectacle of emotions and I know the moment realization hits, it's when his face goes livid and his eyes widen traveling back and forth between my face and my womb. I put my hand protectively on my belly, unsure of what to do or say to make this situation less awkward…I mean, this word doesn't cover half of what it's like.

"Bud" Kelly hooks her arm under Bud's as she directs him towards the kitchen "What was it again you were telling me earlier about Zucchini bread?"

"Oh, it's…" their voices fade in the hallway, while Nick and I are still standing and facing each other in the living room.

"Are you having a syncope? You look really pale"

Nick's face goes from pale to red all of a sudden and his breathing becomes ragged, panic washes over me in a split second. If I thought I was a nervous wreck two seconds ago, now I feel like running away as far away from here as possible. This guy is a second away from turning Hulk on me. I should have applied for this kick boxing course that Cynthia told me about. Then again, I don't think I can take Nick down if he comes after me…Wait, he won't kill me, would he? Oh God, he's a detective, I'm sure he'd recite the guide of how to get away with murder in his sleep.

Would my mom cry? Of course she would…She'd shed some crocodile tears. I wonder if Harrison would agree to give a speech at my funeral. Oh, I have this fantastic white dress that makes me look absolutely stunning, I'll make sure I'm buried in it…Stop being unrealistic Adalind. I want to laugh at my ridiculous imagination; of course Nick won't hurt me.

"What's so funny?" Nick glares

Shoot, I always get lost in my mental babble "Nothing,…The muscles on my face block sometimes…it's like…like when you do Botox injection…So, yeah, that wasn't a smile at all"

"You were laughing" he deadpans

Can't he be polite and just ignore me? Oh, right, I have just told him he's about to father my baby. I'm sure politeness is the last thing on his mind.

"It's Tourette's" I lie

Nick slumbers on the couch and holds his face in his hands, I sit beside him on the couch not sure of how to proceed with this. We remain silent for what feels like forever until I decide I've had enough. We need to get this done with. I muster what little courage I have left and speak "Look, I don't expect anything from you, I can take care of my son…"

"Our son" he cuts me off "Based on what you've said, it's not just yours, he's mine too" Nick's eyes are drilling holes in my face and on second thought, it was a bad idea to sit this close to him. In one swift movement, he could strangle me. He scrutinizes my face with angry eyes "Were you ever planning on telling me? I mean, if my mom hadn't forced you to, because it's obvious she's the one who convinced you" I don't miss the bite in his words. He's upset. Is it because he doesn't want to be a father or is it because I hid it from him? Unfortunately, it doesn't take me long to have the answer.

"I don't know" I'm too embarrassed to meet his eyes. Seeing my pursed lips and my uncomfortable stance, Nick jumps to his feet and starts pacing angrily in the living room, repeatedly running his hand in his hair.

When he finally stops, he spits poisonous words that I wish I had never heard "You know, Adalidn, of all the bad things you've done in the past, hiding this from me comes on top of the list" I see so much anger, so much disappointment in his eyes, that I'd rather be six feet under ground, than here carrying the weight of his hatred "I don't think I'll ever forgive you this"

As he turns on his heels and slams the door, his words resonate in my head _I don't think I'll ever forgive you this_ …As much as I'd like to say I don't care, I can't. My mistakes will always have a direct impact on my children. I married the wrong man and he ended up stealing my baby girl from me. Then I hurt the wrong person and he feels hatred toward me. This man is my baby's father; I don't want our son to live in a world where his parents despise each other.

"Hey" Kelly rubs my back tenderly while I'm immobile on the couch, completely numb to my surroundings, falling in a never ending spiral "He needs time…He'll get over it, I promise" she gets to her feet and mutters "I'm going to check on him. I'll talk to you later"

The distance to my bed stretches with each step I take. Is it just me or there's at least a mile left for me to reach my bed? I throttle slowly inside, close the door and trade my dress with a night gown. It takes a while before I can finally close my eyes.

The following day, I decide to work from home. With me feeling down in the dump, I'm not in the mood to see people, or day light…this is officially a zombie day for me. Even Bud's non-stop tirade about Donatello, his son's turtle couldn't take my mind away from yesterday's conversation with Nick.

Somebody knocks on the door, making Bud immediately alert. He stares through the peephole, then asks me to do the same. I sigh in relief when I recognize my guest. I assure Bud she's safe and fling the door open. The instant Rosalee steps inside the house I jump in her arms, desperate for my friend's comforting touch.

She hugs me tightly and strokes my back soothingly "Oh, Addy, I was so worried when I got your text…Are you ok?" she takes a step back to inspect me and frowns at the sight of my bandaged arm.

"It's fine" I sniff while fighting tears "It's just a scratch, it doesn't even hurt"

Rosalee is the only person I can cry to and with whom I can share my despair without feeling weak. We sit on the couch and I put my head on her shoulder as she caresses my hair while I tell her about the accident and the possible involvement of my ex husband.

"Monroe wanted to come too, but his best friend is having a rough time" she looks at me apologetically

"It's ok" I force a smile on my face, then start fidgeting with my white tunic "Rosalee?"

"Yes?" her brows are furrowed

I sigh, unsure how to put my dark thoughts into words "I saw my son's father yesterday" I dare not meet her eyes "He didn't know I was expecting his child" I hear Rosalee's gasp, but I carry on "He says he won't ever forgive me…I feel terrible…Oh my God…I'm an awful person" an overwhelming hurt knotting my stomach and pulling at my heart

Rosalee wipes my tears away "Shuttt" she grabs my face in both hands and forces me to look at her "You are just a human, Adalind and humans make mistakes, but what you do to correct your mistakes is what will determine whether you're a good or a bad person"

I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my shirt and nod

"Telling him was the right thing to do. I'm glad you made that decision" she smiles proudly at me

After a short mental debate, I decide to confess another ugly truth to Rosalee "Actually, it wasn't my decision. His mom forced me to tell him. Can I fall in the good person category anyway?" I ask hopefully

Rosalee laughs wholeheartedly and gives me a tight hug

"So, want to tell me about him?" She brushes a strand of hair behind my ear and smiles tenderly at me. Rosalee never forces me to tell her anything, but talking to her is really easy. I never feel judged by her.

"Not much to say" I sigh "I've known him for years now and saying our relationship is bad is an understatement…I dated his partner some time to extirpate information from him and he's never forgiven me that"

"Partner?" Rosalee wonders

"He's a detective in Portland police" I explain

"Then our friend Monroe and I must know him" her tone is cheerful "So, you went from Sean the villain to…errr…what's his name by the way?"

Rosalee's phone puts our conversation on hold. After she hangs up, she excuses herself. Apparently, products she purchased were delivered to the spice shop, so she needs to go back to work. We say goodbye reluctantly and she makes me promise to stop by her house later for dinner.

After my friend leaves, I try to concentrate on my work and I'm glad to realize how fast time passes without my mind reeling over the mess that my life has become. My phone buzzes and I retrieve it from my jeans pocket, only to feel blood rushing to my ears once I see the caller's ID.

"What do you want?" I spit vehemently

"That was just a warning, Love" Sean's voice is honey sweet, you wouldn't believe that's the same man who sent a guy to kill me

"Trying to kill me was just a warning?" I ask incredulously

His laughter reverberate over the phone "If I wanted you dead, you'd already be six feet under, Sweety"

"Leave me alone, Sean" I grit my teeth together until my jaw hurts. This man disgusts me. Whenever I hear his voice, all the pain he's put me through rises to the surface and scratches my skin like millions of needles planted on my epidermis.

"Who is it?" his voice turns icy

"None of your business" same old answer

His breaths come short and ragged over the phone "I'll discover who he is, I'll hunt him down like an animal and when I'm done with him, he'll regret ever approaching you" his tone is low and menacing. My whole body's shaking

"Oh, by the way, Diana says she hates you"

Bip bip bip

Bile rises to my throat and I hurry to the bathroom, hoping to make it on time to the toilet. Tears sting in my eyes as I proceed to empty my churning stomach. Bud hurries to the toilet and holds my hair for me while I throw up, just like your best friend would do when you were sixteen years old and got drunk at a party. When I'm finally done, I lie on the tiled floor and wait for the pain to ease. Bud asks me if he should call a doctor but I assure him it's not necessary.

An hour or so later, I decide to move from the floor and get ready to head to Rosalee's house. Having dinner doesn't enchant me at all, the mere idea of food makes me want to go back to the toilet. But, seeing my friend and her husband always helps boost my spirit higher. After a quick shower and brushing my teeth three times to get rid of the terrible taste of my own vomit, I wear a black dress and flats.

Agent Morales tails my car with his to make sure I arrive safely to my friends' place. Once there, Monroe welcomes me with a bear hug and apologies for not being able to visit me.

"He has just discovered this mind blowing news and he really needed me by his side" He refers to his best friend as he directs me to the kitchen where Rosalee is cooking dinner. Although the smell of food makes my stomach churn, I'm happy to see I can resist the urge to throw up.

"Hey" Rosalee hugs me affectionately "You ok? You look pale" her eyes roam over my face worriedly.

"Just tired" I decide not to burden her with my problems. Maybe if I pretend to have a normal life, I can forget about my problems, at least for one night.

She directs me to a chair "Have a seat" she pours water in a glass and hands it to me "The friend I told you about is coming over, too…Hope you don't mind"

"Not at all"

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I hear the door bell followed by male voices talking animatedly. I guess Monroe's friend is already here. Looks like I have a sorrow companion, glad to see I'm not the only person drowning in misery…That's totally sarcasm…Honestly, I wanted a cheerful night, not to throw a self pity party instead. The voices get closer, so I stand up, ready to greet this anonymous face I've already heard so much about, little did I know, it wasn't an unfamiliar one.

Piercing green eyes stare back in shock at my ocean blue ones, his horrified expression must be the reflection of my own. How is that even possible?

"Nick!" "Adalind!" we say at the same time

Monroe and Rosalee stare back and forth, realization hitting them hard. I think I'm sick. A striking pain curses through me then I feel it…a hot liquid spilling out of me. My eyes drop to the floor, only to discover scarlet drops traveling from my legs to the white tiles. This is not happening…No, please, No…

"NO" I shriek right before everything goes dark around me


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: THANK YOU for boosting my creativity with your encouraging feedback :) I'm really excited to share more chapters with you and I'm always extatic to read your comments :D**

 **Enjoy**

Chapter 07 : Old news, bad news

My eyelids are so heavy that I'm having a hard time opening my eyes. I'm still in this weird place situated between sleep and awakening. The background noise stirs me slowly from my sleep to help me come back to the real world. I feel dizzy and my vision is still blurry when I finally open my eyes. As soon as I take in my surroundings, an alarm triggers inside of me. I try to stand on my hospital bed, but I realize it's a bad idea, as my skull starts throbbing.

"Adalind" Rosalee hurries to my side and helps me lie back "You need to be careful" she scolds

"My baby" I enunciate each word with much difficulty given how heavy my tongue weighs in my mouth "What…happened?"

She sits on the bed beside me and her eyes turn sad "Your bleeding was due to stress and fatigue...the…the baby isn't moving, Adalind…There's a high risk of miscarriage"

My heart skips a beat as my lungs combust in my chest, a lump forms in my throat and I want to crawl under the sheets and cry out my agony. I don't want to lose my baby. I refuse for this to happen. Rosalee squeezes my hand hard, but I pull it away "It's my fault…It's all my fault…I shouldn't let Sean get to me…" I whisper between sobs

Tears well in Rosalee's eyes "Addy, it's not your fault, if there's anybody to blame, it's Sean for putting you under so much pressure and pain"

I shake my head frantically as I drown some more in the magma of sorrow that's been inviting me in for a long time. I feel trapped in a life I have no control over. I ignore Rosalee's pleading eyes, as I face the window on my right.

The faint sound of the door clicking doesn't faze me, I hear barely audible steps advancing toward my bed, then Rosalee's voice breaks the painful silence in the room "I'm going to get some coffee. Do you guys need anything?"

"Thanks, Rose, we're fine" Nick's voice resonates in the room. He's the last person I want to see right now. What is he doing here in the first place? I keep my gaze fixed to the window, as Kelly speaks "Rosalee says Sean is still harassing you. Why didn't you say anything?" her tone is worried rather than reprimanding.

My heart cracks, as I fight the tears pooling in my eyes, I've done enough crying as it is. I'll blame hormones for that "I was afraid to lose what little contact I had with my daughter" I admit. If I told the bureau, Sean would stop calling altogether and as much as I hate the sound of his voice, he's the only connection I have with my daughter.

Kelly shakes her head "When was the last time he spoke to you?"

"Tonight"

"What did he want?" she carries on with the interrogation

My eyes move finally from the window to land on Nick's undeterred expression. His arms are folded over his chest, while he's lying against the wall. Under the dim light of the room, I can't really identify any emotion on his face as he orders in a steady voice "You'd better answer, because I'm not moving from here"

Geez, this man is such a pain in the neck

"He wants to know the identity of the father" I stare at Kelly "In order to finish him"

Kelly's face is emotionless; it's almost as if she expected this revelation. Guess after working for so long on the BC case, she's become acquainted with their mindset and methods.

Kelly starts typing on her cell phone as she walks toward the door "I need to make few phone calls, I'll see you later"

Finding myself alone with Nick in this hospital room makes me very uncomfortable. I have no idea what to expect, so I go back to admiring the dark night through the window "Did seeing me tonight, stress you out?"

His question and the guilt that it carried take me aback, as I meet Nick's gaze again, I see remorse contorting his beautiful face as he heads slowly toward that very window I was admiring "I…It surprised me"

He nods, as if to convince himself that surprise is better than stress "So, you know Rosalee!"

I nod "And you're Monroe's best friend!"

"Yeah…sometimes, the World feels like a tiny district" he shrugs, tucking his hands in his pockets and shifting nervously on his legs "Do you think the baby's going to be ok?"

"I don't…Ow…Owch…Wow" the baby starts kicking me so hard that I think I might have peed in my panties…If I'm still wearing any under that ugly hospital gown. I hold my belly and feel my baby's fist…it's like he wanted to answer his father's question…I want to cry and laugh all at once. Nick rushes to my side, face livid "You ok? I'll call the doctor"

"Don't" I grab his hand to stop him from walking away "I'm more that ok" I smile happily at him "He's kicking…He's so strong…Oh my God, he definitely took the Burkhardt gene"

Nick remains immobile, eyes glued to my belly

"It's a boy" I smile proudly "Want to feel it?"

Nick seems completely out of place and unsure of what to say or do, so I place his hand delicately on my belly and wait for our baby to say Hi "Why isn't he moving anymore?"

"I don't know…Oh here" I move his hand to where the baby's kicking and Nick's face enlighten in fascination

"He's moving" I've never seen Nick so excited before. It is a good expression on his face. Right now, he's got that boyish vibe about him. Not the badass detective I'm used to. We remain like that for few minutes, until it's time for him to leave.

"Sorry to interrupt you, but she needs to rest" the nurse says apologetically

Nick gets to his feet immediately, as if waking up from a dream "Alright, Umm…Rosalee is picking you tomorrow at nine…Have a good night"

"You too"

As I lay my head on the pillow, a smile spreads across my face and I feel the lightest I've ever been in a while. Everything is going to be fine…at least as fine as it could be in Adalind's life

%%%

"Alright, so remember" Rosalee repeats for the umpteenth time since I was discharged from the hospital "You need to rest, avoid anything stressful, eat properly, have enough sleep and if Sean calls…"

"Call Kelly" I finish for her as I roll my eyes "Can I get out of the car now?"

Rosalee sighs "Fine, I'm calling you later; you'd better pick the phone"

Bud is waiting for me at the door, anxious and eager to see me. Since I got pregnant with Nick's baby, I went from a lonely workaholic to a person surrounded by friends and people who care for her. I'm afraid to get used to that, then be denied any kind of happiness afterwards…Just like it happened to me after I got Diana. She never deserts my mind and there's always a stinging pain in my chest when I think of her.

"Miss Schade, are you feeling better?" He follows me inside the house

"Call me Adalind and yes, I'm feeling great" I smile reassuringly at him

"Here" he blushes as he hands me a basket "My wife made lentils soup for you, she says it's good during the pregnancy…I told her you weren't eating much lately, except for her apple-pie, so there's apple-pie as well"

Bud carries on making me realize how much I missed this new routine, I put the basket on the kitchen counter and turn around to give him a tight hug, taking him completely by surprise. I place a kiss on his cheek "Thank you, Bud"

"Errr…Yeah, Sssure…" his face has just turned crimson red and it's really funny to see him losing his composure so easily.

In my room, I send an email to Harrison asking for a medical leave. He calls me immediately after that, checking on me and assuring me that I could take as much time as I need to, as long as I'm taking care of myself.

After a quick shower and changing in more comfortable clothes, I decide to call my mom and confide in her. She's my mother, even though she hasn't called once for the past few weeks, she deserves to know what happens in my life. She replies after the third ring, her voice cold and condescending.

"Adalind"

"Hi Mom…How are you?" I say softly, trying to ignore the pain inflicted by her coldness. I should be used to it by now. My mom is not exactly what one would consider a good parent.

"Good, if you could just hurry and tell me what you want because I need to catch a flight in few minutes only" I can imagine her tapping her heels on the floor impatiently

"You're leaving?" I can't help the surprise in my tone

"Yeah, I want to visit your aunt Ilda in Berlin, then I'll probably do a small tour of Europe. So, what is it that you want?"

See! This is exactly what I meant.

"Nothing important" I bite my quivering lip "Have a safe trip and send my love to Aunt Ilda"

"I will"

She hangs up, before I can say goodbye. I stare at the blank screen of my phone, then remind myself it's my first day of a stress-free life. It's going to be just like rehab. Difficult at the beginning, possible relapse, then it gets better in time.

Male voices chatting in the kitchen stir me from my thoughts, I walk warily over there and that's when I see Nick removing food from two big grocery bags and storing them in my kitchen with Bud's help.

"Mi casa es su casa" I bark sarcastically as I cross my arms over my chest and raise an eyebrow at Nick, trying desperately to ignore the muscles flexing under his short sleeves shirt "Shouldn't you wear a pull over or something, it's freezing outside"

"Your house is as heated as a sauna" he keeps working in my kitchen, not staring at me once

Bud nods in agreement "Told her"

I roll my eyes (bad habit, I know) as I sit on the stool across from them "What are you doing here?"

Bud stares at me incredulously "I was assigned to you, remember? Oh, you were speaking to Nick…Of course…"

"Making sure my son's healthy" he places Bananas and apples in a fruit basket, then at least five bottles of non fat milk in the fridge and is that green thing Broccoli?

"Errr…I hate broccoli"

"Broccoli is packed with nutrients that are necessary for a healthy pregnancy, such as calcium and folate, and it's rich in fiber and disease-fighting antioxidants. And since it contains plenty of vitamin C, it will help your body absorb iron when it's eaten with an iron-rich food, such as whole wheat pasta or brown rice"

"Thank you for the information Dr Oz, but hasn't anybody told you not to believe all the crap you read on the internet"

"Bud's wife gave me some tips as well" he winks "So, you can starve yourself all you want after the baby's born, I don't give a damn, but for now you'll eat, sleep and be happy for the sake of my son" does Nick Burkhardt ever smile?

"This is a stress-free zone, Mister" I glare at him "You leave all your negative vibes at the door the moment you step in"

He places a bowl of cereals and a cup of milk on the kitchen counter and stares at me expectantly.

"What's this?"

"We call this breakfast" he articulates like I'm a three year old

I narrow my eyes at him "It's ten thirty in the morning, shouldn't you go after some villains or send Lex Luthor to jail?"

He lies against the fridge and crosses his arms over his chest "It's my day off, now eat"

"I hate you" I mutter under my breath

"Likewise"

His phone rings, sparing me his scrutinizing eyes for few minutes, or not "I'm watching you" he mutters while he covers his phone

"Hey Trouble" Nick can smile. Not just a regular toothy smile, he's got one if those smiles that have women fanning themselves…not that I'll ever be one of those women…it's Nick for God's sake

"Oh, yeah? That's great…Easter? Cool, can't wait to see you again…Yeah, I miss you too" then he hangs up

"New girlfriend?" I have no idea why I'm asking

He takes the seat beside me and starts fidgeting with his phone "Sister"

"Why do you call her Trouble?"

"Have you always been this curious?" he raises an eyebrow at me

"Yeah, it's a health condition"

Nick shakes his head with a smile "Theresa is almost ten years younger than me and when she was a little girl, she was a real trouble maker…So, I gave her this nickname"

"So, is she following the Burkhardt's footsteps to join law enforcement?" I'm very curious about Nick's sister. I wonder what she's like

He smiles proudly, you can tell he really loves her "She's finishing her training in Quantico"

"Quantico! Wow, you're a family of super heroes"

"Yeah, we're that awesome" he winks. So Nick can be playful, this is a side of him I didn't know.

He checks his watch, then gets up quickly grabbing his jacket and keys in the process "I've got to go, make sure to finish your breakfast and there's Phoebe's soup for lunch, don't skip any meals, Bud will report to me"

"Understood, mommy"

"Good girl"

How exactly am I supposed to stay home doing nothing? I have no idea what's it like to be lazing around. My whole life was a set of objectives I had to work hard to reach and now I'm asked to just sit around and play house. I go to my book shelve in the living room and look for something that's unrelated to law, after few seconds scanning the titles on the stacks of books lined on the shelves, I finally find a science-fiction book I started a while ago, but never got time to finish. Well, here's my chance then.

During the weeks that follow, I develop a new routine. Nick drops by every morning to make sure I eat breakfast and my fridge is stuffed. Rosalee calls every day and try to visit at least every second day. Bud's wife sends me pies every week. Kelly checks in once a week and not a single call from my mom or Sean. Before I know it, it's already Easter and I'm almost eight months pregnant.

"Dinner will be served at 7" Rosalee reminds me for the millionth time "Don't be late"

"I won't" I hold the phone between my shoulder and my ear, as I try to find something that fits for tonight. I settle for a baby blue dress that's ample enough to hide my tremendous belly and decide to let my hair down, except for a tiny blue barrette to hold my bangs.

"Ok, see you tonight then" she says excitedly

The full SWAT team will be there tonight; Nick, his sister (whom I'm excited to meet), Kelly, me and our dear hosts Monroe and Rose. I put the burnt cake I made earlier in a bag and I will totally blame the result on the baby's kicks…He's still inside and he can't deny it…Sorry baby boy, the absent are always in the wrong.

I could swear he's just kicked me

"Hey" Rosalee hugs me tightly when I get there. Apparently, I'm the last to arrive because I can hear noise and laughter emanating from the living room. Monroe takes my jacket and directs me to join the rest of the guests. Nick is the first one that I notice, looking absolutely stunning in black slacks and a white button down that fits perfectly. Then Kelly is the second one into view, she's wearing a dark suit and silky cream shirt, she's completely oblivious to my presence as she speaks animatedly on the phone, then there's a gorgeous brunette, with short black hair and fair skin. Her eyes are big and overflow with intelligence. She's tall and slender, but she's hiding it behind a boyish outfit. In the way she looks at her older brother, you can tell she wants to be just like him, probably following his path.

"Hi everyone" I greet, then extend my hand to Nick's sister "I'm Adalind, you must Theresa"

"Nick's baby mama!" she exclaims nonchalantly as she shakes my hand "Call me Trouble"

I take a seat beside her "Cool name, so Nick tells me you're training in Quantico"

She nods and concentrates on her phone

"My friend Martin is an instructor there"

Her head snaps in my direction in a nanosecond, interest written all over her face "You know Meisner" I guess Meisner will be our icebreaker

I nod "Yeah, he's a good friend"

"Good friend, as in…?" she lets the end of her question hanging in the air, pretending to scan her shirt. Interesting!

"As in just a friend" I reassure her

"What are you talking about?" Nick joins us on the couch and messes his sister's hair, in a teasing way

She grabs his hand and shoves it behind his back "Meisner"

He easily breaks free with a huge smile "Who's that?"

"A God at the academy. This guy is amazing and your friend knows him" she gestures to me, regarding me with new eyes.

Kelly is still engrossed in her phone conversation, not paying attention to us

"You do?" Nick lifts his eyebrows in surprise

"Yep" I nod "I met him back when I worked at the DA's office"

Rosalee and Monroe appear in the living/dinning room all smiles and happy, as they direct us to the wonderfully decorated table, but before we sit, Kelly hangs up the phone and turns to us…or me, more precisely. I know it's bad news the second I see her worried expression.

"Looks like Sean is back"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This chapter was emotionally hard to write. Hope you'll like it and again THANK YOU for your feedback, it's what encourages me to always do my best to update quickly :)**

 **Also, for the second part of the chapter which comes after the %%%, I was listening to Santa Monica Dream by Angus and Julia Stone as I wrote it. It's a nice background music, you could listen to it while you read if you want to**

 **Enjoy**

Chapter 08 : A life for a life

They say that a hero is this person who, in the face of danger, fights adversity showing bravery and strength, often sacrificing their personal concerns for a greater good. They are the perfect symbol of abnegation and altruism. Heroes are very few and often die at an early age, leaving behind the immortal ghost of their accomplishments.

As long as I'll live, Kelly Burkhardt will always be my hero

"Theresa, you're going back to Quantico first thing in the morning" Kelly orders her daughter "I'm sending a car for you"

"Mom" Trouble tries to argue but Kelly, is not taking no for an answer. She places her hands on her daughter's shoulders as she plunges her fierce dark eyes in Trouble's sad ones "I'm not taking any chance with you, Baby…We're BC's target now"

Noticing my shaking legs, Rosalee runs to my side and helps me sit on a chair, while a thunderstorm breaks slowly inside of me. Because of me, this whole family is in danger. I'm a ticking bomb ready to blow and erase everything on her passage at any moment and Sean is the one holding the detonator.

"Nick, for now, I need you to stay away from your house. This is the first place where they'll go looking for you. The bureau is going to need your help, though…We've got a plan and we need to act fast"

Kelly takes slow strides in my direction, then sits beside me "Hey, she tucks a strand of hair behind my ear" I lift my wet eyes to look at her kind smile "I won't let anybody hurt my family and you're family now, Ok?"

I nod slowly, no sound willing to escape my throat

During the weeks that follow, the security around my house is doubled and I'm not allowed to leave the house, except to go to my obstetric check up that Nick never misses. Today is one of those prison-free days, Nick is driving me to doctor Jones' office for my monthly appointment.

The weather is amazing, the sun is shining above us, while the trees that line up the road bow before us displaying beautiful green leafs. If Sean is back to Portland, he hasn't tried to reach me once and I can't call him either, because he's always used a secured line to get in touch. I haven't spoken to my daughter since Christmas and each day her absence drills a deeper hole in my broken heart.

Nick brings the car to a stop and we both walk in silence toward the office. As soon as she sees us, the receptionist directs us inside with her usual smile "Dr Jones is waiting for you"

"You can stay here" I gesture to the waiting room "I mean, she'll probably check me up…you know" I feel a blush staining my cheeks

He raises an eyebrow with a perplexed expression "Are you being shy?"

"No" I defend myself quickly too embarrassed to admit that yes, I don't want him to see what's going on in South Adalind.

"Good, because I've seen it all before and I have a good memory" he winks and it takes everything in me not to punch his smug smile off his face.

"Miss Schade, Mr Burkhardt" Dr Jones greets us "Come-on in"

I put my hand on Nick's rock hard chest to keep him from following me "He's staying in the waiting room"

Nick glares at me unhappily and I stick out my tongue as I follow Dr Jones. We go though our usual examination then when it's over, I sit across from her at her desk.

"I'm glad to see you in a good shape" she starts, her hands folded on the desk "Obviously, you're taking better care of yourself and the baby, however…" she stares at my folder then back at me "Your cervix is open, it means that you might have the baby at any moment"

My heart starts hammering against my chest, I have three weeks to go. The baby needs to wait

"There's nothing to worry about, Adalind. The baby's fine and there are plenty of women who give birth after eight months only, but of course, it would be much better if the little guy here could stay in his momma's womb longer…So, here are my instruction…"

I listen carefully to her while she writes down everything I must or must not do. When I finally join Nick in the waiting room, he's eager to hear what the doctor said. I hide the part regarding the open cervix as I don't want to add on to his worries. He's got enough on his mind and I will do my possible to hold the baby longer.

Later that night, Kelly pays me a surprise visit. The instant I see her dark curls and chocolate brown eyes a sentiment of relief washes over me. I haven't seen her since Easter and I've been worried about her this whole time.

"Kelly" I give her a quick hug when she enters the house "Bud made pasta for dinner, would you like some?" I ask eagerly. Bud is a great cook, he promised to give me classes.

Kelly sits on the couch and pats the spot beside her "I need to talk to you, it won't take long"

Reluctantly, I sit down, not sure I want to hear what she has to say. As I inspect her face closely, I see utter sadness and sorrow. I swallow hard as fear crawls in my skin, making it itchy. Unconsciously, I start scratching my arm until it hurts, Kelly grabs my hand and keeps it in hers "You'll have to get rid of that bad habit, Adalind. You'll end up hurting yourself"

"Is everything ok?" I ask slowly, scared to hear the answer

She nods "Everything is fine, I came here to see you and to tell you that the bureau is ready to act. We've been luring BC for few weeks now. Nick accepted to be our bait, so he enters and leaves his house as usual, while we keep men monitoring the perimeter. According to our informant, Sean will probably act tomorrow night and we'll be there to catch him" she squeezes my hand "It's almost over, Adalind"

If so, why doesn't it feel good? Deep down, I know it will never be over. All that is going to happen, is add more casualties. BC is a deadly virus that spreads faster than cholera.

Kelly removes a white envelope from her bag and hands it to me "I want you to keep this for me…don't open it before it's time"

"You'll be ok, right?" tears are pooling in my eyes, as I search for answers on her face. She grabs my face with both hands and places her forehead against mine "Goodbye, Adalind" she says in a choked voice

"Wait" I say as she starts to walk away "When should I open it?"

She smiles tenderly at me "You'll figure it out"

My eyes follow her to the door and even when she's left, I'm still watching that path she has just walked through, wondering if I'll ever get to see her again. Slowly, I stand from the couch and put the envelope in my nightstand drawer.

Needles to say, I didn't do much sleeping that night

Next day, Monroe and Rosalee decide to stay with me and Bud, waiting anxiously for the outcome of the night. None of us feels like talking or eating. Fear has knotted our tongues and clogged our throats. I don't see much of Nick either and it only worries me more. The clock ticks much slower than it usually does, every minute feels like an hour.

"Should I call them?" I ask for the umpteenth time

Bud shakes his head and gives me the answer he's been giving me for the past forty minutes "Never call an agent on a mission" before he finishes his sentence, his phone rings "Hank? What!...Shit"

"What is it, Bud?" we all assault the police agent while he's still on the phone

"Alright! Yeah, sure" once he finally hangs up he turns to us "It was Hank, Nick's partner"

"Is Nick ok?" I feel my heart about to explode

Bud nods "Yeah, but…it was a trap, the informant was working for BC. Kelly Burkhardt was shot. They took her St John's hospital"

"Let's go" Monroe jumps to his feet

Everybody is in motion while I stay rooted in place, unable to absorb this information. No, not Kelly. It's like I'm in a daze, images of her from the moment we met assault my brain, parading one after the other. Every time she was the mother I wish I had. Every time she took me in her arms and said it was ok to cry, each time she smiled at me and told me I was stronger that I gave myself credit.

Sometimes emotional pain turns into physical one. I feel weird and uncomfortable all of a sudden, but I don't have time to analyze this as Bud ushers me to his car while Monroe and Rosalee start theirs. The way to the hospital is the longest drive I've had. The pain getting stronger, but I decide to keep it in the back of my head.

Once we get to St John's, walking is almost impossible. I try to move as best I can, but it's of no use, my legs refuse to obey. Bud, Rosalee and Monroe run inside, too stressed out to notice my condition.

"Madame, are you ok?" A nurse rushes to me

"Yeah, It's just…Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" a striking pain travels down my body. The nurse gets a wheelchair and helps me get seated.

"We have a woman in labor" she shouts as she pushes me in the hallway

My heart hammers against my chest, it's too soon "Wait…wait, please…I…I need to see the father of the baby…He's here…his mother was admitted here"

"Madame, your water just broke, we have no time"

"Please, I'm begging you"

"Adalind" Bud's familiar voice echoes in the hallway "Adalind, I was looking for you. Oh my God, you've having the baby…I'm calling Nick"

I grab his hand before he dials Nick's number "How's Kelly?"

He shakes his head "The surgeon told Nick the internal bleeding was impossible to stop and the bullet attacked her vital organs. She's not surviving the night"

My heart is shattered in a million pieces as I collapse in the wheelchair, my tears turn into sobs, followed by the unsupportable pain in my body. Doctors rush to me and place me on a bed, they immediately cover me in wires. I hear a doctor mention an emergency C-section, before I faint.

When I wake up, Rosalee is sitting in the plush chair in front of my bed. At first I'm disoriented, then my memory catches up with me.

I panic "How's the baby?"

She hurries to me "He's fine. A little small, but very healthy and handsome"

I lay my head back on the pillow, relief replaced by deep sadness and sorrow "And Nick?"

"He was here a minute ago to check on you…He's…devastated"

"Kelly is…" I'm afraid to finish my sentence

Rosalee shakes her head "No, she's still conscious, but not for too long"

"Take me to her" I start to move from the bed, but Rosalee stops me "What! Are you crazy?"

"Rosalee, I'm going to see her and if I have to crawl to her room, then so be it"

Understanding the seriousness of my threat, Rosalee convinces a nurse to let me see Kelly, my friend helps me sit on a wheelchair and the nurse brings me my son like I demanded. He's a handsome little boy. The moment I bring him to my chest, an explosion of emotions blows inside my heart. Somehow, he brought beauty to a chaotic night.

As I enter Kelly's hospital room, I see her lying on that bed, wires on every part of her body, machines indicating her heart is still beating. A pump inflating and deflating to indicate she's still breathing. A tremendous tube goes from her mouth to I don't know where. She looks so vulnerable, so weak…Like I've never seen her before. My whole body shakes at her sight. Then I see Nick, sitting beside her, bringing her hand to his mouth, red puffy eyes following each movement she makes.

Rosalee pushes me some more, until I'm in front of Nick, on the other side of the bed. Kelly's eyes stare at me with a mix of sadness and relief "Hey" I choke on my words as tears streak down my face "Want to meet your grandson?" I lift the baby a little so that she can see him. A small smile spreads on her lips "I thought of a name for him" I try to wipe my nose and my eyes but it's stupid, because more floods are coming. Nick's grieving eyes land on me, probably wondering why I'm giving our baby a name without asking for his opinion.

I force a smile on my face as Kelly stares adoringly at the baby "Granny, this is Kelly Schade Burkhardt" a life for a life, I think sadly to myself as the baby wiggles in my arms. One has just arrived to this world, while the other is ready to leave. This is the first and last time they will see each other. I'm proud to call my son after a woman whose greatness was beyond what our world could handle.

Tears slip from her eyes as she admires the baby for one more second, before closing her eyes and smiling one last time. One more tear falls from her eye then she's gone.

Nick collapses on his mother's hospital bed and cries his loss

%%%

There are some funerals that stay burnt in your memory forever, with the pain and sorrow they represent, those funerals are beautiful in a certain way. Kelly's was one of those. A long line of black cars parading in the commentary, before stopping in synchrony allowing people to get out one by one. Six agents in uniform carried the coffin covered with the American flag and walked gracefully toward the graveyard.

After they deposited the coffin in the chosen spot for Kelly's grave, all officers saluted in unison, followed by fire pipes and drum corps. Each one of us deposited a flower on her coffin and said goodbye.

Our black outfits were a perfect contrast with the beautiful sun shining above us, no matter how somber a day it was. Nick held his sister tightly in his arms as she collapsed in front of her mom's coffin, crying over and over "Why? Why? Why?"

The red petals of the rose I placed on Kelly's coffin were the exact same color as the drops leaking from my bleeding heart.

I watch people presenting their condolences to Nick and Theresa, telling them what an amazing woman their mother was. How well did they really know her? Did know she spent the past years trying to stop an organization that was coming after all of them? Did they know that she called me every day after my daughter was taken from me to make sure I was alright? Did they know that she paid me at least one visit a month to see with her eyes that I was fine? Did they know that she always sent me a card for my birthday since we met?

Today, I'm burying the mother I wish I had

I hold tightly baby Kelly against my chest as I signal for Bud, he nods and leads the way to the car. I'm spending one last night at my apartment before moving in with Nick. Now that the baby's here, we want to be both present for him, until we figure out what to do. Besides, Nick says he'd rather have us under his sight.

In my bedroom, I sit on the edge of my bed as I remove the immaculate envelope from my nightstand drawer. As I flip it, I read my name on it.

 _Adalind Schade_

 _My dear Adalind,_

 _If you are reading this letter, then I'm no more_

 _I wish I could live enough to see my grandchild and tell him that I loved him the very day you told me about him._

 _Nick is a good man and I trust him to be a good father. Losing me is going to be very hard on him, but the baby and you will find a way to bring back light into his life. I'm sorry to put such a burden on your shoulders, but please watch after my son._

 _Theresa might appear to be strong on the outside, but she's a very sensitive woman who thinks that she must not show any signs of weakness. She might come out as abrasive sometimes, but I know she's always wished to have a big sister. Would you be there for her too, please?_

 _Finally, I would like to thank you Adalind, for showing me that sacrificing your life for your beloved ones is a beautiful way to go._

 _I'm happy you entered my life and my son's_

 _Love,_

 _Kelly_

Folding the letter, I lay my head on the pillow and cry until I have no more energy and sleep takes over, allowing me few hours of unconsciousness. It's the sound of my ringtone that awakens me few hours later.

"Adalind? It's Martin Meisner"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N : I'm really sorry for the delay. Too much to do at work :( Thanks for your great comments and enthusiasm :D**

 **Desculpe o atraso y muito obrigada pelos comentarios :D**

 **Enjoy**

Chapter 09 : Room-mates

As Nick places baby Kelly in the car seat, I stare one last time at this house I've lived in for years, a place that never felt like home. If I had to describe it in one word, I'd say it was just my hotel, I slept here every night then spent the rest of the time drowning my sorrow at work. Weird how I don't feel an ounce of sadness from abandoning it. Is it because it doesn't hold any good memories, or moments of happiness? Or is it because my heart is numb after all the pain life has put it through?

I've decided to put it on sale, along with the furniture, except for personal belongings, nothing in it has any emotional value.

Nick takes my bag from my hand and puts in his car trunk, during the ride to his house, both of us remain silent. I have no idea what to say or do to make him feel better. There are plenty of books out there about grieving, but I know for a fact that no guide will ever relieve the pain you endure from the loss of someone you love. Diana might not be dead, but being denied from being with her is equally painful.

Guilt is eating me from the inside, I can't help but think that none of this would have happened if I wasn't involved with a truant in the first place. Diana and Kelly paid the price of my mistakes. The realization cuts deeper than razor blades. How can I live with a men whose mother died protecting me? Will he ever forgive me?

If in the past our relationship was chaotic, now it escalated to a whole new level. I dated Nick's partner Hank to steal information from him, then after a crazy night with Nick I was pregnant with his baby and planned to hide it from him and now I'm moving in with him after his mother was killed by the criminal organization my ex husband works for…Yeah, doubt he'll ever regard me as anything but bad news.

"I'll get Kelly and your bags" Nick says without looking at me. I guess seeing my face, the source of all his sadness, is way too much. Slowly, I hop out of the car and walk toward the door. I'm still hurting from the C-section which is why I can't walk as fast as I would normally. As soon as I reach the door, Rosalee and Monroe fling it open.

"Hey" Rosalee takes me in a much needed hug "How are you feeling?" she asks as she takes a step back and analyzes my face. She must notice my defeated expression, because she gives me a compassionate smile "It's going to be ok"

Nick's arrival with Kelly in his arms deflects immediately the attention from me as both Rosalee and Monroe hurry to see him "Oh my God, he's so cute" my best friend claps her hands together while Nick stares proudly at his son. As I stare around me, I notice a baby crib, baby toys and plenty of cute little stuff.

"Did you guys do all this?" I gasp

Monroe puffs his chest, clearly happy with himself "Well, yeah, we figured you won't have time to do it"

"Thank you. You guys are awesome" I say honestly, fighting the happy tears welling in my eyes

After Rosalee gives me a tour of the house, she and Monroe excuse themselves. I forgot it's a week day and they have to head back to work. Nick apparently was given few days off with everything happening in his life.

"I'll…I think I'll take a nap before Kelly wakes up"

Nick nods

"Umm…Where should I…"

Coming to his senses, he shows me the way to the guest room upstairs. It's elegantly decorated with a feminine touch. The walls are chocolate brown, there's a big bed in the center of the room and two night stands. It was probably Juliette, Nick's ex or is it? I mean I did see her coming out of this house back when I wanted to come clean about my pregnancy. A crib was installed there for the baby. I lie on the blue bed sheets while Nick places the baby in the crib.

"Thanks for doing this" I say finally while Nick has his back to me

Still staring at his son, he answers in a deep cold voice "He's my son too"

Whether his coldness is due to his grief or directed specifically at me, I feel the need to defend myself from at least one of my many imputed sins "Look Nick" I stand a little from the bad, no matter how much my body doesn't seem to like it, but I think it has to be done "I tried to tell you about the pregnancy…"

"How exactly did you try?" he cuts me off, meeting my eyes for the first time in two days. He looks devastated and distressed. His eyes are red and he has dark circles under, his hair is disheveled from running his hand way too many times in it and he hasn't shaved his beard in days. His tortured expression only adds to my guilt

"I came here, few months ago" I stare at him with pleading eyes "I stayed outside, hoping to see you and finding the courage to come talk to you…Then…" I sigh, wondering if telling him will ever change the way he sees me…like a liar and manipulator

"Then what?" he prompts

I lift my eyes to his again "Then I saw Juliette coming through the main door. She gave you a hug right before leaving…I assumed you were back together and I didn't want to ruin things between the two of you…I didn't even know if you'd want the baby, given our history…"

"It was my decision to make, Adalind, regardless of our past, he's my son for God's sake" his breathing comes out ragged "Did you really think that the possibility of Juliette and I getting back together would dissuade me from taking my responsibility?"

I purse my lips, unsure of what to answer to that

Nick runs a hand in his hair out of frustration "Geez, thanks for the vote of confidence, Adalind"

With this he turns on his heels more upset than ever

I turn in bed countless times, hoping to catch up some sleep, but in vain. When I finally realize I'm too stressed to close my eyes, I decide to head downstairs. I find Nick behind the kitchen counter, probably preparing something to eat, which reminds me how much I'm hungry.

"What are you doing up?" he asks when he notices me

"Couldn't sleep" I walk to a stool and face him

He sighs and stops whatever he was doing to look me in the eyes, honesty and regret are visible on his face as he speaks "Listen, about earlier" he chews on his cheek before finishing, I can tell whatever he wants to say is costing him a huge deal "I overreacted…I'm sorry. For our son's sake, I think we should put our differences aside and try to get along"

"Ok" I nod

"Here" he gives me a sandwich "You need to eat well, I read that it's important for breastfeeding…You're breastfeeding Kelly, right?"

I try not to laugh at the awkwardness of the situation "Yeah, I am" I concentrate on the food, needing to get the discussing as far away from my boobs as possible "The sandwich is delicious"

Nick gives me a dazzling smile, reminding me of his incredible looks. I feel nervous all of sudden, from being here, alone with him. I have no idea how long we'll be living together, what if Juliette is still in his life? This whole thing is crazy

"You have a nice house" I look around me, trying desperately to find something to say

Nick nods "Thanks, but I've decided de sell it"

"Oh" is all I manage to say

"I'm aiming at a safer place, somewhere nobody knows about. With BC still operational in Portland and Sean's men wanting to get rid of us, I think being here is too dangerous"

I take a deep breath and ask him "Are we…coming with you?"

"Yeah, that's the whole point of us moving to a safer place" he gives me a Duh look, as in I should have guessed.

"How about Juliette?" I couldn't help it, I'm dying to know if the two of them are back together. I mean if so, I'd better figure out where my son and I will live, because honestly I don't see how we'll all live under the same roof. I can only imagine the horrific image we would reflect

 _Hello, this is my girlfriend Juliette and the blondie over there is my son's mother…No, she's not a surrogate mom, she's just a one night stand which gave birth to a life time commitment_

"What about her?" My question clearly irritated him

I swallow the bite I have just grabbed from my sandwich "Is she coming? I mean, are you guys…"

"Do you have a crush on Juliette? You have brought her up in every conversation we have had so far" I can see humor dancing in his eyes as he gazes at me with a cute little smile "Why don't you ask me directly what you want to know?"

Heat rises to my cheeks as I muster some courage to blurt it out "Are you and Juliette back together? I think I deserve to know"

"You and Kelly are my responsibility" ha says softly "I want my son to be with me, but I can't take him away from you, which is why we need to live together until we figure out a better arrangement. Besides, your life is in danger, BC is still after you, you need to be under protection and guess what…I'm a police detective" he winks "Oh and before I forgot, Juliette and I are not back together…That day, she came asking for a second chance…I told her I needed time"

So, there's still a chance they might patch things up. Well, they did date for more than six years, I guess it's not easy to toss away so many years of relationship…Although, I find this whole thing cringe worthy…She cheated on him, how could he possibly forgive her? Anyway, it's none of my business. I was never a soap opera fan.

Kelly's cries from the bedroom put an end to our conversation

"Hey, sweetheart" I get my baby "Mommy's right here"

Nick knocks lightly at the already open door "Hey, is he ok?"

I turn toward him "Yeah, just hungry"

"Good, Umm…I'm going to the convenience store, do you need anything?" he shuffles his hands in his pockets.

"No, I think we're fine" I sway the baby in my arms

"Ok…Well, guess I'll see you later, then" he shifts nervously on his legs

"See you"

Not long after Nick left, Rosalee dropped by to check on Kelly and me and make sure we were adjusting just fine. Thankfully, Kelly is sound asleep which gives me some time off to chat with my best friend.

"Brought you some stuff here" she says as she puts a basket on the kitchen counter "This is Caraway, you could use it as herbal tea, it's excellent for colics and gas"

"Thank you Aunt Rose, Kelly will be happy" I grin

"You should have it too, with the C-section, you probably have colics too"

I sigh in relief "You mean it's normal! Thanks God, I thought something was wrong with me" we both sit on the couch where I've positioned my baby earlier.

"So, how are you settling in?"

"I'm not sure" I shrug

Rosalee's brows furrow "Is it Nick?"

"No, Nick has been great so far…It's…I don't know, it's stupid…"

Rosalee doesn't want to drop the subject as she prompts me to carry on. Well, she's my best friend, if not her, who else could I confide in.

"Nick says Juliette wants a second chance and I can't help but wonder where does that leave us my son and I? I don't expect anything from him, really, but…what if they get back together and he decides to take Kelly…I couldn't live with that Rose, losing Diana is still torturing me, I couldn't survive the loss of another child"

My best friend shakes her head disapprovingly "Adalind, Nick is not Sean, you should stop seeing every man as a threat. With everything you've gone through, I understand you have trust issues, but Nick is among the good guys and honestly I don't know if Juliette and him being back together is a good idea"

"Why? I always pictured them as this perfect couple, very much in love" I admit

Rosalee sighs, deep in thought "Would you cheat on a man you're in love with then convince him it's his fault for neglecting you over his work? Because this is exactly what Juliette did…She came here begging for another chance, when her pleas didn't work, she told Nick he placed work before her and that's why she went looking for affection in somebody else's company…to me, she's just a manipulative bitch"

"That's awful" I can't hide my disgust

"I agree…So, did Nick tell you about the house?" she wonders

I nod "Yeah, he's selling it and I think it's for the best. I don't feel comfortable living in a place that carries so many memories of Nick's life with his ex…I'm all for a fresh start. I don't know where we're going though. He says it's much safer and it would be difficult for BC men to track us, which as far as I'm concerned, is good news"

"Speaking of BC, do you have any idea who'll be in charge of the case, now that Kelly is…you know"

Kelly's topic is still an open wound. None of us speaks of her without feeling a pang in the heart

"Yeah, an old friend of mine is taking over" Martin Meisner called me the other night to tell me the bureau asked him to go back to head quarters. He'll probably spend quite some time in Portland because the bureau wants him to work on dismantling Portland Black Claw cell "He should start soonish"

"Excuse me" I say as my phone rings "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Nick…Thought I'd bring dinner, do you like Chinese?"

The offer takes me by surprise. Yeah, I expected Nick to starve me to death then get rid of my dead body and Voilà, problem resolved "I like Chinese"

"Noodles?"

"Sounds good"

I hear him order the food before hanging up

"Alright" Rosalee gets to her feet with a giant grin "I've got to go. Call me if you need anything"

I walk her to the door "Thanks for the visit"

After I feed Kelly and put him to bed, it's already dark outside. The day went by incredibly fast. I switch on the television in the living room and watch the cooking channel while waiting for Nick. I'm so engrossed in the complicated cake recipe that I barely notice him when he finally comes back.

"Sorry I'm late" he apologizes as he puts the bags in the kitchen "What are you watching?"

"The cooking channel…Hey, could we eat here like two irresponsible teenagers, I really want to see the end result" I plead with puppy eyes

Nick brings the noodles and fortune cookies "Let's be wild, huh" he sits beside me and after five minutes into the program he finally asks "Why can't I understand a word?"

"It's German" I laugh

"You speak German?" he looks surprised as I nod

"My mom is German" I confess

He scrutinizes my face, as if I was a puzzle he was trying to assemble "I'm of German decent too" I think I remember his mother mentioning it, but I let him continue "But, alas I don't speak a word of it"

"Well, the cooking channel is the first step to learning a language" I point the TV with the remote control

He smiles "Do you like cooking?"

"Err…I'm a terrible cook, but I love watching people cook"

"Remind me of that when Kelly is of age to eat anything other that momma's milk, I don't want him to die of food poisoning" he states, eyes fixed on the TV

"Why do I feel like a milking cow now?" I glare at him, then grab a fortune cookie and crack it open

"What did you get?" Nick asks with a curious smile

"Your shoes will make you happy today" both Nick and I stare at my bare feet before bursting into laughter "Your turn" I say between bits of laughter

He grabs a cookie and reads the message inside "A good way to keep healthy is to eat more Chinese food"

"To Chinese food" I bump my noodles box against Nick's

"To Chinese food" he echoes with a cute little smile

Kelly's cries reach us from the bed room "That's my cue to leave" I stand up reluctantly

"Do you want me to get him?" Nicks stands too

"No, I'll go share my Chinese food infused milk with my son" I joke "Good night, Nick" I'm happy to see Nick's eyes going from dull as in the past days to emerald shiny like I remember them.

"Good night, Adalind"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Another quick update, short chapter though :( Hope you'll like it and thanks again for your very encouraging feedback :D**

 **Enjoy**

Chapter 10 :

They say that you forget the suffering you've been through when giving birth the moment you hold your little bundle of love in your arms. I confirm. The first time I set eyes on my baby, I felt a whirlwind of emotions travel in my body, however, you're quickly reminded of the pain you've been through when you start your long collection of sleepless nights.

"Maybe we should take him to a doctor?" Nick panics "His face is crimson red"

I shake my head while I prepare a caraway decoction before I pour it in a baby bottle "No, it's just baby colic"

Nick sways the baby in his arms trying desperately to calm him down but in vain. Kelly is really upset tonight. I get the bottle ready and rush to Nick's side "I get it" he takes the baby bottle from me and helps Kelly drink the content, after a second or too, the baby finally stops crying and we're rewarded with an Olympian silence.

"Do you think we'll get some sleep, now?" Nick asks as he walks slowly to the couch and sits with Kelly still in his arms. No matter how tired he is, he's staring adoringly at his son who's still drinking the concoction.

I sit beside Nick and the baby, completely exhausted "Hopefully yes, I mean I've just changed him, I fed him and caraway should ease the pain, unless he wants to punish us for not being the parents he wanted, I guess he'll calm down"

"Not the parents he wanted! Are you kidding me? I'm the coolest dad ever" Nick strokes the baby's belly "You hear that buddy? when you get a little older, daddy will take you to the precint, then we'll ask uncle Wu to give us a ride in his super cool cop car…You like that, right buddy?" Nick laughs when Kelly gives him a big yawn

"He thinks you're boring" I say as I lie down on the couch and bring my legs to my chest to give Nick enough space "He'd probably rather go with Mommy to court and meet filthy rich people who believe that babies is a dangerous species, right little sunshine?" I grin at my baby who's already sound asleep

Nick puts him delicately in the crib we left in the living room, then walks back to the couch "He slept before you had time to finish, which opinion you think he has of you?" he teases

I snuggle on the couch, my eyes shut under the heaviness of my eyelids "I'll think of it tomorrow"

A distant familiar voice calls my name while I'm trying desperately to run away from the horde of zombies coming after me, in my race I stumble on a rock and fall to the ground, a dead body grabs my leg and brings me to him, but I won't let him eat my brain "I know my brain is the zombies' big Mc but I'm not letting years of hard work go to waste" I say as I kick him hard "Take this Frankeinstein"

"Adalind…Stop…Shit…" the familiar voice comes closer

The zombie grabs both my legs, rendering me completely defenseless as I try to grab the ground to stop him from dragging me "No, please…Don't eat my brain"

"What the hell?" Nick's voice brings me back to reality "Why would I eat your brain?" I open my eyes abruptly only to realize he's the one holding my legs. He's sitting on the opposite side of the couch, his hair completely disheveled and a furious expression on his face and God does he look good…Wait, why is his lower lip bleeding?

"Did I do this?" I sit up immediately

He lets go of my legs and touches his lower lip, grimacing a little "Yeah, I don't remember the last time I was beaten up like this"

"I'm sorry" I apologize, beyond embarrassed. I guess we both fell asleep on the couch, last night, when Kelly finally decided to let us have some rest. Speaking of the baby, as soon as he hears our voices, he starts wiggling in his crib. I hurry to his side and collect him in my arms "I'll take care of him"

Nick nods "Alright, I'll go have a shower and take care of my poor lip"

He disappears in the stairs while I change my baby and feed him quickly, few minutes later Nick emerges back in the living room and takes Kelly from me, allowing me to go clean up. The water on my skin feels amazing, washing away my fatigue. I grab a pair of worn out jeans that I love so much and a blue shirt.

I follow the tantalizing smell of coffee to the kitchen where Nick is sitting with Kelly in one arm, while he's drinking coffee from a pink mug that says Hello Gorgeous "Hey, nice mug; Pink is totally your color" I wink as I pour some coffee in a blue mug that says I'm the man.

"Thanks, thought so too" he stares at his mug then back at me "So, while you were under the shower, I called the real estate agent" I face him behind the kitchen counter while he carries on "We might have few visitor this week, is that ok with you?"

I'm totally taken aback by his question. I realize I ignore everything about Nick and I'm just discovering how considerate and attentive he is "Sure" I go closer to him to inspect the cut on his lip "Does it hurt?" I ask, feeling terribly guilty.

"No, it's really nothing"

Somebody alternates between ringing the doorbell and knocking at the door, Nick stares at me quizzically, then gets to his feet, hands me Kelly and rushes to open the door. I follow Nick with my baby in my arms, wondering who is crazy enough to try and destroy the door.

A way too familiar blond head with a very angry expression stares back at us when Nick opens the door "Mom?"

She brushes past Nick, completely ignoring him in the process "I'm glad you still remember me" she flares

"When did you come back from Europe?"

"Two days ago, only to discover your house is for sale and completely bare. I had to beg the real estate agency to give me your address, because I couldn't reach you over the phone" I must have forgotten to charge the battery. My mother casts a quick glance at Nick and assesses him with a frown, bringing me back to reality.

"Mom, this is Nick, my baby's father" for someone who's been dying to know who was the man behind my pregnancy, she doesn't seem to care anymore.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs Schade" Nick extends his hand and my mom shakes it reluctantly as if afraid to contract a germ

I roll my eyes then lift Kelly a little bit "And this is your grandson Kelly" I introduce him proudly

She barely glances at the baby "Kelly! What kind of name is that?" she's more interested in inspecting the house than in her grandson. I stare at Nick apologetically, then back at my mom.

"I think we'll let you two catch up" Nick says to no-one in particular as he takes the baby from my arms

"Thank you" I whisper when he's close enough, he simply nods in answer

Once they're out of sight, I direct my mother to the living room and invite her to sit. Before she does, she wipes the couch, making sure it's clean. Yeah, my mom is that despicable and impolite. I sigh and decide to be civilized, ignoring her mean manners.

"So, did you have a nice trip?" I try not to think of the fact that she hasn't asked me once about the baby's health or me.

She tucks a strand of platinum blond hair behind her ear "It was fine. Your Aunt Ilda says Hi" she looks around her "So, this is where you're living now?"

"Yes" I don't want to elaborate as I'm really not in the mood to listening to her reproaches

"He's a cop!" she snorts as her eyes land on Nick's badge sitting on the table

"Nick is one of the best detectives in Portland" I counter with a clear indication in my tone for her to stop there, but my mom is not the type to back off when asked to.

She brings a perfectly manicured finger to her chin "That doesn't change the fact that he earns a meager salary" she laughs condescendingly "What kind of life is he going to offer you and his son, Adalind?"

"That's enough, mother" I order her coldly

"You should aim for a better match, Adalind" she glares at me "Sean might not be very conventional, but at least he could afford to give you a beautiful life. Nobody's perfect, you know"

That's it, I don't think I can take it anymore. I get to my feet and head to the door "Goodbye mom"

My mother's shocked expression tells me she didn't expect such a reaction. She collects her bag and walks slowly toward the door, once she's at my level, I add "And don't bother to come back, until you show my baby's father the respect he deserves" I get closer to her ear and whisper "Unlike Sean, Nick is a good man" then I slam the door to her face and turn around to lean my back against the door, exhausted from this little altercation. Less than a second later Nick appears in the staircase.

"You ok?" he shoves his hands in his pockets as he walks in my direction

"How much did you hear?" I ask in a soft voice

He gives me a lopsided smile "I heard enough to dislike her"

I feel a flush creeping my cheeks "I'm sorry"

He shrugs his shoulders "It's not your fault"

"Kelly's asleep?" I feel the need to change the topic of our conversation. My mom's negative vibes are still haunting me, I really need to think of something else

Nick shakes his head "No, he's just lying in his crib. I noticed we're running out of diapers and other baby stuff, want to go to the supermarket?"

I nod "Yeah, that would be great, I need a few things too"

"Good, I'll go get Kelly"

Going grocery shopping with Nick is quite an adventure of discovery in itself. It's really funny how men and women do not shop the same way at all. Men just grab whatever they see, regardless of the price and the content and shove it in the cart, while we check every brand, every detail, every ingredient on the package, then make a comparison with all the other similar products to pick the most adequate one. Needless to say, by the end of our trip to the supermarket, Nick swore he was never coming with me again.

"Are we done?" he asks for the umpteenth time

"We still have few more things on the list" I lift two packs of diapers and try to decide which one is better

"Pick the one on the left" he orders

"I'm not sure, they're not absorbent enough. Besides, look that one has Nemo designs on it" I show him the pack with a grin

Nick flares unhappily with Kelly in his arms "They're just diapers, Adalind, once they're stocked with baby poop and pee, believe me the binman won't give a shit whether it's Donlad Duck or Nemo on the waistband"

"You're right, we're taking Nemo" I shove the diapers in the cart and start looking for our next item on the list.

Once we're back home, Nick is not pouting anymore. We stock the groceries in the kitchen which Nick seizes as an opportunity to show me where he keeps everything. By the time we're done, I realize it's past 1PM and I'm starving.

I check on Kelly who is having his afternoon nap then go back to the kitchen

"I'm making omelet" Nick informs me as I join him

"Do you need help?"

Nick puts the eggs in the pan and adds cheese to the mix "Could you set the table?"

"Yep, sure" I set the glasses, covers and white napkins on the table before Nick brings the plates of omelet. We sit across each other and devour our meal silently. When we finish eating, Nick insists on helping me clean the dishes. I think he's simply trying to keep himself as busy as possible, probably in the hopes of clearing his mind from the bad times he's going through. Sometimes, I can catch him staring at nothing in particular, eyes empty, face contorted with pain. Yet, he's being a wonderful father and a great help in my life.

As we finish clearing the last plate I turn to face him "Thanks for everything. I know you say Kelly is your responsibility, but I'm not, so thank you for what you're doing for me"

Nick simply nods

"Umm…When are you going back to work?"

He wipes the last plate "I took few more days off to…you know, adjust to this whole thing" this whole thing meaning Baby Kelly, his mom's death and me "I need to sell the house this week. I have already found a safer place, so I should probably be back to the precint by next week"

Kelly starts crying, interrupting our conversation. That was a very short nap

"I get it" Nick hurries to his son while I go get my ringing phone in the living room, I unplug the charger and bring it to my ear "Hello?"

"Congratulations, Adalind" Sean's honey voice echoes on the other end of the line "It's a cute little baby that you have" my blood turns ice cold "What is it? you're mute now? Didn't look like it earlier in the supermarket. I must admit, you make a very cute little family, too bad it won't last"

"What do you want, Sean?"

His sweet voice turns acidic "What I've always wanted…You, Adalind and I'll kill whoever gets in the way, your little darling should know that by now"

Bile rises to my throat "You're evil"

"That poor FBI agent, we didn't go easy on her" he continues with a joyful tone

Tears sting in my eyes, images of Kelly Burkhardt parade in my head, memories of her kindness and protectiveness.

"You're a monster"

He laughs wholeheartedly "I love you too, baby"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 :

« Meisner, it's me » I clutch the phone tightly, trying vainly to calm down my shaking body while standing on wobbly legs « You said to call in case Sean got in touch » my voice is barely a whisper as I speak. Tears threaten to cascade under the form of floods any moment now. My eyes are glued to the stairs, hoping Nick won't be down here before I'm done.

Hiding this from him is probably a bad idea, but with everything going south in his life, I really don't feel like adding up one more problem to his pile of concerns. He's still dealing with his mother's death, while adjusting to parenthood and getting ready to move from the house he's lived in for years. I've already turned his life upside down, I really don't have the guts to tell him he's on Sean's death list.

Martin Meisner's guttural voice and authoritative tone echo in the other end of the line "What did he want?" the FBI agent was always all business and a straight to the point type of a guy, this is something I've always both admired and disliked about him…depending on my mood and right now, I'd say I'm grateful he's not into exchanging pleasantries.

"Me" a shudder travels down my body as I add "Nick is in danger"

"We already know that, Adalind"

"Yes, but this time he told me so on the phone, Martin…I…I don't think it's a good idea for my baby and me to stay with him. Sean will only want his head even more" my heart is beating so fast that I'm starting to feel dizzy and out of breath. My ex husband won't back down and he's too powerful and very well connected all over the world. When he picks a target, he achieves his goal and I can't live with the idea that so many people died or are going to die because of me.

"Adalind, listen to me" Meisner's tone is almost pleading, but for all I know, he could simply be tired "The FBI is working on it and Nick Burkhardt is one of the best detectives in the area, he will be fine…your son and you are in good hands, believe me" somehow, it feels like the last part cost him a great deal to say. I decide to box it in the back of my head as I focus on what's at stake right now.

Lifting my eyes to the ceiling, hoping the tears would stay inside, I sigh heavily "I don't want anybody to get hurt, that's all"

A heavy silence falls between us, before Martin finally breaks it "If he ever calls you again, let me know"

Just as I put the phone back in my pocket, Nick appears in front of me. He stares at me with utter bewilderment. I look away, desperate to hide my sad face and wet eyes, but Nick doesn't let go as he takes slow strides toward me, eyes roaming over my face "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" I bring my thumb and forefinger to my temple, nursing a throbbing head "It's just a headache"

Nick doesn't believe it for the slightest, but he's polite enough to let go, or maybe it's simply because he doesn't care and honestly, why would he? I'm the reason his life has become the mess he's trying to manage. If he regarded me before as this unscrupulous lawyer who would stop at nothing to get what she wants, now he probably sees me as a bad omen, that's only the premise of destruction.

"I'll take a small nap" I brush past him and hurry to the guest room. Everything inside of me is screaming from agony. Remembering my mom's comment about Sean being a good match despite not being perfect as she put it, I feel repulsed, a sudden need to throw up makes its way in my system. Instead of heading to the guest room as initially intended, I rush to the bathroom at the end of the hall, after closing the door I open the toiled lid and empty my stomach, feeling slightly better, in a sick twisted way.

Getting to my feet, I wash my mouth and open the door only to find Nick standing with his hands buried in his pockets. His face is expressionless, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he heard me. I swallow hard, then turn toward the guestroom without saying a word.

%%%

For the past days, we've had more visitors to the house than I can count. Today, I'm the one in charge of the house tour, while Nick is speaking to Theresa over the phone. The poor girl hasn't really had time to mourn her mother's death when she had to go back to Quantico. During one of our rare and brief conversations, Nick told me she should graduate soon. I think she's planning on asking the head office to assign her in Portland.

The septuagenarian couple visiting today is absolutely adorable and to my agreeable surprise, very much in love. The way they stare at each other is something to witness. I might have sighed wistfully few times. One would think that after what I've been through, I shouldn't be yearning for love and not even believe in it, well let me clarify then, I do believe in love, but I don't believe in men. I have trust issues and for good reason, this is why I can't allow myself the luxury of falling head over knees for someone, when I'm certain I'll end up hurt. Sean has ruined my ability to love or trust another man, no matter how much I'm envious of the enamored couples I see around me.

Rosalee and Monroe are one of them. Those two are the epitome of love. Thinking of them brings back an ache to my heart. They've been trying to be pregnant for so long, but in vain. They would be good parents, if not the best.

"We'll take it" Mr Rottermeier, a charming man in his late seventies who speaks his mind without reserve stirs me out of my thoughts. His wife turns her turquoise eyes on him, flabbergasted by her husband's decision "Dear, don't you think we should discuss it first"

"Oh, don't you deceive me Martha, I saw the sparkle in your eyes the moment you stepped inside" he intends for his voice to sound brusque, but there's no mistaking his affection in the way he gazes at his wife.

"But, Richard, we might not afford it" she whispers, probably hoping I wouldn't hear. Well, too bad, because I did and I think my heart just squeezed.

Nick steps in the room with Kelly in his arms "Sorry I wasn't able to show you around, my little sister called" he apologizes with a curt smile. Kelly wiggles in his arms, so I decide to hold him while he speaks to the couple.

"What a handsome little boy you have" Mrs Rottermeiner grins at my baby

I smile proudly as I turn him toward the couple "This is Kelly"

"Ow, he is cute" she reiterates, while her husband bends a little to take a closer look at my son "He must be Calvin's age, isn't he?" he asks his wife, who answers with a nod "Calvin's our Grandson" she explains "We have four children and six grandchildren" I can see so much affection in her eyes as she proceeds to tell us more about her family.

"We're highly interested in this house and we would like to make you an offer" Richard states when we're back to the living room. I consider leaving Nick handle this, as I'm not really supposed to interfere in anything. This is not my house and I have no decision to make, but as I start to walk away, Martha looks at me with astonishment "Do you have to go?"

"I…" my eyes stay on Nick, asking silently for an escape, but instead he surprises me by saying "Stay, Adalind" he turns back his attention on Richard "So, Sir, I'm listening"

Richard Rottermeier's offer is much lower than the ones Nick had before, I know because Nick mentioned in a conversation the best offer he got and this one is not even closely comparable, but to my utter disbelief, Nick accepts it with a smile without taking a second to think it over. Martha and Richard looked equally stunned, but their initial surprise turned quickly into immense delight and happiness.

"I'm calling the movers" Nick states as soon as the Rottermeiers are out of sight.

My curiosity is itching every parcel of my body, I really want to know why he decided to sell his house to this couple when others made better offers. Nick's back goes stiff when I pop out the question. When he turns to face me, I see honesty in his eyes "Buying this house was like a dream to me" he starts with a small smile, eyes travelling in time "I planned my whole future here" his gaze drops to Kelly's face in my arms "If I had kids, I guess I assumed they would grow up here" a lump blocks my throat as guilt runs in my veins "I don't know…it's just that I didn't want just anybody to live here and this couple seemed fit" he runs a hand in his hair nervously "Anyway, I really have to make that call. I need to have us settled down before I go back to work"

I bite my lower lip while I watch him retreat

Kelly Burkhardt was right. She raised a good man and each day I spend with him, I'm surprised to discover another quality hidden under another layer.

The following day, the moving company that Nick contacted sent men very early in the morning. They spend the whole day putting everything in boxes and disassembling furniture. Nick refused to let me help with anything, insisting it was a bad idea for me to make any physical effort when I gave birth less than three weeks ago. Except for the sandwiches I fixed for lunch, I spent the whole day lazing around, while the movers and Nick worked like little ants turning the house into an empty, soulless place within few hours only.

"Hey, look what I found" I grinned as I held a big brown book in my hands, while Nick was sitting in the guestroom with Kelly in his arms. It was already dark outside and it was bedtime for the little ones…and the adults too. Nick looks exhausted, but he insisted to take Kelly to bed.

"What's this?" he glances at the book before recognizing it, his whole face illuminates when he speaks "The Grimm Brothers story book" he grins "My mom gave it to me when I was four, I think…I could barely read a full sentense at the time, so my mom would read me a story every night, while I stared at the pictures on the book" he has a faraway expression while remembering the bittersweet memory. I realize this is the first time Nick ever shared something really personal and from his childhood with me. I sit beside him on the bed and open the book "Would you like to read Kelly a story?" I ask softly, hoping this won't bring too much sorrow and anguish to the surface. To my delight, Nick accepts.

Instead of putting Kelly in his crib, he places him in the middle of the big bed while he lies on Kelly's right side. I take a big breath and crawl to the left side, trapping the baby in the middle.

"Alright, let's see" he turns the pages, one by one

"Could you read Hansel and Gretel?" I wonder excitedly "When I was little, it was a dream of mine to live in a candy house" I grin

Nick stares at me with disbelief "Really! Then your mom must have told you about the danger of sugar for teeth and health" he teases, but my childhood wasn't a fairytale like most people imagine. Not when your mother was Catherine Schade

"My mom didn't want me to read fairytales or any books of that sort" I sigh

Nick's brows furrow "Why?"

I feel uncomfortable under his scrutinizing eyes all of a sudden "She said it was stupid and that she refused to raise me believing in fairytails and the prince charming"

"Ok…I think I see her point, but you were a little girl. Did she read you another type of bedtime stories or at least sing for you or whatever crap we liked as kids?"

I shake my head, ignoring the pity I read in Nick's eyes "She wouldn't even let the night stand lamp switched on" I laugh humorlessly

Nick stares at me few more uncomfortable seconds before finally turning his attention on the book and narrating Hansel and Gretel story. This is the first time someone reads a story to me. My first book of tales was a gift from my aunt Ilda and I had to keep it hidden between the bad and the mattress to make sure my mom wouldn't find it, unfortunately for me, she ended up finding it and as punishment she made me throw it in the chimney and watch it burn.

Nick's soft gentle voice feels like a caress on my body as he reads, before I know it, I'm already gone for the night. Never falling asleep has felt this delicious.

%%%

"Hey" I knock lightly at Nick's bedroom door "We're done"

"So do I" he goes in the walk-in closet to get something when an object attracts my attention. In the top drawer of the chest drawers, I notice a small blue box. Nick must have missed it when he was collecting his belongings. As I pick it, I realize it's a jewelry box. Although curious, I decide not to open it.

I walk toward Nick who's just come out of the walk-in closet "I found this"

He seems genuinely surprised as he takes the box "Thanks" he stares at the box few moments than chuckles

"What's so funny?"

He sits on the edge of the bed and I follow him "I was going to propose to Juliette"

Nick wanted to marry Juliette! I can't believe she cheated on a man who wanted to spend his life with her, then came back asking for a second chance and blaming him for her unfaithfulness.

Instead of hurt or pain, he looks highly bemused. Has he lost his mind? Could be some post-traumatic reaction for all I know.

"And why is it funny?" I sit beside him

"Do you remember that first time we met? You were coming out of a coffee shop, I was with Hank"

I remember it distinctively. It was a beautiful sunny day. It was some time before I met Sean, I was a brilliant lawyer, only interested in her career. I had just a grabbed a coffee to go and was headed to the office, when I noticed two men standing by a car and staring at me. Nick was the one that caught my attention though. I thought he had the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen. He had a cute smile on as he and his friend were staring at me. I felt really flattered that I attracted the attention of that handsome man, but it was his partner Hank who approached me and when he introduced himself I remembered reading his name in a report that had to do with a case I was defending and I saw an opportunity I couldn't miss. In retrospective, I wish I could go back and undo the mistakes I made.

"You looked at me" Nick continued with a grin

"Wow, as I remember you were looking at me" I give him a stern look which only seems to amuse him more

"Hank teased me about that, believe me"

I feel a blush staining my cheeks as I realize he hasn't denied the fact that he was checking me out "I told him you were too expensive and so out of my league" the revelation is shocking, but before I have time to interrupt him, to tell him that was not true, that I would never have considered myself too good for him, Nick continues with his story "Anyway, Hank bet he could get your number and that was the day I bought that ring" he laughs "And look at us, now"

I give him a small smile "It's quite funny, I admit. But, let me tell you one thing, in my experience, life has a unique senses of humor"

Nick nods with a grin

"But, how come you never proposed if you got that ring so long ago?"

Nick looks uncomfortable "I did, but she said I wasn't ready for such a commitment…That I proposed only because I thought I had to"

"Was she right?" I feel a rush of protectiveness over Nick for a reason I ignore

He remains silent for a second before speaking again "I don't know"

"Sir" one of the movers puts an end to our conversation "We're done"

"I'll go get Kelly" Nick stands up quickly, putting as much distance between us as possible. I feel like confiding in me wasn't his intention and it saddens me.

Well, we're about to have a fresh start and I'm glad I know some more about the mystery that is Nick Burkhardt.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Again, I can never thank you enough for the super encouraging feedback :) Sorry this update wasn't as fast as the previous ones**

 **Enjoy ;)**

Chapter 12 : Fome sweet home

Nick's idea of a new house is _slightly_ different from mine

"We're here" he announces as he brings the car to a stop in front of what used to be a painting factory. Yes, you heard me right; A painting factory. How do I know? Well, it's written in big bold red letters on the two story building. I said I wanted to live in a Candy house not a painting factory, Nick. You should pay more attention to what I say.

Nick opens the big gate leading to the house garage. I climb out of the car as soon as it stops and follow Nick to the elevator. Once we reach the space we're supposed to share from now on, I realize it's not that bad, only a bit bare and lacking life. I like to believe that the places that have a soul are the ones that we wound up calling home. This loft however has more than a soul; it has character. I'm not sure I like it, but I must admit it has a lot of potential.

The first thing that comes in sight is the open space connecting the kitchen to what I suppose should be a living room, but for now it has just a table and chairs. Two steps lead to the big bedroom with large windows and sliding doors. A queen size bed is right in the middle, night stands on each side, a baby crib and a small closet on the far end.

There's only one bathroom and Nick will be sleeping on the bed lying against a wall by the entrance of the loft. Apparently, for safety measures, Nick has put all his furniture in a storage because he didn't want the movers to know where we live now. His reasoning makes sense. BC has connections everywhere and is expanding more and more. Sean won't back down until he achieves his goal and as long as he's running free, none of us is safe.

I realize Nick has taken all the necessary precautions as he continues "The car you saw when we got in is yours. It's under Rosalee's name, just in case. We figured Sean has probably your car tracked, so this is the only option you have for now" I nod not really surprised as Nick had explained few days ago that I needed to dispose of my car for my safety.

"Alright" Nick shifts nervously on his legs "I've got to go to the precint. There's a credit card on the kitchen counter, feel free to use it to buy anything you need. You have my phone number, if anything happens call me"

"Okay, thanks"

Nick grabs his car keys and heads to the elevator, not without casting a last glance my way "I don't know when I'll be back" just like this, he disappears

It's only when he's out of sight that it hits me. We'll be living under the same roof for God knows how long. This place is very open which makes it very unlikely to have any kind of privacy, unless I lock myself in the bedroom.

"Well, looks like this is our new home" I tell my baby

It doesn't take me too long to settle in, I didn't have many possessions to start with. When I moved out of my house, I left a lot behind me. I guess it was my way of letting go of a way too painful past. Is it what Nick wanted too, when he sold his house and refused to keep his furniture? Although he claims it was a safety precaution (and I do believe this was his main intention) I strongly believe that deep down he couldn't stand to live in a place that held so many hurtful memories.

After a couple hours of lazing around, doing absolutely nothing, I finally decide to move my lazy pants and go buy groceries. As I grab the keys to my new silver grey second hand Toyota Auris, I glance at the credit card Nick gave me. Although I am not working at the moment, my bank account is not empty, thanks to the enticing salary I was paid in my former law firm, I have savings, but that's what they are, just savings and one day or another I won't have a single penny left, however, I can't picture myself depending on Nick even on basic everyday expenses. He's already done so much more than I expected. Shaking my head, I decide to leave the credit card where it is. I was raised to count only on myself. Relying on others is a weakness I can't afford. As soon as Kelly is old enough, I'll go back to work. Besides, Nick and I are not sharing a house forever. This is just temporary, until my baby and I are not endangered anymore.

%%%

"Hey, Rose" I answer my ringing phone just as I finish placing the bags in the car trunk. Kelly is wiggling in the car seat, already missing his freedom. I circle around the car and jump behind the wheel.

"Hi" I can imagine her kind smile as her soft voice echoes through the phone "I was wondering if you and Kelly would want to stop by?" the hopeful note in her question is unmistakable. Ever since Kelly was born, Rosalee is always finding excuses to spend time with the baby and cuddle him. Her pain and frustration from not having a baby of her own are so palpable and heartbreaking.

"Yes, sure. We're on our way to the spice shop"

She breathes a sigh of relief that makes me happy that such a small thing could be the highlight of her day "Alright then, see you later"

"We're visiting Aunt Rosalee, Kelly" I grin at my baby as I start the car. Fifteen minutes later, we park near the spice shop and head inside. As soon as she sees us, Rosalee places the closed sign on the door and takes immediately Kelly in her arms.

"Hello little sunshine" she greets him with big kisses on his chubby cheeks "Aunt Rose has missed you, you know that, right baby boy" Kelly starts fussing happily, probably sensing all the love emanating from this wonderful woman who's holding him.

In the back shop, I sit on a chair beside Rose while answering her questions about the new place we moved in, curiosity reflected in her almond eyes. She laughs very hard when I tell her I baptized it the Fome.

"I swear Rose, it's a cross between a fortress and a home" a shudder runs down my body as I remember the loft "After spending two hours there only, my skin started itching. I wouldn't be too surprised to find the boogeyman under my bed. A great way for Nick to get rid of his pain in the ass/baby mama"

Rosalee shakes her head disapprovingly "He would never"

I sigh, remembering the ache haunting his eyes and the visible sorrow on his face. Since I entered his life, he's lost his mother, had to sell his dream house and is stuck with me because we have a baby together, albeit that last part is what keeps both of us from losing our sanity "I wouldn't blame him"

"Did he make you feel that way?" Rose brings my focus to the present

"No" I jump in quickly "He…He's been nothing but great to us and he's a good father to Kelly, actually the only time I see any emotion cross his face is when he's with his son…The rest of the time, it's like he doesn't have any emotions, any feelings…his…his face is blank, devoid of any expression that would give away what he feels or thinks" I let my arms fall to my sides, helplessness seeping from my mouth "I know the annoyed Nick Burkhardt, angry Nick Burkhardt, pissed Nick Burkhardt…But I have no idea how to deal with this man who seems to have given up on…happiness altogether"

Truth is, I know exactly what he's going through and it scares me like hell. I've been there before, right when Sean disappeared with Diana, I was helpless and distressed. I was on the verge of mental breakdown if it wasn't my determination to find my daughter that saved me. I guess Nick and I are alike in more ways than we thought. I can only hope baby Kelly will help mend his broken heart the way he did mine.

Maybe with time, he'll learn to live with the pain, because it's impossible to overcome it completely.

Rosalee reaches for my hand and gives it a gentle tug "It's going to be fine"

I nod although I feel like a ticking bomb, ready to explode whenever Sean decides to push the detonator. He won't be afraid to use our daughter as bait and Nick's life is in danger as long as I'm with him.

As if reading my thoughts, Rosalee continues "None of this is your fault. Sean would go after Nick, even if you returned to him. He was a target the moment you conceived this baby"

I check my watch and stand up hurriedly "We've got to go. It's getting late and Nick should be back soon. I don't want him to worry in case we're not home"

Rosalee gets to her feet too and hands me a folded note that was in her pocket "The rice recipe you asked me for" she grins

"Thank you" I grab it, while holding Kelly in my arms "Let's hope nobody dies of food poisoning"

"Stop exaggerating, you'll do just fine" Rose reassures me as she ushers me toward the door

"If I don't call you by noon tomorrow, call 911" I say behind my back

Rosalee shakes her head with a huge grin "Byeeee"

About an hour later, I'm standing in the kitchen with Kelly on the counter sticking his legs and arms out of his seat and babbling in this baby language that I have yet to learn. I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, glad I traded my long blond curls with a shoulder length straight bob haircut. It requires less maintenance which is exactly what a mom aims for. Not than anybody noticed the change, except for Rosalee.

"Now tell me" I scowl breathlessly "How exactly is the recipe easy?" I stir the rice some more, trying to avoid the boiling water spilling on the sides "Aunt Rose betrayed us, honey" I point to the cooking pot accusingly "This was a trap"

Just as I finish my sentence, the door of the elevator opens and Nick strolls in, looking exhausted but fine to my utter relief. He removes his jacket, which leaves him in a dark blue Henley that hugs every muscle of his upper body. Darn, this man is built. He doesn't have those outrageously big muscles, his are the ones that come with a nice toned body. Despite his expressionless face, those exceptionally green eyes are sparkling.

"Hey" he walks toward the kitchen, reminding me that I was caught staring. He brushes past me to collect Kelly in his arms. He rewards Kelly's eagerness to see his daddy with a genuine smile that only his son is allowed to see "Hey buddy, you had a good day?"

"Dinner should be ready in a couple of minutes" I state, trying to ignore my nervousness. It's common knowledge that I am a terrible cook and I dread the result of my poor attempt at fixing something edible.

"Can I help?" Nick asks without taking his eyes away from his son

"Set the table"

He places baby Kelly in his crib then comes back to the kitchen to gather plates, covers and everything we need on our dinner table. I serve both of us and wait expectantly to see Nick's reaction when he eats, as I sit across from him on the table. After few spoons, still no reaction, my heart starts jumping nervously as my stomach clenches. He hates it. He definitely hates it. I have just made a fool of myself. What if he dies of food poisoning? OMG, I'll be thrown in jail and Kelly will be sent to foster care.

"No, not foster care" I squeal but I realize too late that I said it out loud. I really need to control my crazy imagination, before turning nuts. Nick lifts his eyes questioningly and I feel a flush rising to my face

"Let me guess" he sets his spoon on the table "Tourette's!"

I nod energetically and notice his lips quirking up in a smile "Why aren't you eating?" he wonders

Staring at my plate, I finally dare express what's on my mind "Is…is it good?"

No answer

I lift my eyes, only to realize he was waiting for me to look at him. I'm a kickass lawyer and a very strong confident woman, why do I feel so nervous over a meal? Maybe because I was raised to dislike any type of failure, if something is not perfect then it's no good, this is what my dear mother taught me.

It will take quite some time for me to get rid of those deeply rooted reflexes

"It's good" he replies "Real good"

"Really!" I bring a spoon full of rice to my mouth and realize he's right, it's delicious, I'm so proud of myself "You're right. I'm not used to cooking much, so I was afraid you wouldn't like it"

"I can't judge, I'm not a good cook either" I'm grateful for Nick's comment that lifts a little of the existing tension between us

"I grew up eating mainly pasta and pizzas" I admit "My mom wasn't around much and instead of giving me cooking lessons, she left money and menus on the kitchen counter"

"How about you father?" That's the first time Nick asks me a personal question

"Took off when I was four" I ignore the way too familiar pang in my heart. I could never completely overcome the feeling of abandon he left behind him. When I was a little girl, I entertained the fantasy that I was Robert Redford's illegitimate child and he never got in touch because my mom threatened to ruin his carrier if he ever did. As a teenager I thought of looking for my father, but I had nothing to start with my search, no name, no picture…It's like he never existed and no matter how much I begged, cried or threatened my mom wouldn't budge.

Nick clears his throat "My…my father died when I was twelve, Theresa was barely three…he died on the field, he was my mom's partner at work and in her daily life" he gives me a bitter smile, I can tell the memory still hurts

"I'm sorry" I whisper in barely audible voice and Nick simply nods

After dinner, Nick clears the dishes while I feed Kelly who drifts off to sleep shortly after. I place him delicately in his crib. I stroke lightly his cheek and proceed to tell him that he has a sister and that I can't wait for them to be reunited, just when I turn around I see Nick lying against the door frame, his face emotionless as usual, but something in his eyes tells me he heard my monologue.

Under his fierce scrutiny, I feel small and defenseless, the need to deflect the attention from me submerges me "You came to wish Kelly goodnight?"

He takes slow strides towards the baby's crib and bends a little so he can kiss lightly Kelly "Good night, buddy"

As he resumes his initial posture, he stares at me for what feels like forever, I try to think of something to break that awful silence, but my brain has gone on vacation. Where are you brain when you are most needed?

Pity is something I can't stand

"Have a goodnight, Nick"

He nods and walks to his bed by the entrance. I close the bedroom door and lie on the bed, I grab my cell phone from the night stand and scroll through my gallery until I find what I was looking for; a picture of a three year old Diana, collecting daisies from a garden. She looks so happy, so beautiful with her ocean blue eyes, platinum blond hair and porcelain skin. The exact replica of her mother, just like in turn, I am the exact replica of my mom. A tear streaks down my face as I caress the screen, begging my aching chest to ease the pain.

I don't remember when I fell asleep, but when I open my eyes again, Sean is standing before my baby's crib with Kelly in his arms. I try to jump from bed, but my legs won't move, all sensation of my lower body disappeared, but it's not the loss of my moving ability that frightens me most, it's the vision of Sean heading out with my son in his arms.

"Kelly, Kelly…." I scream until my lungs burn, but Sean sends me a devilish grin that deforms what I once considered a beautiful face and disappears with my son "Kelly…Please, No…Kelly…"

My vision becomes blurry and everything starts shaking around me in the world shattering moment "…lind…Adalind…It's…st…ream…Just a bad dream" I finally make out the words that belong to a familiar voice. I open my eyes with a lot of difficulty. Everything around me is a foggy and I realize it's due to the tears that clouded my vision. Nick is sitting on my bed, his hands on my shoulder, there's concern in his eyes.

"Where's Kelly?" I try to shrug his arms away he won't let me

"He's fine, luckily your screams didn't wake him. You're okay?" his hands drop from my shoulders and I feel suddenly cold and hollow

I nod "Yes…No…I don't know…Sean took Kelly" tears keep falling and my throat is clogged, making it very difficult for me to speak "He took him" I cry

"Adalind, it was just a dream" he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear and lifts my chin with his fingers so that I meet his beautiful green eyes

"You don't get it" I shake my head "He won't stop until he gets what he wants"

"I won't let him approach my son, Adalind, I promise" somehow, his sincere eyes and his softening voice help me relax a little bit, but just as he starts rising from the bed, a rush of panic submerges me. I grab his forearm and blurt out something I never thought I'd ask in a lifetime "Could…could you stay here…just for tonight…I'd feel much safer knowing you'd kill whatever walks through that door"

Nick is clearly surprised and all of a sudden all that bravado from earlier is gone. I can almost see Mr. Bravado holding a bindle on his shoulder and murmuring a joyful "Sayonara, Adalind Chan"

"It's ok if you don't want to" I amend quickly "It's weird, I guess"

Nick gets up from the bed and leaves the room.

So much for our fresh start, I can't blame him though. What did I expect really? Oh God, I sounded like I was propositioning him. How will I ever face him again? Nick's reappearance at my bedroom door puts an end to my internal diatribe. He walks to the other side of the bed, puts his gun and charger on the night stand and lies silently beside me. I'm so shocked that it takes me few minutes to register what's just happened.

"Thank you" I murmur

When I start believing he's not going to answer, he turns his green eyes on me and lets them roam over my face like a feather caress on my tingling skin.

Day 01 in the Fome: Barely survived


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry it took a week to finally update :( Thank you for your encouraging reviews, I'm always happy to read your thoughts, so don't hesitate to share them :D**

 **Muito obrigada pelos comentarios :) sou sempre feliz em lê-los**

Chapter 13 : There's a big hole in my heart

Nick and I took turns with Kelly during the night. It is fair to say we haven't had a full night sleep since our son's birth, but he is by far the only reason we manage to smile instead of drowning in despair. Today is going to be particularly tough on me, but I try to keep the reason of my torment in the back of my head, concentrating instead on other tasks.

When I woke up this morning, Nick was already gone. With Kelly still asleep, I decide to check my emails right after breakfast. I haven't done it in a while and I'm sure my inbox is quite full of advertisement emails along with work related ones, but I really need to keep my brain occupied, to prevent it from over-thinking. As I proceed to check my inbox, a particular e-mail gets my full attention. It's the latest one and …

It's from Sean

My heart leaps, I know what to expect. I know what it's going to be about, yet, I can't help it when I click, both eager and terrified to discover its content. When it opens, it doesn't have any text, except for a link on which I click. A video opens, covering my entire phone screen. A beautiful young girl smiles at the camera while opening what must be a present. It's my Diana.

"Happy birthday, Sweetheart" I recognize Sean's voice

Ocean blue eyes stare back at the camera with a happy grin "Thank you, Daddy"

Few days ago, I met with Henrietta begging her to deliver my birthday present to Diana, but she looked at me apologetically saying that she couldn't risk it. Last time she helped me, Sean discovered it and he went berserk. The genuine regret that filled her beautiful chocolate eyes prevented me from insisting. Instead, I carried the weight of my angst and left.

"I'm sending this video to mommy, want to tell her something?" his happy scowl sets goose bumps on my skin

"No" she starts to turn away "I don't have a mommy" she sniffs, voice breaking and my heart cracks "She left me for a new family"

The camera becomes unstable as I hear for the first time alarm in Sean's voice "Hey, Sweety, I…"

The screen goes blank

My hand flies to my mouth as I try to stop myself from screaming. Pain is crawling on my skin like razor blades, cutting so deep that I can barely manage to breathe. Sean told her…He's hurt our daughter just to get to me in the process…This heartless monster stops at nothing…

Reaching for the phone I inadvertently dropped to the floor, I dial Martin's number. It's been few days since I last talked to him and I need to know if the FBI has registered any progress regarding the BC case. With my daughter away, I can never feel happy or complete. Every day that passes by is just one more reminder of my prisoner-like life. I'm a puppet in my master's hands.

"Martin Meisner" he answers in his usual severe tone

I inhale deeply "Meisner, it's Adalind. Sean contacted me" I proceed to tell him about the video link and Diana's birthday. All along, he listens intently before asking me to forward the link so that a team of experts studies it.

"We have created a special division dedicated to bringing down BC" Meisner starts to explain "We've picked the best and more reliable agents in the FBI. It's a secret division within the FBI though, we don't trust anybody with the BC case given their connections and how well rooted they are in all strategic places. Bringing them down is not going to be an easy task, but it's the top and sole priority of this new team"

However, when I press him to tell me more about it, Meisner dismisses me saying it's confidential and that he's already told more than he should. When I hang up, I feel slightly relieved knowing that the Bureau has decided to put in place such a division, but the knowledge doesn't attenuate my torment.

I can't wait for today to be over

Kelly's cries bring me back to reality as I hurry to his crib and collect him in my arms. After that, I fall into our new baby/momma routine; cleaning, feeding, pampering and playing. My ringtone interrupts our play time.

"Hey, it's me, Nick" I decide not to point out that I already know given that he is in my contact list "How is Kelly?"

Controlling my emotional turmoil, I breathe "He's fine"

Silence

He must want to add something else, but he seems to hesitate, so I intervene "Do…you need something?"

"Actually, yeah" I hear determination in his voice, while he adopts his all business attitude "I left a file on the kitchen counter and right now I can't leave the precint…it's kind of urgent"

"You want me to bring it over" I finish for him

"Would you mind?"

Considering that I have absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to be right this moment, I'd say NO. Besides, I wouldn't mind the change of scenery, this fortress of a loft is taking the best of my sanity. Turning toward the bedroom, I proceed to get Kelly's baby bag ready.

"I'll be there in fifteen"

I hear a sigh of relief through the receiver "Thank you"

While Kelly is in his crib, waiting patiently for Mommy to get ready, I stuck thin towels in my breastfeeding bra, because you never know when your boobs will turn into milk fountains, they seem to enjoy doing it in public (Couple of show offs), I grab a pair of dark blue jeans and a shapeless baby blue blouse that hides my slightly still swelled tummy. Although I don't mind the new size of my breasts, my belly is another story, but it's not anything I'd worry about. With everything I've gone through during the pregnancy, I haven't gained much weight.

I barely inspect my reflection in the mirror before I leave, a red headband is keeping my bangs back. My bare face stares back at me in the bathroom mirror, not a long time ago, I would never leave the house before applying some mascara and lip stick. Now, it seems like a waste of time. I'm neither in the mood to indulge myself, nor interested in impressing anybody. My ocean blue eyes pop out, reminding me they've always been my best attribute. With Kelly in one arm and the baby bag on the shoulder, I grab the car keys and file before hopping in the elevator.

Exactly sixteen minutes later, Kelly and I make our way into the precint. It's quite big and crowded. Police officers come and go, some wearing a uniform, others not, only their badges giving away their profession. I clutch Kelly tightly against my chest as I hurry toward a familiar face.

"Officer Wu, right?" I ask the officer with delicate Asian features that I met at the hospital after a car had almost ran over me.

"Yeah!" his face goes from blank to recognition in a split second "Miss Shane"

"Shade but please call me Adalind" I smile kindly at him "Do you know where I could find detective Nick Burkhardt? I have something for him"

He regards me suspiciously before turning on his heels "Sure, follow me" I do as he asks, ignoring the curious eyes roaming over Kelly and I. Haven't they ever seen a woman and her son over here?

Officer Wu directs me to Nick's desk which he shares with (brace yourselves), Hank Griffin…Yep, the one and only Hank I dated to extirpate information I needed for a client. I feel heat rising to my face the moment our eyes meet. I'm so ashamed of what I did and I never got the chance to apologize, I simply avoided him altogether.

"Hey Nick" Officer Wu gestures to me "Miss Adalind Schade here is looking for you" I notice that Wu doesn't move when Nick rises from his chair, probably wondering what I could possibly have to give Nick when the FBI made it clear I was the bureau's case and not the Police.

As soon as he spots his daddy, Kelly starts wiggling in my arms, reaching for Nick who immediately hurries to take him from my arms, eyes shining with their usual affection and pride. Kelly giggles when Nick holds him high above his head "You like that Buddy!"

Hank stares at me uncomfortably, but he doesn't look at all surprised. Nick must have told him about Kelly and us living together, I guess. Wu on the other hand is dumbfounded.

I produce the file from Kelly's baby bag and hand it to Nick "Here" with the baby still in his arms, Hank decides to step in and takes the file from me. I remember Hank as a caring person and a hard worker, both qualities I admired about him but I think that even when I exploited him, he sensed that I was never truly romantically interested in him. I was only carrier oriented and focused on my objectives. Under other circumstances, I believe we could be good friends

"I'll walk you out" Nick states while Kelly strokes his two days stubble

Nodding, I wave at Hank and Wu and follow him out only to come face to face with Juliette, Nick's ex. If I thought this day couldn't be any worse, I was wrong. The look of disgust on her face tells me she's not a fairy godmother casting positive spells on my son. Nick stops abruptly, sensing the tension in the air. I try to stick to him, but if I come any closer I'd turn into his Siamese sister.

"So the rumors were true" her eyes travel from Nick to me and vice versa "You two really have a baby" she laughs humorlessly "I can't believe I didn't see it coming" Juliette's acidic words attract unwanted attention around us.

"I don't owe you any explanation, Juliette" Nick's heated glare surprises me

Juliette sports an ugly grimace on her face "Bullshit! For moths I felt terrible for what I did, when you are no better"

Right now, all I want is to do is grab my baby and run as far away from this woman as possible. But, with Kelly in his father's arms, it won't be easy and I'm not leaving without my baby. In other terms, I'm stuck.

"I should have known. You always seemed to bring out the worst in each other. When she was dating Hank, she was all you were talking about. How he deserved better, how she was manipulative…etc…and that day at the restaurant, I saw the way you were staring at each other, but when I confronted you" her words tasted like poison "You denied it"

"Juliette, you're making a scene" Nick says through gritted teeth. I can see he's starting to lose his patience.

She shakes her head with a fake smile "Deep down, I knew there was more. The tension between the two of you was almost palpable and oh so suffocating at times"

I have no idea what she's talking about. Nick and I hated each other. That day at the restaurant, we were staring at each other with despise and irritation. He even followed me to the bathroom to confront me with the fact that he knew all about my motivations and he was going to expose me. That was the night when I noticed that the green of his eyes changed according to his mood…Alright, so maybe that's not the point right now.

"Is there a problem here?" Officer Wu comes to our side

"Yeah" Juliette points a skinny finger at me "This Bitch slept with my fiancé"

Fury runs in my veins, stealing a man from another woman was never in my agenda. Despite knowing perfectly well that replying to her comment is a bad idea, I can't help it when my mouth resumes talking "Technically he was never your fiancé to begin with" Nick sends me a death glare that I ignore "You refused, remember? Probably out of culpability over cheating on him with your boss, who by the way is way inferior to Nick, if you want my opinion"

Nick's unhappy scowl turns into surprise

"Oh and before I forgot, you were already over when we did the deed, and I can't even start to tell you how much we enjoyed ourselves" there, serves you right moron. I hate unfaithfulness and cheating. Nick is a good man and he didn't deserve what this woman did to him. He's too decent and respectful to ever tell her those things, which is why I stood up for him. He's done so much for Kelly and me that it only seems natural to be the one protecting him for once.

Not that he needs protection, with his warrior body and amazing detective skills

That last part apparently made Juliette lose her mind (or what's left of it) "I'll kill you" she jumps on me, but Nick intercepts her with one arm while Wu shields me and Hank takes the baby from Nick.

"I see" Juliette spits vehemently, staring at us one by one "I can't believe I came here to ask for forgiveness" that last part is directed to Nick

"What's this commotion all about?" A tall man, with salt and pepper hair and a fitting grey suit draws our attention

"Nothing important, Captain Raymond" Hank exclaims, eyes not leaving Juliette

She rolls her eyes, then glares at me "I'm leaving, but we're not done"

Her threat sends shivers down my spine. My mom always says that a jealous woman is a dangerous woman.

Captain Raymond turns his grey eyes on us, once Juliette is out of sight, his eyes staying a little longer on Kelly and I "Burkhardt, Griffin, in my office, now"

Hank places Kelly in my arms and Nick instructs Wu to escort us to my car out of precaution. Bloody Juliette might still be waiting for us outside, plotting for her revenge or the many artistic ways she could dissect me and feed me to the dogs.

Once in the safety of my car, I let the rage sweep over me and dial Rosalee's number to tell her all about today's adventure at the precint. During the whole conversation, she listens intently, interrupting me only to shout a series of OHHHHs and AHHHHs.

"Now you have one more enemy on your list of people to avoid" Rosalee sighs when I finish

I groan. She's right. I should have kept my mouth shut, but something tells me she would have hated me anyway.

Back to the loft, my thoughts drift back to Diana, bringing to the surface all my suffering and hurt. Because of Sean's manipulation, she thinks that I abandoned her for a new family, when the reality is that she was stolen from me, but she's too young to understand. This feeling of abandon, I know it all too well and I don't want for my daughter to ever think that she wasn't worthy of her mother's love.

Nick steps into the life, while I fix dinner. He barely says hi as he walks directly to his son's crib. I should apologize about my outburst this morning in the precint, but I don't feel sorry about what I told Juliette, because I meant every word I said and if he's not happy with it, then so be it, but this unscrupulous woman should have seen it coming.

Nick's phone rings, then I hear him speak to his sister "Sorry I missed your graduation…Already! Guess you're that good…Uhuh, where have you been assigned?...I see, but there's conflict of interest. I don't think it's a good idea for you to work on the BC case...He's doing great, you should come see your nephew very soon…Alright, be careful…"

Nick's mention of BC reminds me of all my problems, without realizing it a striking pain hits me. As I stare down, I see blood dripping on the immaculate sink. I stare blankly at the knife on the other hand. I must have screamed because Nick hurries to my side "What happened?" but I'm immobile, staring at nothing in particular, while tears streak down my face. It's not the physical pain that hurts, but the loss of my daughter and of any type of control over my life. Nick places my hand under the water faucet and washes the blood, then grabs my arm and leads my limp body to the bathroom where he retrieves a first aid kit and proceeds to patch me up. But this superficial wound is nothing compared to the big one in my heart.

"Adalind what happened?" his eyes are filled with concern, but the lump in my throat is too big to let any sound leave my mouth "Does it hurt?" he asks again

I nod. But I'm not referring to the cut on my finger and weirdly Nick seems to understand what I'm talking about "Want to tell me about it?"

I bite my lower lip to stop it from quivering. Nick brushes my lip with his thump to free it from my biting teeth "It's ok to cry when it hurts, Adalind"

His green eyes hold mine and I feel my walls of restraint cracking

Swallowing, it takes me several tries to be finally able to speak "She turned six today" I whisper. My shoulders start shaking and I know I can't hold it any longer "She thinks I abandoned her, Nick" my voice breaks "She hates me…I will never get her back, unless I do what he wants" with every word I say, my breathing is more labored. I collapse to the floor and sob harder, to my surprise, Nick lands on the floor with me and collects me in his arms, while his back is pressed to the wall. The warmth of his arms and his intoxicating smell help me relax a little bit as I press my cheek to his rock hard chest.

"Tell me about her" he demands in a soft voice


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Happy one month anniversary :D Well, technically it was a couple of days ago, but hey, it's still a one month anniversary. Gosh, it feels like I started this fanfic forever ago :p**

 **Thank you for your amazing feedback and can't wait to hear from you again ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 14 : Danger in the premises

I don't know how Nick and I landed on the couch, me snuggling against his chest, him holding me tightly in his arms. Never in my life have I felt so safe, so nice and so…right. I'm still adjusting to Nick's genuine kindness and generosity, despite the wrong things I did to him in the past. My whole life, people around me would never show any kind of affection or care unless they expected something in return, so I grew up believing that nothing was free. Every bit of consideration has a price. Yet, here I am, confronted to something completely alien; a man who gives but doesn't take.

My hand flies slowly to his face while his eyes are still closed, my fingers must feel like feather on his strong jaw, in my barely there caress. His slow breathing tells me he's deep asleep. His skin is a combination of roughness and strength. My finger travels down to his full lips, they are surprisingly soft; flashes of the things this very mouth did to me once upon a time bring a blush to my cheeks, as I press my thumb on his mouth, he parts his lips inadvertently. I freeze, scared he might open his eyes and find me admiring his beautiful features, but he doesn't. He must be a heavy sleeper or simply exhausted. Resuming my exploration, I draw a line to his throat and watch his Adam's apple bob, I lift my eyes immediately and sure enough Nick's eyes are wide open, two shining emeralds staring back at me.

I was caught staring, after all. Alright, I can deal with this

"Hi" is all I manage to say. Hey, how would you have reacted in a similar situation?

Nick's eyes drink me in "Hi" he says after a while

My fogged brain whispers something like "Yo, Adalind, maybe we should move away a little, 'cause Mr Burkhardt is trapped between the back of the couch and you" but all I do, is give my brain a day off, because honestly, it's way too agreeable staying in Nick's arms and if he wants to move, he can simply ask. Right?

When Nick doesn't add anything, I decide to interject "You had something on your throat…errr…saliva…yeah, I must have drooled on your throat…not that I drool in my sleep or anything…I used to when I was a little girl, but not anymore…what I mean is that…" did I tell you that I babble nonstop when I'm stressed out? Well, if not, sorry you had to discover it this way.

Nick seems to find my verbal diarrhea entertaining "It's fine" he mutters with a smile as he props on his elbow "I should probably start getting ready for work"

"Right" I retort, still gazing at his beautiful green eyes

Nick's grin goes wider "Could you…?" his eyes move from my face to my hand that's hanging between his neck and his throat, preventing him from standing. Crap. How could I forget it was there? Beyond embarrassed, I jump to my feet and look away.

"Sorry, I didn't realize it was there…But, your throat is perfect…" I blurt out before I have time to process my words "Perfectly fine, I mean" I amend

Adjusting his shirt, he stands up and raises an eyebrow "Is that so?"

I nod twice "Absolutely" I try to think of something intelligible to say "I checked and you can rest assured, you have no goiter. You are perfectly healthy. That's why my hand was there in case you were wondering" I puff my chest proudly. I'm so glad I found a way out but my smile falters immediately with Nick's next words.

"I thought you said there was saliva!" he puts his hands on his hips and the smile playing at his lips tells me he's enjoying the situation more that I would want him to.

That's the problem with lies; you always forget which stupid invention you came up with

I slumber on my words "Yes, that's true, when I wiped the saliva I thought, while I'm at it why not make sure your thyroid is fine"

Baby Kelly interrupts this whole debacle and I never thought I'd be so happy for my son's crying decibels to echo in the walls. I excuse myself and hurry to Kelly's crib. Nick shakes his head bemused and shuffles to the bathroom. When he emerges from it, he's wearing a dark grey Henley and black jeans that compliment him so well. His hair is still wet and his stubble is one day older, but oh does it look good on him.

He sits on the kitchen stool and I hand him a mug of coffee "Where's Kelly?" he asks

"Just changed him and fed him. He's lying in his crib" I lay against the sink opposite him

He starts sipping from his mug, while our eyes stay locked, after few seconds he stops abruptly "Spit it"

Flabbergast, my eyes widen "What are you talking about?"

"You've been chewing on that poor lip for the past five minutes and I spent enough time with you to figure out it's something you do when you're nervous, so spit it, whatever is on your mind" his order contradicts his soft tone and I'm surprised that he's learnt so fast to read me, when my own mother never did. She used to call my chewing my lip a childish behavior.

I start to tell him that it's nothing but his glare dissuades me from continuing, so instead, I settle for the truth "Thank you for yesterday" he nods and crosses his arms waiting for me to say more "Alright, I'd like to apologize for my outburst at the precint yesterday, it wasn't my place to say those things to Juliette, I had no right"

"True" he deadpans and his face is unreadable, but his answer doesn't deflate me

"But, I'm not sorry for what I said and I meant every word of it" I put my mug in the sing and fold my arms over my chest in defiance mimicking Nick's posture

He raises an eyebrow in challenge "Every word?"

My confrontation with Nick's ex plays in my head

 _Technically he was never your fiancé to begin with, you refused, remember? Probably out of culpability over cheating on him with your boss, who by the way is way inferior to Nick, if you want my opinion…You were already over when we did the deed, and I can't even start to tell you how much we enjoyed ourselves_

Holy cow, I can't believe I told her those things, but adrenaline was running in my veins at the moment and I didn't give a darn about the aftermath. However, one thing is undeniable, none of the things I said was a lie.

"Every word" I reiterate with a nod

Nick's phone puts our conversation on hold "Burkhardt" he replies, eyes glued to my face "Alright, I'll be there in fifteen"

Kelly starts crying again and I hurry to his crib "Hey, sweety" I sway him gently in my arms as Nick joins us in the bedroom. His face is serious and all business. He bends a little and plants a kiss on Kelly's chubby cheek, I catch his smell and suddenly I'm tempted to plant my nose in his neck. It's a mixture of soap, lemon and pure male.

"I've got to go" he states

Don't I deserve a goodbye kiss as well? My inner voice complains and I want to smack myself on the face for even thinking about this. I need to go out a little bit more. This is Nick Burkhardt for God's sake. Maybe if I remind myself of our past relationship, I'd stop drooling over his beautiful eyes, amazing body, shining silky hair…Ehhh, Adalind, you're getting a tid bit sidetracked here, sweety.

Oh, reason! Is that you? I'm so glad you're back, I was going insane without you

A couple hours later, I'm at the spice shop sipping herbal infusion with Rosalee, while Kelly wiggles happily in her arms. She tells me about her business and Monroe, she asks about my relationship with Nick and being parents and finally she gives me some insight about how Nick is feeling about this whole situation.

The perks of having common friends I guess

"So, he told Monroe that Kelly is the main reason he hasn't lost his mind" she carries on

I nod "That makes two of us" I hesitate a little before asking a question that's been nagging at me since this morning "Did he say anything about my confrontation with Juliette?"

Rosalee laughs wholeheartedly "Ohhh, yeah"

"What is it?" I prompt her, eager to hear more

"He called it a badass confrontation" she winks

My mouth hangs open in pure shock "He did?"

Rosalee nods, satisfied with my reaction. After that we chat some more, then my baby and I head home. Once in the safety of the fome, I notice a text on my phone, as I open it, I see pictures of Nick sent from an unknown number, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who's the author.

Sean

The pictures have been taken today. Nick is wearing the dark grey Henley and black jeans from this morning. There's a picture of him with Hank in a crime scene. One of him bending near a dead body and another one of him talking on the phone.

Panic washes over me. My heart beats so fast that my breathing becomes labored. Nick is in danger. My first instinct is to call him, but it goes directly on voice mail. Out of despair, I dial Rosalee's cell and tell her what happened, she tries to reassure me, but I hear her own worry in her voice.

Meisner is the next person I contact right after I forward the pictures to his number "We know they're after him, Adalind and we have it under control. Don't worry"

"Easier said than done" I spit. It's not Meisner's fault. Heck, it's not anybody's fault but mine for mingling with the wrong person. But, I need a punching ball.

Meisner sighs "Look, it might look like it to you, but we're working very hard to bring BC down and bring you back Diana. There are many things I can't disclose, but believe me, we're getting closer to our goal with each passing day"

Placing my fingers on my throbbing temple, I exhales "I'm sorry, Martin. I didn't mean to say that"

"It's fine" his deep guttural voice echoes through the receiver "I understand"

The more stressed you are, the slower time passes by. I try to reach Nick several times but in vain. It's already past ten pm and still no sign of him. I'm pacing nonstop in the loft. Kelly wakes up again and I'm grateful for the distraction. I sit at the table in front of the elevator with Kelly in one arm and a baby bottle in the other, trying desperately to stop my mind from creating different death scenarios.

When the elevator doors open, I feel an outburst of emotions at the sight of Nick. I let loose of the breath I didn't know I was holding. When did he become such an important person in my life that I can't fathom his being in danger? Although, relief has replaced my prior worry, my heart is still hammering against my chest. Nick walks slowly toward me, not realizing how preoccupied I was for the past few hours.

"You look like you could use some help?" he instantly lifts Kelly from my arms

"Or a third arm" Sarcasm and humor have always been my escape in difficult situations, but how long will hide behind them to avoid reality

Nick places Kelly delicately in his crib and strokes his cheek. I can tell he missed his son and I seize the opportunity to scan his appearance. Other that fatigue, I don't see any sign of fight or physical aggression.

"I was worried" I confess

His eyebrows furrow "About Kelly?"

"No" I take a deep breath before I admit "About you"

Surprise is written all over his face, then understanding replaces it, without thinking twice, he brings me to his chest and takes me in a much needed embrace and for the first time in my whole existence, here, now, in Nick's arms with our baby sleeping in a crib beside us, I feel finally…Home.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 :

Waking up beside Nick every morning doesn't feel so awkward anymore. He's been very understanding of my obsession with Kelly's safety and mine, given the circumstances that brought us here in the first place. Sometimes, it's difficult to ignore his presence in the same bed as me, but I try to focus on other things, preventing my mind from wandering in places it shouldn't.

Nick is still mourning the loss of his mother, but his face is not emotionless anymore, especially when he's with our son. I can tell Kelly means the world to him and he's playing a major role in Nick's healing process as well as mine. Seeing them together always brings joy to my heart. Like right now; Nick is lying on the floor while holding a giggling Kelly in the air. Gosh, I wish I could grab my camera and burn this beautiful moment forever.

"Breakfast is ready" I call Nick as I place one last pancake on his plate

"One more minute" he replies not moving from the floor. No matter how much I love watching him play with Kelly, he really needs to get going.

I shake my head "You'll be late for work, Nick"

He groans unhappily then stands up and places Kelly reluctantly in his crib. The baby extends his small arms toward his father, asking him to hold him back, but Nick explains in a soothing voice that he has to go. Weirdly, Kelly calms down setting Nick free.

"Who said babies don't understand, huh?" he sits on the stool across from me

Placing a plate in front of him, I give him a genuine smile "Probably someone who didn't have a genius baby like ours"

Nick puffs his chest proudly "That's for sure. He's a combination of our best qualities"

I nod "He does have your eyes, which is great" Alright, so I might have just complimented him. Don't read too much into it

Nick raises an eyebrow "You like my eyes!"

I feel heat rising to my cheeks, probably turning tomato red "Errr…Well, they are sort of, you know…"

Still grinning, he shakes his head "I don't know, they're sort of what?"

Gosh, why is he making me say it, now?

"Fine" I put my fork aside "I like your eyes. They're…unique. The color changes all the time, one day they're green, then they turn blue and when I think I figured the color, I see grey" I lean in to take a closer look at them "Today, for example, they're blue grey, but they have freckles of …" I inch even closer, until our breaths mingle and I realize that barely an inch separates us. Nick's eyes drop to my lips and I freeze in place. Is he going to kiss me? my heart is hammering against my chest in anticipation. There's something very wrong with me, because I think I want him to close the gap and kiss me. Instead, Nick clears his throat and turns away "I've got to go"

"Right" my voice is shaking. I busy myself with my pancake, my eyes avoiding his direction until he reaches the elevator and I hear him mutter a goodbye.

This whole sharing the same bed and living under the same roof is messing with my head. The Nick Burkhardt I know today is the same one I knew in the past, then why is my vision of him changing? "Maybe because you're only discovering who he really is now, Adalind" says my inner voice of wisdom.

It is undeniable that he's proved to be so much more than I expected or wished for. He's a fantastic father to Kelly and a considerate "roommate", what else could I call him? We're not exactly friends, definitely not lovers, not enemies anymore…So, I'd rather go with the roommates label for the time being and I need to get a grip of my emotions, they're approaching the red line and I don't like that. I can't trust anybody with my heart. After Sean's betrayal, unconsciously, I started rejecting any form of emotional attachment and I'm certainly not starting now.

Hell no

Reaching for my phone, I dial Henrietta's number for the umpteenth time this week. Diana's absence left a hole in my heart and Henrietta is the only source of information I have about my daughter, but for the past few days, she refused to answer the phone which only made me even more anxious regarding my daughter's situation. When I prepare myself to leave a voice mail, Henrietta surprises me by picking the phone.

"Stop calling me, Adalind" she pleads in a whisper

My heart contracts but I don't let her words deflate me "Wait, Henrietta please, how is Diana? I miss my daughter, please, just tell me how she's doing?" tears pool in my eyes at the mere mention of my daughter's name. I miss her so much and every day, the image I have of her is more blurry. Relying on pictures or videos to remember what your own child looks like feels like repetitive stabs in the heart. She's my flesh and bone, yet I haven't seen her in so long, that it takes a monumental effort to draw his beautiful features in my mind and summon my memory to do the same.

Probably sensing the despair in my voice, Henrietta sighs heavily "Not over the phone"

A flicker of hope sparks inside of me "Just tell me where to meet and I'll be there" I plead with her. After a nanosecond of thinking, she gives me the address of an old park.

I change quickly into a yellow t-shirt and white jeans and keep my hair in a ponytail. After I place Kelly in his car seat, I hurry behind the wheel and drive to said park. Less than twenty minutes later, I'm sitting on a bench, with Kelly in my arms. Both of us waiting patiently for Henrietta to appear. At first, I don't recognize the woman strolling toward us. She's tall and slender with a glowing olive skin hidden behind big sunglasses and a scarf. It's until she sits beside me and I smell her flowery perfume that I recognize who's hiding behind this attire. She probably came here incognito, which reminds me that given the circumstances, I probably should have done the same.

"Thanks for coming" I hiss as soon as she sits. She answers with a nod, her head facing the pond in front of us. I clutch Kelly tighter in my arms "So, have you seen my daughter recently"

"She's fine but Sean is putting all those ideas in her head" she spits the words like they taste terrible "He wants her to believe you left her for a new family"

It is no surprise, but my heart does skip a beat when I hear the confirmation coming from her mouth. This man is intent on ruining my relationship with my daughter if I don't comply with his will. A tear escapes my right eye and I wipe it quickly, refusing to let my emotions take the best out of me.

"I suppose you already know it, but many lives are in danger including yours. It's either you're with him or dead" I notice her lower lip quivering as she adds "This man is…sick, he…he wants to annihilate you're baby's father and his family…or what's left of it. Just be careful, Adalind and please…" she turns finally to face me "Don't call me anymore" she starts to stand up, but I grab her arm to stop her. She jerks her arm away instinctively and my suspicion is confirmed.

She was hiding behind her attire, but it wasn't her identity she wanted to keep secret

"He hurt you, didn't he?" there's so much venom in my voice that I barely recognize it

"Let it go, Adalind" she starts to leave but I follow her with my son still in my arm. In one swift movement I lift her glasses from her once beautiful face. Her left eye is half closed and swollen. Her cheekbone is covered in bruises and there's a cut above her eyebrow. Bile rises to my throat and I feel the need to throw up and hit somebody all at once.

This strong woman in front of me refuses to let the tears shining in her eyes fall on her cheeks. She stares back confidently at me, but I know that deep down, she's a wreck and she's terrified.

I bring my hand to my mouth and take a step back, stunned and repulsed by the mark of this monster on her face "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault"

Henrietta puts a hand on my shoulder to steady me "No, it's my fault for believing there was still something human in this monster"

She turns on her heels, but before leaving I make her a promise "I'll find a way to help you, Henrietta, trust me" my voice breaks in a sob

Our eyes meet one last and she smiles sadly

As soon as I settle behind the steering wheel, I call Martin Meisner. He's my contact within the FBI and he's in charge of the BC case now. I don't know of anybody more capable to help Henrietta than him, besides I don't want to involve Nick in this mess, it's way too dangerous and he's already Sean's target.

"Adalind!" he answers

Taking a deep breath, I proceed to tell him about Henrietta and the role she's played as an intermediate between Diana and me. After I inform him about what Sean did to her, I beg him to find a way to free her from Sean's grip.

"If she accepts to testify against Sean, we could put her under a witness protection program, but we have yet to prove Sean's connection with BC" Meisner sighs, reminding me of Sean's perfect record.

"Promise me you'll try, Martin" I know it's unfair to ask such a thing from him, but Henrietta's bruised face is still in my mind. God knows what atrocities she's been put through because she's helped me.

Meisner takes a deep breath "I'll do what I can, I promise"

When I'm back to the loft, as I grab a bottle of milk I put earlier in Kelly's baby bag, I notice a folded note I'm sure I didn't leave it there. Slowly, I open it and read the content. I don't recognize the handwriting, but I know for sure Henrietta slipped it in the bag.

 _Diana's nanny takes her to Laurelhurst Park every Sunday afternoon_

 _The Nanny and the bodyguard have an affair and they always take_

 _Some time off from watching Diana when she's playing with Ducks at the pond_

 _Their break doesn't last more than ten minutes_

There's no doubt in my mind about this note's purpose. Henrietta has just offered me a golden opportunity to get my daughter back. Hope submerges every cell of my body and suddenly, life seems to take a turn in my favor. My heart is beating so fast that I'm surprised I haven't fainted yet.

%%%

"Nick, there's something I need to tell you" I assault him the moment he steps in the loft. I start to tell him about Henrietta and the note, only to stop abruptly once I take in the devastated look on his face "What's wrong?"

He walks to the bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed, fatigue and worry seeping off him "I haven't heard from Theresa for three days" he shrugs as I sit beside him.

He told me few days ago that she was working undercover on a BC related case, somewhere in Europe and her disappearance can only mean bad news. The whole Burkhardt family is on Sean's black list because of me. Fear is crawling on my skin as I feel goosebumps on every parcel of my body.

"We have this thing we do…My…my mom used to do it when she worked under cover. She'd send a text with the word OK everyday at midnight, so Theresa agreed to do the dame during her mission and she kept her word until two nights ago" he adds "It could be nothing…I know it's a tough job and it's not always easy to check in while under cover but…she's my little sister and the only family I have left aside from Kelly"

My heart cracks at the sight of his tormented face. I reach for his hand instinctively and hold it in mine, to my surprise Nick doesn't jerk away, instead he intertwines our fingers and stares at the floor.

"Theresa is a tough girl" I smile reassuringly "I'm sure she's doing just fine"

She'll be fine, I repeat the words like a mantra in my head. Nothing will happen to her, please God, let her be safe.

Nick smiles back at me but worry emanates from his eyes "You're right, I have nothing to worry about"

Needless to say, none of us managed to sleep that night


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I know it took longer to update this time, but there's a good surprise in this chapter :D**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 16 :

Nick is sitting in the loft terrace, face contorted with worry. It's been twenty four hours since he told me about Theresa's disappearance and still no sign of her. I pour two mugs of a relaxing herbal tea Rosalee gave me earlier today then join Nick who's simply standing with his hands shoved in his pockets, staring at nothing in particular under the velvety night sky.

He thanks me as I hand him his mug and doesn't complain when I stand beside him, trying desperately to find a way to comfort him. I know all about loss and the torment it puts you through, but one thing I learnt is that there's no word to relieve the pain.

"It's a beautiful night" I stare at the clear dark sky covered in diamond stars. Nick follows my gaze then nods in agreement "Beautiful indeed"

"I've always dreamed of spending a night under the stars, but never had the opportunity to do it" I admit, remembering all those nights I watched the sky from my bedroom window and wondered what a full night under such a beautiful sky would feel like.

Nick swivels in surprise "You never have! No summer camp, no crazy parties that ended with you sleeping on a stranger's grass!"

I shake my head shyly "I wasn't really into partying. Never was a very social person"

Nick's face goes agape "You mean you weren't even a member of a sorority of beautiful blondes at Harvard law? I mean you definitely qualify with your looks" he appraises me from head to toe and I try to ignore the somersault my heart just did.

Biting my lower lip, I shake my head one more time

"Well, that's unexpected" he gives me one of those dazzling smiles I've come to like so much. He sits on the floor and gestures for me to do the same. Following his instruction, I take the spot beside him and lay my back down mimicking Nick. In this position, the sky seems infinite but so close. The stars shining intensely and for a second I wish I could touch them.

"Where's Kelly" Nick interrupts the sweet silence that fell above us

"Asleep" I sigh happily "Finally" it took me a while to get him to sleep. Nick and I took turns and Kelly finally gave up after throwing up on me twice and screaming like never in his father's arms. Nick's phone seemed to do the trick. I don't know what's with babies and phones, but I'm not complaining. Whatever stops him from piercing my ears with his shrieks is good for me.

"Do you think we should get him a phone?" Nick jokes

I pretend to ponder the question "Not until third grade" I deadpan. This is the first time we've ever mentioned our future. Would we have separate lives with Kelly as the only link between us? When will we go our separate ways? I know this is not going to last forever, but somehow, the idea of not being around each other anymore hurts more than I'd like to admit. Maybe I grew used to Nick despite my better judgment.

I stare at Nick's profile while his eyes are fixed on the night sky. This man is beautiful inside out. For the past months, he's dedicated his life to protecting me and Kelly, never asking for anything in return. Despite all the pain and hurt he had been through he was still willing to take a chance on us and do what was right. He accepted to leave the past behind and work for a better future.

"I'm sorry" I blurt out the apologies I should have expressed a long time ago. Nick looks at me quizzically "About everything I did to you" I clarify "I never got the chance to apologize, but I really regret the awful decisions I made in the past. I'm sorry about Hank, about hiding my pregnancy from you…About…" tears gather in my eyes as memories of Kelly Burkhardt parade in my head "about your mom's death…About putting your life and your sister's in danger…I swear Nick…" my lower lip quivers and suddenly holding my tears becomes useless "If I could take it all back, I'd do it in a split second"

"Except for Kelly" he wipes a tear from my eye letting his thumb travel along my cheek, jaw then throat. The caress is so distracting that it takes me a second to understand what he means. My heart explodes with emotions as I manage a tentative smile.

"Except for Kelly" I confirm

Still lying on our backs on the terrace tiles, Nick inches closer –or is it me who closed the gap?- none of us seems able to tear their eyes off each other. I see the reflection of my own need and desire in his eyes. He parts his lips and his respiration becomes labored, I don't know which one of us wipes away the last inch separating us, but now, our breaths mingle and his nose collides with mine in the faintest brush. My heart is pounding so hard that I'm surprised it hasn't caused an earthquake. This is more than physical desire, it is actual need to be connected to this man, to feel his touch, his lips, to breathe him in…This new necessity is so overwhelming that I experience a momentary loss of oxygen and dizziness…My heart is drumming in anticipation.

Nick brushes his nose against mine again, his heavy lidded eyes sending a thrill down my body and when he speaks, his lips touch mine with every word he speaks in his now husky voice, yet we're not kissing "We shouldn't"

Masking the utter disappointment his comment provoked, I swallow and will the sound to come out of my throat "It's a bad idea" we're still in the same position, none of us moving, our body language the complete opposite of our words.

"We're both under pressure" he adds

I nod causing our lips to brush lightly, sending a surge of electricity through my body "And we're not thinking straight"

"Right, we can't be careless and risk to ruin our relationship for a moment of weakness" his thumb traces the path from my neck to my throat, while he nuzzles the sensitive skin behind my ear, the delicious sensation makes me hiss "Tell me to stop" he pleads in a deep throaty voice. The feel of his hot breath against my neck covers my skin in goose bumps.

"Don't…" Nick's hand freezes and he starts to move away, misunderstanding my unfinished sentence, I grab his arm before he has time to budge "Don't stop" I whisper

The last word has barely left my mouth, when Nick's lips crush mine in a frenetic kiss that makes my toes curl and my head spins…I'm drunk with his addictive lips and intoxicating sent. The moment our tongues decide to make their big entrance, I forget my name. Next thing I know, my leg is sprawled around his hip, while his hands disappear under my shirt.

Annnnnnnd…Kelly's cries interrupt us through the baby interphone snapping us out of our momentary frenzy. We break apart within the blink of an eye, getting both to our feet in record time. What seemed like a great idea a second ago, feels like the worst thing ever.

What did we just do?

Ok, so maybe that was a Hollywood kind of kiss where you lose your mind and forget who you are, but still, this was very wrong….And so very good

Stop it Adalind, I order my inner self to calm down.

"Wow" Nick's eyes avoid me while he catches his breath. God, it does feel like we just ran a marathon.

"I…Umm…It was…" I try to find my words, I inhale deeply and start again "What I'm trying to say is that we need to make sure we really want this and it's not only because we live under the same roof and we have a baby together, or because we got used to each other…If…If anything happens, it has to be about us"

Nick nods in agreement, meeting my eyes dead on "I know…I think we're both a bit confused"

A wave of striking hurt hits me. Why do his words feel like s stab? He simply confirmed what I said, or was I expecting him to say otherwise, to argue with me and tell me it was right? Foolish Adalind.

Nick seems to notice my sudden change of mood and in one stride he's by my side, with two fingers, he lifts my chin so that I look him in the eyes. His lips curve in a small smile, a total paradox with his concerned eyes "I'm not saying it was wrong or bad…Hell, it was hands down the best kiss I've ever had" a surge of pride curses through me "I'm just saying, we need to figure this out…just like you mentioned it…Trust me, I've been thinking about this a lot lately"

"You have?" my surprised tone is unmistakable

He nods "But, for now, it's a lot safer to go no further than simply thinking about it…That is, until we know what it is exactly" he plants a feather kiss on my forehead "I'll go get this" he winks when Kelly resumes crying.

The moment he's out of sight, I plant my hand on my erratic heart to calm my cardiac rhythm "Shhh crazy heart, we're going to be fine"

%%%

"…But, he was inclined on buying it anyway, so I said Monroe, it's either me or this hideous clock in the house and guess what he replied…"

I don't give Rose time to finish her sentence when I blurt out what I've been eager to share with her from the moment Kelly and I entered the spice shop "I kissed Nick"

Rosalee's eyes turn into saucers about to jump from their sockets "You did what?"

"I mean, I didn't exactly kiss him…I guess we kissed…Our lips just collided at the same time"

Rosalee raises an eyebrow "You mean your lips decided to go at it, out of their own free will"

"Sort of" I groan

Rosalee puts down the box she had in hand and sits beside me "How was it?"

I take a deep breath, replaying the kiss for the umpteenth time since yesterday "Earth shaking, head spinning the whole hangover syndrome" I shrug

"That good, huh" she grins knowingly

"And some" I confess with a frustrated sigh

Her eyes turn serious as she searches my face "So, what does that mean?"

Good question. One that I've been pondering in my head from the moment our lips met. Both our lives are too complicated right now. I have to get my daughter back, avoid to get killed by my jealous ex husband and make sure nobody else dies because of him, while Nick has no idea where his little sister is at the moment, he's still mourning his mother's death and adjusting to parenthood.

"We have yet to figure it out"

Rosalee's hand covers mine "You like him" it's not a question, rather an affirmation

"A lot" I groan "And it scares the hell out of me, Rose"

"Taking your time is not a bad idea" she offers with a reassuring smile "Nick is a good man and a good father. Sean might have ruined your ability to trust men, but I strongly believe Nick will help you learn to entrust someone with your feelings again"

Rosalee is right. Not all men are like Sean, but having trust issues is not easy to overcome. I didn't even know I was capable of liking somebody after the torturous pain I was put through. There's also guilt eating at me. Guilt from feeling happy with Nick and Kelly, when my daughter is away. Some sick part of me dictates that I shouldn't feel any type of joy while Diana is away. In the back of my head, I hear my mother's voice scowling at me "You are no better than me, Adalind"

I refuse to be like Catherine Schade. I'm a good mother, I love my children unconditionally and indefinitely. But, there's always those dark thoughts that keep nagging at me.

"It terrifies me, Rose" I swallow the lump logged in my throat

Rosalee strokes soothingly my hand "What terrifies you?"

"To let my guard down, then lose everything…watching my life collapse like a house of cards" I choke a sob, images of my whole life parading in my head. An authoritative/selfish mother, an absent father, a violent husband, a stolen daughter…Nothing was ever easy for me, Sean is not the only man responsible for my trust issues, my whole life I had to keep a distance between me and strong emotions because I was too afraid to get hurt. How sad is that? I'm scared of happiness and I don't do emotions

Even real love is such an alien feeling to me

I don't even think I was in love with Sean, it was infatuation

My kids are the only ones who managed to break the walls I built around my heart. My love for them is so strong, so big and so overwhelming that sometimes I feel consumed by it. I would stop at nothing to ensure their safety, my own life comes second when it comes to Diana and Kelly.

And Nick is threatening this equilibrium I spent years putting in place

Rosalee holds me in a tight hug and whispers "Oh sweety"

Back to the loft, I deposit a sleeping Kelly in his crib while I fix dinner. Nick should be here anytime now. Should I expect things to be awkward between us after last night's kiss? God, I have no idea how to behave now. We said we needed to figure things out first, which means no more explosive kisses (sadly), but I guess it's for the best. I was the first one to point out that we needed to make sure it was about us…But man was it a kiss…Phew…

"Hey" Nick walks in just as I finish setting the table. He's wearing a tight black shirt that outlines his perfect muscles and I'm assaulted with flash backs of that hard chest pressed against my body last night "You ok?" he walks to me and puts his hand on my forehead with his brows furrowed in concern "You're flushed" his wonderful smell reaches my nostrils and I jerk away before I lose control and beg him to engage in a make out session.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I pour a glass of water and drink it "Dinner's ready" I say when I'm done hydrating my dry throat.

He scrutinizes me for few more seconds, then takes the seat beside me "Kelly's asleep?"

"Yep" I avoid his gaze. So much for the no-awkwardness

"Adalind, are you ok?" he asks again and this time I lift my eyes to loot back at his beautiful face

I chew on my lower lip, looking for something to say. He reaches across the table and frees my lip with his thump, sending a tremor through my body "Leave that poor lip alone" his gaze remains on my mouth longer than it should and I realize I'm not the only one who thrives a repeat of last night "Do you want to talk about last night?" his eyes abandon reluctantly my mouth

"I think we said it all" I say hastily

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not" I squeal defensively "I…ok, maybe I am a little bit, but only because I don't know how to react…I'm not a kissing expert but I'm pretty sure kisses like that are X rated…which is why it's difficult to forget about it, but then there's the whole mess we're in and none of us knows what to do with this magnetic attraction that pulls our lips together…At least, I know my lips like your lips…what I'm saying is…"

Nick is fighting a laugh and it only spikes my irritation even more "This is not funny, this a serious post kissing conversation"

"I know, I'm sorry…" he clears his throat and takes a deep breath to conquer his desire to burst out laughing "So, are you saying you want to kiss me again?"

"Yes…NO" I shriek "No, no lip locking until we figure this thing out" I see a flicker of disappointment cross his face, but it's gone before I have time to analyze it "We already talked about it yesterday, we can't jeopardize what we have for something that could be just the result of two healthy grownups living together and sharing the same bed"

Nick nods in agreement

His phone rings putting a frown on his face as he checks the screen, bringing the cell to his ear he speaks "Hello?" his whole body tenses all of a sudden and he jumps from his seat "Where?...I'm on my way"

I jump from my seat too "What's wrong?"

"Theresa is in the hospital"


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thank you for your comments, they always cheer me up :D**

 **My next update might take a couple of weeks because of my holidays. I promise to try my best to update sooner, if not, sorry for the delay but I promise to be back after 2 weeks time.**

 **Enoy!**

Chapter 17:

"Theresa is in the hospital" Nick's voice is laced with obvious panic. The words drum in my ears and I feel all the blood in my veins being drained from my face. Nick's sister is in the hospital. What happened? How bad is it? Is there any possibility that BC has anything to do with her current state? All those questions pop in my mind at once and I see the reflection of my own mental turmoil in Nick's eyes.

He looks at me dead on, then starts towards the door grabbing his keys and jacket in the process.

"Hey, hey, hey" I grab his sleeve before he reaches the elevator, my heartbeats thrum in my neck and my head throbs "I'm coming with you"

His eyes scan the room quickly then come back to my face "I appreciate the offer, but you need to stay here with Kelly"

His comment brings a frown to my face. I want to be with him during such a crucial moment, comfort him, tell him she's going to be okay, be that pillar he can lean on just the way he's been mine during the past months. Holding my ground, I cross my arms and state firmly "I'm dropping Kelly at Rosalee and Monroe's place. You can leave first; I'm joining you shortly after"

Nick hesitates briefly then nods and disappears in the elevator

Alright, I need to calm down and thing straight. I grab baby bottles I fixed earlier from the fridge and place them in Kelly's baby bag, in addition to diapers, wipes, baby powder and other necessities. I lift my baby from his crib and head to the door, texting Rose quickly before starting the car.

Promising Rose and Monroe to call them as soon as I have any news, I kiss Kelly goodbye and speed in the highway to the hospital. Once I arrive to St John's and ask the receptionist after Theresa Burkhadt, she says nobody under this name was admitted during the past 24 hours.

"You have to check again, there has to be a mistake" I insist with a now annoyed receptionist, suddenly a commotion coming from one of the halls gets my attention. A familiar voice is shouting. Ignoring the receptionist's protest, I scurry to Nick's side.

"She's my fucking sister" he shouts at two behemoths in black suits standing by a room door. If not for the seriousness of the situation, it would be comical. The guys look like wrestlers squeezed in tight suits from the man in black.

"We told you, Sir" says the shorter and bulkier one, with a bold head "Nobody's allowed inside this room"

Nick is about to snap at him when I brush his arm with my hand in a reassuring gesture. Nick jolts in surprise then a flicker of relief crosses his eyes "Hey, let's sit down a little, they will let you in eventually"

Nick starts to protest but I convince him that Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dom over there are not giving up anytime soon. Reluctantly, he sits in the waiting room as I go grab the both of us coffees from the vending machine. Holding the foam cups in my hands, I join Nick and hand him his while I take a small sip from mine. Nick's body is rigid. He's bending forward, elbows resting on his knees, while his shoulders go stiff. Just as I'm about to sit beside him a familiar voice calls my name. Nick glances behind my back warily as I swirl around.

My eyes scan first the tall, large body standing before my eyes, hard muscles obvious under his outfit, my eyes travel slowly to his face, buried under a blond beard. Despite the harshness of his features, he is breathtakingly handsome "Meisner!" I exclaim in undisguised surprise, his face breaks in one of those rare smiles I believe to be the only one gratified with. Without thinking, I run to him and take him in a hug. It's been so long since I last saw him, and seeing him now brings to the surface the friendly affection I've nourished for him during the past years. His arms circle my shoulders tightly. Nick clears his throat behind me, making me take a step back only to realize he's standing right behind me, with his arms folded on his chest and his eyes drilling holes in Martin's face. To my horror, Meisner has the exact same look on his face and I see a muscle twitch on his face.

Both men engage in a sort of stare down contest that makes me cringe.

Children, I roll my eyes

"This is my friend, Martin Meisner" I break the awkward silence in an attempt to put an end to that ridiculous tension "Martin, this is Nick Burkhardt…errr…mmm…he…" I have no idea how to introduce him. As my baby's father? The man I live with? Guess I could even add that we sleep on the same bed "His sister was admitted here" I blurt out, at loss of any better thing to say.

Nick's face is flabbergast and he sends me a death glare before turning his attention back to Meisner. I decide not to read too much into it, because now is not the moment.

Meisner extends his hand and Nick shakes it reluctantly. From the strained looks on their faces, I bet the both squeezed a tad bit too tightly.

"Burkhardt, huh! You're Trouble's brother" Meisner exclaims

"Trouble!" I'm surprised anyone other than Nick would use her nickname

Meisner smiles faintly, seeming to have an internal joke "Well, if you don't want to be ignored, you'd better call her that"

Nick interjects, clearly out of patience "How do you know my sister?"

Still holding his stare, Meinser answers in an equal cool voice "She works in my team" he glances quickly at me, then his cold eyes settle back on Nick "Look, I know you're worried, but Trouble is fine now"

"What happened?" Nick demands through greeted teeth, taking shallow breaths

Meisner sighs in resignation "Long story short, she blew her cover during her mission"

Nick groans and walks past us, not failing to bump Meinser's shoulder in the process. When he makes it to his sister's hospital room, Meisner nods at the agents standing by the door who clear the way to let Nick in.

"I should…" I leave my sentence hanging in the air

His gaze softens when he looks at me again "Yeah, I was going in there too"

When we enter the room, I'm shocked to see Theresa's motionless body on the bed. She's got bruises and cuts on her face and the visible part of her arms, under her hospital gown. She's got a serum infusion on one arm and a blood transfusion on the other. The steady bips of the machine beside her indicates that her heart is steady.

Nick reaches for a strand of her raven silky hair and tucks it away from her beautiful face. She looks so young when sleeping. Nick runs a hand in his hair and sighs heavily. He looks so much in pain, so wrecked and tortured. I can only imagine all the bad memories that must have resurfaced the second he stepped in the hospital.

The very hospital his mother died at.

Instinctively, I take a step towards him and hold his hand in mine, without looking away from his sister's limp body, his squeezes my hand in his.

"She's sedated" Meisner informs us, eyes traveling from our intertwined hands to Nick's face "She needs rest but her condition is steady"

As Meisner starts to leave, I excuse myself from Nick and rush behind my friend who's walking purposefully towards the exit.

"Meisner, wait"

He turns around in surprise "What is it, Adalind?"

I chew on my lower lip, summoning the strength to ask the question that's been nagging at me from the moment I knew Theresa was in the hospital. Albeit dreading the answer, I still want to know it.

I stutter on my words a few times before finally asking "Was…was it Black Claw?"

Meisner's usually expressionless face looks pained for a second "Adalind"

"Please" I beg with pleading eyes "I need to know, Martin"

He sighs and I know the answer

A striking pain envelopes my whole body, my heart contracts and I feel my lower lip quivering. I don't realize that tears are sliding down my face until Meisner rushes to me and takes me in an embrace.

"Calm down, Adalind…Hey, it's not your fault" his deep voice a complete contrast with his reassuring words.

I jump to the sound of Nick's uncharacteristically cool voice "Sorry to interrupt" I turn around and I'm instantly hit by the look of pure fury on his face "I'm heading home, thought you'd want to know" with that, he heads to the exit without waiting for an answer.

I wipe my tears and stare blankly at his retreating back

"I really don't know what's wrong with him. He's taking all his frustrating on us, I guess" I shrug

Martin shakes his head, staring at the exit as well "I don't think that's his problem"

I don't question Martin on his affirmation, instead I say my goodbyes and head to my car. To my relief Nick hasn't left yet, actually he's leaning against the passenger door and the moment our eyes meet, he opens it and gestures for me to get in "We'll get your car tomorrow"

The ride home is silent. I don't feel like speaking to him. He's been particularly rude tonight and the only reason I'm letting it pass is because I'm blaming it on his preoccupation for Theresa. But when we arrive to the loft, he's still on edge.

He drops his keys loudly on the kitchen counter

"Look" I start, unable to take it anymore "I understand your frustration right now. Seeing Theresa on that hospital bed is heartbreaking…"

"Didn't seem like it" he cuts me off with so much bite

"What's wrong with you?" I snap, grateful Kelly is spending the night at Rosalee's, or else our loud voices would have shaken him awake.

He stalks toward me again, eyes red with anger and lips thinning "Me? nothing. How about you? I take it you're angry because I interrupted your intimate moment with your boyfriend"

"My what?" he can't be serious! If I didn't know better, I'd think he's jealous, but that's impossible, right? "He's not my boyfriend" not that he deserves any explanation.

"Sure" he says dismissively as he starts pacing nervously "For all I care, you can be with whoever you want, whenever you want, as long as it doesn't affect my son in the process…Because after all, it's all you are" he glares at me pointedly "My son's mother"

My heart leaps and my eyes moist

Nick's horrified expression tells me he's understood the impact of his words

"Adalind" he calls in a soft voice, but it's too late. The damage is already done. I run to the bathroom, because it's the only room with locks and enclose myself inside. Nick pounds on the door "Adalind, please, open the door. I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything I said…Please, Adalind" he begs on and on but I can't look at him right now, I don't want to hear his explanation. I sit on the floor against the bathroom door and bring my knees to my chest, chewing at my lip to stop it from quivering.

I'm just his baby's mother. Why does it hurt so much? Few months ago, this seemed pretty accurate, so why it's not anymore? Why do I care so much for what he thinks of me? why does it matter that he regards as more than that? It shouldn't. It mustn't. I still have control over my feelings, I repeat in my head over and over wishing for the words to sink in.

"Adalind, please" his voice is barely a whisper now "You are…Oh God, I'm so sorry…Seeing my sister like that made me lose it, I know it's no excuse but I swear I didn't mean a single word…You're not just my baby's mother Adalind…You're…you're my friend…This person that manages to make me smile when all I want is to crawl in bed. This person who claims she's an awful cook but always makes sure there's a hot meal waiting for me when I come from work, the person who rushes to my side at the mere sign of distress for my part, this woman who keeps her head high despite all the pain she's going through..."

He goes on and on and the icicle around my heart cracks. He seems genuinely surprised as I open the door, finding him sitting on the floor against the door, the same way I was earlier. He jumps to his feet, his expression hopeful and filled with regret.

"Adalind" he breathes

"I don't owe you any explanation" I try to keep my cool and not surrender to those puppy eyes he's displaying now "But, I wasn't enjoying myself with Meisner while you were worried sick about your sister"

Nick nods vigorously, muttering "I know"

"He was simply comforting me because I was upset" I add

Out of the blue, Nick brings me to his chest and holds me tightly. Being held tightly against his rock hard chest feels nothing like being in Martin's arms. With Nick's arms around me, my heart flutters, a nest of butterflies settles in my stomach and I feel dizzy and drunk in his wonderful smell.

I could stay like this forever. I briefly close my eyes and relish in the moment

"I'm sorry" he whispers against my hair

Slowly, I envelope him in a hug of my own "It's fine"

%%%

Nick and I go to Rosalee and Monroe's house to get Kelly, I can't believe how much I missed my son. I hold him tightly in my chest, but after few seconds only Nick tells me it's his turn to hold his son.

We go then to the hospital to get my car. Nick asks me if I can get a bed ready for Theresa because he wants to bring her home today. I hurry to the loft, grateful Rosalee took care of Kelly's bath and food. I place him in his crib and let him play with his toys while I get the bed that was supposed to be Nick's when we first moved here ready. Fresh sheets, soft pillows, a pair of pajamas just in case.

Back to my bedroom, I start to organize Kelly's baby bag only to run into the folded paper Henrietta had given me.

 _Diana's nanny takes her to Laurelhurst Park every Sunday afternoon_

 _The Nanny and the bodyguard have an affair and they always take_

 _Some time off from watching Diana when she's playing with Ducks at the pond_

 _Their break doesn't last more than ten minutes_

Sunday is two days from now only. I need to think of a plan. I need to act fast


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I'm deeply sorry for taking so long to update. I became this lazy person after my holidays but I promise to update sooner from now on. Let's take a minute and pray for my muse to show up more often.**

 **I can never thank you enough for the fantastic reviews. You rock**

 **Desculpe pelo atraso y muito obrigada pelos maravilhosos comentarios**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 18 : Consequences

Theresa has been asleep for the past twelve hours. The doctors warned us that the sedative might take some time to leave her system. I was afraid Kelly's cries in the middle of the night might frighten her and disturb her sleep, but she seems to be completely oblivious to the external world.

Nick checks on her every half an hour. Despite his relief for having her here with us safe and sound, I can tell he's still stressed out. We both know perfectly well none of us is out of danger; the war against Black Claw is not over yet. I decide to store this painful reminder in the back of my head, while I help Nick clean the baby and change his diaper in the bathroom.

"I'll go get him fresh clothes" I inform him as I head toward the bedroom. I try to make as little noise as I can, but Theresa wakes up this time to Kelly's shriek. She stands abruptly from the bed, completely disoriented and scared…A look I didn't think I'd ever see on her beautiful face.

Making sure to keep a safe distance between us until she goes back to her senses, I speak in a soothing voice "Hey, it's fine, you've been asleep for the past twelve hours" she lifts her eyebrows in surprise while she tries to clear her throat which I am sure is pretty dry. I pour some water in a glass and hand it to her as I sit beside her on the bed.

Theresa nods a thank you and swallows big gulps of water, grateful for the hydration

I proceed to explain what happened (what little I know) and how she ended up here "…and this noise you hear is your nephew making a fuss" I joke and I'm rewarded with a tentative smile from Theresa.

"He…where is he?" she asks warily

I nod toward the bathroom "With his father" I start to stand up "Which reminds me that these two men are waiting for me. Nick will be here in a sec"

Making my way to the bathroom, I inform Nick that his sister is awake and insist he joins her while I finish changing the baby. When I leave the bathroom, I find the Burkhardt siblings in the kitchen, deep in conversation. Theresa is devouring leftovers, while Nick stares at her questioningly.

After placing the baby in his crib, I join Nick and Theresa in the kitchen catching up quickly with the conversation.

"…They were following me this whole time…BC men" she casts a glance my way before continuing, my heart contracts at the mention of this evil organization that striped from my freedom and my family "I didn't blow my cover, Nick" she pleads with her eyes "They knew who I was from the start. I thought I was the huntsman, but I was always the prey" I hear a crack in her voice as she stares at her hands.

"Hey" Nick lifts his sister's chin "You are ok now, nobody is going to hurt you"

She shakes her head adamantly "You don't get it Nick, they were going to end my life there and then if not for this other agent who almost blew his cover to save my life…Jeez…I failed my mission and put someone else's life in danger. I wouldn't be surprised if Meisner kicked me out of his team…I mean Kenneth must have mentioned the debacle in his report…"

My brain refused to process the rest as soon as I heard the name of the agent. Are we thinking of the same Kenneth? It's not a very common name and it can't be a coincidence that they both are connected to BC. Is it possible that Kenneth is an undercover FBI agent?

"Kenneth Goderich" I blurt out not giving a darn that I cut her midsentence

Theresa seems genuinely surprised as she glares at me wide eyed "You know Agent Kenneth?"

The floor under me is unsteady all of a sudden. So, it's him

"Yeah….He's Sean's cousin and one of the closest men to BC's top management" I clarify. I met him few times during family gatherings and I always got the feeling he didn't like Sean very much. I thought it was just rivalry or jealousy, but now that I know he was always an agent, the hatred in his eyes makes more sense. What BC did was always against his principles. Such a big revelation.

"Yeah, I forgot your connection to Renard" she has this far away look to her eyes, like when remembering something long forgotten "He's a double agent…At least he was before I almost ruined his cover"

Nick interrupts her silence heavy with guilt "Tell me more about this special cell of the FBI you work for" he orders

Theresa's face lightens up immediately with excitement "It's called HW, it stands for Hadrian's wall. We have cells all over the world in collaboration with the different governments. It's an international organization created secretly by the country members of the UN SC" seeing our furrowed brows, Theresa proceeds to explain "Imagine all big nations creating this sort of Interpol cell to fight transnational crimes. Of course HW doesn't work only on dismantling BC, they have plenty of other cases they treat, but I'm part of this group in charge exclusively of bringing down these son-of-a-bitch"

"Theresa" Nick scolds

"Sorry" she apologizes with an eye roll discrediting the earnestness of her apology

"I think you should go back to sleep" Nick suggests noticing her tortured expression when she adjusted herself on the chair. His sister complies immediately, eyes still heavy with fatigue.

So much information for just one night; my head feels like it's about to implode. Kenneth works for the FBI? The whole world is working on bringing down BC? Theresa is targeting people who are targeting her in return?

Noticing my discomfort, Nick scrutinizes my face as we settle in bed "You ok?"

I nod unconvincingly "Yeah, just a lot to absorb for just one night"

He gives me a lopsided smile that makes me forget all my worries "Hey, you'll be fine, you have two awesome Burkhardts on your team" he winks adorably "It's a recipe for success"

His confidence and playfulness make me laugh wholeheartedly, lifting some of the worries weighing on my shoulders "Right. Good night, Nick" I say as I snuggle closer, inhaling his marvelous perfume.

"Night, Adalind" he whispers softly

%%%

"I'll be gone for only a couple of hours, you'll be fine" I reassure Theresa for the umpteenth time as I place baby bottles in the fridge and stick a list of instructions on its door. She's freaking out since I asked her to keep an eye on Kelly for me. It's already Sunday, and I'm not delaying my encounter with my daughter any longer.

The excitement and anticipation kept me up all night, I have no plan whatsoever; all I want is to see her again, take her in my arms, breathe in her smell, kiss her forehead and tell her how much I love her. I need just few minutes of bliss, to relieve some of this permanent agony I've become way too acquainted with.

Is it too good to be true? Is something bad going to come out of it? Maybe I should have told Meisner or at least Nick, but both would have dissuaded me from going there. It's my only chance to see Diana again, it might be a stupid idea, but for my kids I'll risk it all. They are my everything, the air I breathe, the water I drink, the only people who bring meaning to my existence.

"What if I snap his neck inadvertently?" Theresa holds Kelly as far away from her as possible, making a grimace of distaste "I'm not good with kids"

"I left a series of instructions on that list, all you have to do is go through them. I listed all possibilities and left Rosalee's number in case of emergency" I couldn't leave Kelly with Rose because she has her doctor's appointment today. Still trying to conceive a baby. I wish it worked this time.

I kiss Kelly goodbye and head for the elevator, I know my baby is in good hands, Theresa might say she doesn't like babies, but I saw the way she stares at her nephew when she thinks nobody's watching. She'd hurt herself before anything bad happened to him.

The drive to Laurelhurst Park is not that long. On my way there I play the different scenarios of my encounter with Diana in my head. Will she recognize me? It's been so long since she last saw me. What if she rejects me because Sean brainwashed her? So many questions that will only be answered once I see my daughter; my baby daughter.

However, a very unpleasant surprise meets me halfway to the park; someone I hoped I'd never see again and especially today of all days. Juliette, Nick's ex blocks my path as soon as she spots me. Jeez, I shouldn't have parked near the Vet Clinique where she works to go to the park. In my frenzy, I forgot she worked in the area. Let's be honest here, she's the last person that comes to my mind in my list of priority threats to think of.

"Hey, I'm talking to you" she snaps as I accelerate my race to the park. I can't be delayed any longer. I left the house ahead of time but I'm not taking any chances. Unfazed by my determination to ignore her, she mimics my pace and follows me to the park. I start scanning my surroundings, looking desperately for my daughter in the crowded park, but Juliette grabs my arm rather violently "Listen to me when I'm talking to you"

I jerk away "Not now, Juliette" I state firmly "I promise to stop by when I'm done"

"Of course" she gives an ugly laughter

She keeps babbling and accusing me of stealing her man from her, but my attention was long focused on someone else. My heart gallops the instant my eyes land on platinum blond hair. Diana. I have no doubt it's my girl. I could recognize her among a million other girls. I take a step forward as my lower lip starts to quiver. Finally, I've waited for this moment for so long. I try to put one shaky leg before the other. My arms are itching from the need to hold her against my chest.

"Hey, where do you think you are going?" Juliette stops me

Irritation and annoyance replace my initial excitement, I stare at her sharply "Juliette, leave me alone" I turn my attention back on my daughter but it was the wrong thing to do, because Juliette follows my gaze and seems to guess what I'm about to do.

The understanding and the cruelty in her eyes should have warned me, but a mother can't see clearly when it comes to her children "Oh, I see" she gives me a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. All my senses tell me to call it off, to go back to my car and come back another Sunday, but my heart refuses to listen.

"Juliette, please" I plead, praying she'd empathize and let me go. As soon as she nods, I run to my daughter. She's at the pond, just like Henrietta said, and her Nanny is so engrossed in what looks like an argument with a behemoth that I'm sure she won't notice me before long.

The trepidation in my heart could only be described as tachycardia as I make my way toward Diana. The instant I reach her, I cry her name as I bend at her level. My daughter turns slowly and jumps in my arms shouting repeatedly "Mom, mom, mom" I caress her head unable to keep the tears anymore.

"Oh my baby, I'm right here, but I don't have much time" I choke on my words, hurting too much because I know the temporary joy will soon come to an end. I hug her tightly and kiss her cheeks tasting the salt of my tears in my mouth. I only have few minutes with her before the real world catches up with us but this time there is hope…Hope that I see her again next week, and the week after that and so on.

However, I'm Adalind Schade and the real world always catches up with me sooner than I would want it to.

"Is it her?" a cold male voice asks behind me followed by the confirmation of a familiar voice. The blood in my veins turns ice cold as I feel a hand on my shoulder. The world spins around me within the blink of an eye "Madam, would you please follow us" I turn around to see a police officer standing in front of me while a second one is beside a satisfied Juliette, who's wearing now the cruelest smile I've ever seen in my life.

Understanding strikes me at the same time as a sentiment of betrayal and deep pain.

Within a second the nanny scurries to calm a now crying Diana "Mom, please don't go"

I stare pleadingly at the policeman who nods once, allowing me to say a proper goodbye to my daughter "Don't worry, baby, I'll be back soon" I give her a tight hug before following the policemen, trying desperately to ignore the gathering of curious eyes around us.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I feel terrible for making you wait this long. I promised to update sooner and I didn't keep my promise. Please forgive me for that. Hope you'll enjoy this chapter and thank you all for supporting me and always posting encouraging reviews.**

 **Love,**

 **Shino87**

Chapter 19 :

They say the impact of your actions only hits you after it's too late I agree

The implications and the consequences of what I did today are making their way in my mind only now as I march toward a police car, escorted by two agents and glared at by tens of curious eyes. "What was she possibly going to do?" "Who is she?" "She has no shame" I hear the continuous whispers as I pass them one by one, but they're all swallowed by the heart wrenching cries of a little girl trying to break free from the arms restraining her.

"Mommy….Mommy….Please, let her go" my daughter's screams resonate in never stopping pleas. I cast one last look behind my back, seeing the pool of tears that mirror my own on her face. I give her one last smile before I'm embarked on my way to hell.

The waters fill slowly the box I closed myself in with every step that separates me from my daughter and every mile that brings me closer to facing the result of my actions, until I'm submerged with water and breathing proves more and more difficult. When we reach Portland Police precint, my legs become suddenly numb and I can barely put one leg before the other to walk inside. Police officers are walking in and out, I try to look away, too afraid to face familiar faces, but in vain. Because the moment I pass him by, even with my head bent down, officer Wu recognizes me.

"Miss Schade" He says in a stunned voice as he stops me on my tracks, he then glares at the officers escorting me waiting for an explanation, which the tall bold guy on my right gladly provides him with.

Once he's done, Wu stares at me with a mix of sadness and anger, with a heavy sigh he nods at the officers "Take her deposition and notify me when you are done" before we leave, he gives me a reassuring smile.

I proceed to reply to the most stupid questions known to mankind, one would think that being a lawyer and especially since I've worked in the DA's office, I should find depositions more interesting, but trust me, they're not. It's only when I'm left alone in that dark, windowless room, that I'm forced to stay alone with somber thoughts.

This debacle might encourage Sean to flee the country and I won't see my daughter ever again. The pain and hurt transform into anger and a need for revenge as I remember Juliette's involvement in what happened and the smirk on her face as I was escorted away. Every ounce of pain is duplicated with pure fury.

I won't have rest till I make her pay, I promise myself

Nick's eruption in the room puts on hold my plotting of revenge. The determined steps he takes in my direction, the red ridges around his eyes and the flaring nostrils tell me he's not happy with me either. Well, guess what Nick; that makes two of us.

He slams the door and stalks in the room back and forth, not saying a word and neither am I. Honestly, what could I say? I'm as guilty as one can be, so why bother with an "I'm sorry" or "It's not what it looks like".

When he finally calms down, his jade eyes glare at me rather unhappily. I brace myself for what's to come, ready to defend myself as fiercely as a mother who simply wanted to hold her long lost daughter in her arms.

"I don't regret it and I'm not apologizing if it's what you expect" I cross my arms on my chest fighting the need to snuggle in his arms instead, in desperate need of a physical comfort of some kind.

Nick chews on the inside of his cheek and nods "I can't say I'm surprised you don't feel remorseful" his voice then drops a notch and his eyes soften "I've read the report…Juliette is behind the police intervention?"

I nod, feeling the acidic taste of her name burning my tongue

Nick rubs his forehead as if nursing a head ache, with a heavy sigh, he takes the seat across from me and intertwine his fingers on the table "Tell me what's not on the report?"

I stare at him quizzically

"How did you know where to find Diana? Clearly there was a leak" he seems out of patience

"I can't" I shake my head thinking of Henrietta and how much damage I've already caused her.

Nick holds my stare, unfazed by my refusal to cooperate "Listen Adalind, I'm your ally, not your enemy. I'm on your side and I'm asking you as your…" he seems to consider his words, trying to pick the right one "as your friend and not as a detective" he reaches from across the table for the hand that's rubbing aggressively my forearm and takes it in his, only once I see the red patch on my skin do I feel the pain caused by my erratic scratching "Tell me" the order and the tantalizing softness of his voice are a complete paradox.

Bringing my eyes to his, I discover the sincerity and worry he's been carrying since he entered this room. In all the people I thought I'd hurt with my careless actions, Nick was probably the last one I thought of…yet, with what we share he should come first…I'm still struggling with this new life with him and the meaning of my accelerating heartbeats in his presence.

 _Friends,_ it's the term he used to label our relationship…I think I like the sound of it, it's not the first time he said it but reiterating proves he means it…Yes, Nick proved to be the best friend one could have. He was there at my lowest and helped raise a child I didn't even plan to tell him about. He proved to be a kind man and a fantastic father. He surprises me everyday with his big heart and beautiful soul.

I take a big gulp of air and start tentatively, stumbling on my words "Her…Her name is Henrietta James…she's Sean's oldest friend and…lover" I say the last word with surprising detachment. When exactly did I stop to care? Had I ever cared about Sean's cheating? I think that my ego took a hit when I first discovered it during the first year of our marriage, but I had already started to resent him for his maleficent schemes and black soul. My infatuation and pseudo love gave place to hatred and disgust combined with occasional fear; fear that he might hurt me someday; fear that he might take away my daughter from me; fear me that he might break me forever, little did I know that those weren't fears but rather predictions.

Nick's gentle pull on my hand brings me back to the present, my eyes travel immediately to his beautiful leafy irises. Gosh, I love those eyes, they convey so much purity and strength, like he could take down whatever threatens his people. I never felt safer than in his company, somewhat in a short period of time, he calmed down so many of my worries. I know that my son could never be fathered by a better man.

"She's been providing me with bits of news related to Diana all this time. She was sort of my intel…"

Nick purses his lips disapprovingly "You put yourself in danger, Adalind…It could have ended bad"

"I know" I bite my lip, taking my hand back and keeping it on my lap. I experience a sentiment of emptiness the moment I lose the physical contact, but it's my way of not getting too attached, too used to this affection.

 _It's too late not to get attached, Adalind,_ my internal voice reminds me

Nick sighs heavily and starts to stand from his chair, my eyes follow the moment "He's not pressing charges, but…he's asked for a restraining order"

I wait for the pang; for the surprise; for the heartbreak to hit me, but it never comes, it's like my feelings are numb and you know why? Because it's not like I'll see any difference. Since Sean bribed the judges to have Diana's full custody, I haven't seen much of her. So what's a restraining order going to change?

This man has made his purpose in life ruining mine, making me either his or no-one's and in both cases ensuring my misery.

But I am Adalind Schade, I never give up on the ones that I love

Nick holds the door open for me "Come-on, let me take you home, it's been a tough day for you. I'll ask Wu to get your car later"

I nod and follow Nick outside

As soon as Nick and I walk into the loft, I'm taken in a tight grip that leaves me breathless. The smell of lilacs and spices caressing my nostrils calms me down immediately. Rosalee; my friend; my sister. I smile and embrace her too.

"Oh, Adalind, Monroe and I were so worried" she groans

"I'm sorry" I apologize shyly, then look around me. Monroe, Rosalee, Nick, Theresa and Even Meisner are all reunited in the loft staring anxiously at me, showing preoccupation and relief at seeing me. I went from a lonely life consisting of working only and crying the loss of a daughter, to a life filled with joy that I share with so many people.

Monroe clears his throat "I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving" he stares lovingly at his wife "Rosalee made us her delicious pumpkin pie"

Rosalee smiles tenderly at Monroe before turning her attention on us "Yes, Monroe and Meisner finished setting the table just as you walked in"

"You did?" I can't hide the bewilderment lacing my voice. I could never fathom Martin doing any house chores. He's so rough and …well, I guess I simply never imagined Meisner in a household. Now that I think of it, I don't know much about his personal life. Is he married? Does he have a significant other? What are his hobbies?

"You bet he did" Theresa smirks "I'll get you an apron for your birthday, old man. What are you going to turn? A hundred and thirty?" she teases him with a big smile plastered on her face. She's even more beautiful when she smiles. I'm actually taken aback by this beauty she seems so oblivious to and so keen to hide behind her boyish attitude.

Martin glares at her with a barely hidden amusement "Show your elders some respect and don't forget I'm your boss"

"Sorry dude, I'm off duty tonight" she counters

Nick walks to Kelly's crib and collects him in his arms while speaking to Monroe, I seize the opportunity to ask Rose about her doc appointment, eager to deflect the conversation from my sad adventure, after I shared all the details with my friends, including Juliette's involvement. Apparently, Theresa notified Meisner as soon as Nick informed her through the phone.

"I didn't go" Rosalee says after a brief hesitation "Theresa was having a hard time with Kelly, she called me in a complete panic, so I decided to reschedule my appointment"

Guilt eats at me as tears sting in my eyes, my best friend missed a very important appointment because of me "I'm so sorry Rose"

She strokes my arm "Nah, it's fine. I'm going next week" she smiles reassuringly

After our friends leave, I take Kelly to bed while nick takes a shower. Today's events were truly exhausting. I can barely keep my eyes open. I change into my pajamas and start to prepare the bed, when I notice my ringing phone.

My heart contracts at the sight of the number

"Hello love" Sean's fake sweetness makes me nauseous

"What do you want?" I clutch the phone harder than necessary

He laughs humorlessly "Where are your manners, dear?"

"Mixed with the ashes of your heart, Bastard"

His voice turns cold "Well, well, I would watch my language if I were you" he clears his throat, then continues on a condescending tone "I'm actually calling to make an offer"


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Dear readers, I'm very sorry for the very slow update. I went through a writing block faze due the loss of my grandmother. I was really touched by the messages of concern sent by some of you due to my long absence and also for all the messages urging me to update. Your enthusiasm is what makes me want to post updates as soon as possible.**

 **Love,**

 **Sarah**

Chapter 20 :

When Sean makes an offer it never means a win-win kind of deal. He always chooses what serves best his interests regardless of his counterpart's benefits and it's no different with me. He's just that selfish; first him, second him, third him, then you…if he cares enough. Don't be fooled by his claims of undying love; this man loves nobody but himself. I came to realize this too late unfortunately.

"…But, I have to make my offer in person" I can hear the smile in his voice "I'll call you later with more details...Oh and sweetie! If you care about that little detective of yours, you'd better keep this conversation to yourself"

I cuss under my breath as the line goes dead. Damn him. When is he going to finally leave me alone? Why making my life a wreck is a goal of his?

"Adalind, are you alright?" I feel Nick's gentle touch on my shoulder, only to realize that my whole body is shaking and my fists are clenched. He places the back of his hand on my forehead to check my temperature "You look pale" I lift slowly my eyes to his beautiful face and see his concerned expression. Is he truly worried about me? I don't know if I've ever had someone care about my well being. My own mom never showed me this much kindness.

My mom! She's left a ton of voice mails on my cell. I should call her back. Giving her the cold shoulder must come to an end, I guess.

Mustering a smile, I push Nick's hand gently away "I'm fine, don't worry"

A droplet of water falls from his wet hair and travels down his forehead then cheek to finally reach his chin. My eyes follow the movement all along, unable to look away. As if possessed, my hand flies to his chin and caresses the water drop away, lingering longer than needed. To my surprise, Nick rests his cheek on my hand, as if relinquishing in the softness of my palm.

"I'm sorry for today" Nick's troubled eyes break my heart. This man has been through hell because of me and he's the one apologizing for today's debacle. I want to kick him and tell him to yell at me and blame me for being an irresponsible person…But, this! Here! I have no idea how to respond to this man, he shatters my world in the most exquisite way and it scares me, because he's slowly breaking the bricks I spent years cementing around my heart "Juliette is only targeting you because of our history"

With my palm resting on his cheek, I bring my thumb to his lips and caress the softness of his mouth, missing how amazing it felt against mine "Shhhhh" I press my finger on his mouth "What Juliette did today was horrible, but her actions are her doing, not yours. Besides, if anybody must apologize for their recklessness, it should be me"

Nick bends his head and approaches me at a turtle's pace, engaging my heart in the fastest race this poor organ has ever seen. Beat beat beat beat

 _Please kiss me_

I repeat the words in my head, willing the world to make this small, insignificant wish come true. Instead, Nick simply connects his forehead to mine. Such a simple gesture, yet so intimate. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply, as if trying desperately to control himself. Could he possibly want more?

I know I do

Right now, in this man's embrace, with our foreheads being the extension of the other, I feel more connected to him, than I ever was to anybody else. How is that possible? How did I manage to nourish so much affection in the middle of adversity?

Kelly's cries break our special moment

"I get this" Nick smiles kindly at me "Go have some rest"

Nodding, I watch Nick retreat to our son's crib, biting my lip all along to stop myself from spilling out my conversation with Sean and ending up risking my… _friend?...my friend's_ life. Do friends kiss and enjoy it? Do their hearts race like Speedy Gonzales when they catch sight of one another? Do they breathe a sigh of content when they are in the other one's arms?

With a groan of frustration, I let myself fall on the bed, feeling the fatigue caused by today's events run down my body. A bath would definitely help, but even the bathroom only few meters away, seems too far for me to reach.

Moments alone are the worst, because it's the time when all your fears and anxiety rise up to the surface. What could Sean possibly want from me? I mean besides forcing me back to his side. This time, he seemed more determined, almost like he had an idea cooking in the oven. Whatever it is, it's not going to be in my favor.

%%%

"I think you should tell him" Rosalee states sternly the next day while we are both sitting in a park with baby Kelly between us. I caress lovingly my son's growing blond hair, darker than mine, but still lighter than his father's. He turns his beautiful eyes on me, reminding me of Nick's. This little guy is a perfect mixture of the both of us. If Nick had any doubts until now, they should definitely dissipate by a simple look at Kelly's face.

"I know" I sigh "But, you don't know Sean, he's ready to do anything to achieve his goals and he's not one to throw empty threats" the mere mention of his name makes the hair on the back of my neck stand. Rose probably senses my fear because she brushes my arm with her fingers to seep away my fears.

I smile sadly at my friend, fighting the urge to burry my face in her arms, seeking some kind of comfort "I only want to protect him, you know"

Rosalee nods, her eyes betraying her own concerns for us "I know" her eyes turn to the clear blue sky "What now?"

"I don't know yet. He's to call me anytime and drop the bomb"

My best friend closes her eyes, to hide whatever emotion she's experiencing at the moment "Call at least Meisner"

"Don't you think I already considered the possibility? But he'd inform Theresa and she's either force me to tell Nick or do it herself" I pondered the different possibilities a million times in my head and I'd still get no results. Sean's record could belong to an Angel. It's pitch perfect. The bureau might never be able to prove his involvement with BC. Even the phone he uses to call me is untraceable and his calls never last more than a few minutes.

My phone rings, putting our conversation on hold. I check the caller ID, then press ignore. Rosalee purses her lips disapprovingly "Are you going to pick that, someday?"

"When I'm ready" I reply coolly, pushing away any thoughts of the caller…My mother. Being a mother for the second time made me realize what a terrible parent Catherine Schade is. She's never given me affection or showed kindness of heart. Always expecting more from me, making me feel like I'm nothing but a failure…A mistake she didn't mean to make. But I thing that her siding with Sean over Nick was probably the worst thing she's ever done, although at the time I wasn't nearly as close to my son's father as I am now, but comparing a heartless criminal to a man who serves the law and assumed his responsibilities toward us in the blink of an eye is unconceivable.

"You'll never be ready, Addy, so stop delaying an unavoidable conversation"

Rosalee is right, but it's easier said than done

It's only after I say goodbye to Rose and head back home that I find the courage to call my mom. She picks her phone after the third ring, just as I'm about to hang up. Her voice sounds breathless, anxious and…fearful! But, why?

"Hello, mother" I can't help the coldness in my voice. My heart is beating so fast that I can hear it drumming in my ears.

"Oh, how are you, sss…sweetie" the word sounds so foreign in her mouth that she stumbles on the S various times before finally managing to use an endearing with me. Could my mom possibly have regrets? That's so not the Catherine Schade I know. Something is highly suspicious in her endeavor, or is it just me?

"Adalind, I'd like to see you…let's meet somewhere"

After a brief hesitation, I decide to give her a chance. After all, she's my mom. I can't give her the silent treatment forever. We agree on meeting for dinner tonight. Nick proves very encouraging and understanding when I tell him about my plans with my mom.

"Take your time with her, you need to sort few things out I suppose. Kelly and I will have some father son time" he wiggles the baby in his arms "Right, buddy?"

Kelly yawns making us both laugh

I rummage through my closet looking for the perfect outfit, when Nick knocks on the bedroom door. Seeing the amused expression on his face, I see the mess I made. Clothes cover every inch of the bed and partially the floor.

"I promise to get it cleaned before I leave" I say apologetically

Nick shakes his head "Nah, I'll take care of it. We can't have you arrive late to your appointment" he lays against the door frame and folds his arms over his chest with a sexy smile creeping his yummy lips…Did I just say yummy? Ok, never mind "Adalind, it's the fourth dress you tried during the past thirty minutes"

"Really? I didn't realize it…sorry" I feel heat rising to my cheeks "It's just that…none of them looks good on me"

Nick walks towards me and lifts my chin so that our eyes meet "You look good in this dress" I bite my lip to stop the happy smile threatening to split my face into two pieces "And so did you in the previous three dresses…You are stressed out, I get it, but finding excuses to delay your meet up won't get you anywhere"

"I guess you're right. But, Catherine Schade is a….She's a tyrant of a mother" I confess

"Aren't they all?" he jokes, but his sad eyes tell me he's only trying to cheer me up, because his mother was nothing but a wonderful soul.

"You know what, you are absolutely right. Why do I have to look absolutely perfect just for her to approve of me? I don't care if she doesn't like my outfit and think or makes mean remarks" I state with resignation. Yes, so what? I grew up with this constant pressure and conviction that if I was good enough then my mom would finally love me, but truth is, she's the one with a problem…Not me.

Nick winks at me and heads back to the living room, probably unaware of the weight his intervention has just lifted from my shoulders. I wear my black stilettos, grab my clutch and kiss Kelly Goodbye. Probably still in my bubble of joy for becoming a big girl who can stand for herself, I reach for Nick and give him a hug. It's only after I move a way that I realize the awkwardness of the gesture. I mean, we've hugged before but it was done in specific circumstances. However, hugging him to say goodbye is so…domestic.

"Umm…I should…" I gesture to the door with my thumb

Nick seems equally uncomfortable "Yeah, have a good evening"

On the drive to the restaurant my mom picked, I play the different conversations I could possibly have with her, imagining myself telling her all the things I wished I had the courage to say during all my existence.

Once inside the fancy place, the major d'O escorts me to my mom's table. She's wearing a pale grey suit matched with a white silk shirt. Her hair kept in a perfect chignon and her face perfectly flawless. My mother could easily pass for a former model.

"Mother" I greet her, ready to sit, but to my surprise she walks to me and takes me in an awkward embrace that ends as soon as it started. She's really not herself tonight. Something is definitely off.

She takes a sip of red wine "So, how are you, dear? How is the baby and what's his name again? Nigel…No, Noel…?"

"Nick" I correct her "And he's doing fine and so is the baby" the waiter places our salads in front of us. Typical of my mother, ordering for the both of us without even asking me what I want. Bad habits die hard.

She nods with a forced smile that doesn't reach her eyes "So, are you still living together?"

Of course, she had to ask. I'm sure she's hoping I'd say No "Yes, we are" I plant a fork in my lettuce, needing to look away from her face…a remainder of years of bullying.

"Does he take good care of you?" she takes another sip of wine

I look straight into her eyes, knowing perfectly well the weight of my next words and how well she'll understand the meaning behind them "More than anybody ever did"

Clearly registering my words, my mother clears her throat before smiling unconvincingly at me "Good…good, I'm glad" she assesses me slowly then adds "You look pretty tonight"

Unable to take her strange behavior anymore, I blurt out the first question that pops in my mind "Are you dying?"

My mom chokes on her food, she quickly grabs a napkin and gently wipes her lips "Oh lord, No. Why would you ask such a thing" I see her composure waver for the first time in all evening. Good, that's the woman I know.

"You've been acting weird"

"Weird? Is the two of us not arguing that unusual?" just as I'm about to say Yes, she brings her hand up to stop me "I'm simply glad to see you are fine after all this time. Wouldn't you complement Diana when you see the beautiful little girl she's become, looking just like you, with the same long hair and piercing blue eyes" my mom has this absent look just like when you remember a long forgotten memory "Ah, she looks just like you when you were her age"

Instead of the usual pang in my heart at the mention of my daughter's name, it's an uneasy feeling that settles inside me "How do you know what she looks like?"

My mother's face pales "It…It was just a guess"

The suspicious feeling I have toward my mother follows me all through dinner and on the way home. It's only when I enter the living room where Nick and Kelly are playing that I push my uneasiness to the back of my head and join them.

Nick is laying on his back, holding Kelly up "Say daddy"

"Vzrhjkg" I guess that's Kelly's version of the word Daddy

"Say Mommy" Nick's enthusiasm doesn't diminish despite Kelly's refusal to speak human language.

I remove my shoes and go sit on the floor beside the most important men of my life, relinquishing in the much needed quality time with them.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Wish you all a happy new year, may all your wishes come true. So Grimm is back and so am I :D sorry for the long absence, I went through a writing hiatus, but hopefully it's over.**

 **Enjoy**

Chapter 21 :

 _Meet me at Rosinda's café tomorrow at noon_

I read Sean's text over and over again. It's been a few days since our last phone conversation; when he'd mentioned an offer right after he filed a restraining order against me, an order must I add that is not going to change anything given how he doesn't allow me to see my daughter much.

Bastard

With an uneven breath, I push Kelly's stroller inside the restaurant where my mom suggested we'd meet for lunch. She's been calling every day since our last encounter; asking after her grandson and even offering to look after him if I'm ever busy at work, but the most surprising thing of all was when she asked me about _the father_ as she put it. She seemed genuinely concerned about my well being, which is quite surprising given her absolute lack of empathy and maternal instinct.

My mother is sitting by the window, ocean blue eyes lost in the nothingness, a haunted expression on her face. Her immaculate appearance could easily pass her for some aristocrat with her platinum blond hair held in its usual perfect chignon, a barely there touch of makeup with a touch of lipstick that contracts perfectly with her pale complexion.

She is undeniably beautiful and it hits me to the guts whenever I see her. I remember as a little girl I thought she was a princess that stepped right out of a fairytale book. My mom despised the comparison and chastised me every time I brought it up.

She spots me and waves at me, her previous frown replaced immediately by a tentative smile "Hello, darling"

Nothing about her change of demeanor bodes well with me, she's definitely hiding something from me and I have yet to figure what it is. She seemed pretty serious when she said she wasn't dying. But then, is it possible that she regrets her past behavior and that she's changed for real? I push my suspiciousness to the back of my head as a wave of her strong perfume hits me as soon as she stands up and takes me in an awkward hug; you know, the kind of hug where you put as much distance as possible while still holding each other.

She bends down a little to watch Kelly in his stroller "So, you are Kelly!" her eyes twinkle as she looks at him "May I?" she leaves the question hanging, clearly fearful of my reaction. I shrug my shoulders and that's all the permission she needs to pick my baby in her arms. Kelly rewards her with a giant smile and reaches for her face, immediately pinching her cheeks with his small hands. My mother laughs wholeheartedly at that.

"He's one handsome boy" she chuckles "Look at those eyes!" her own eyes widen in enchantment, causing something to flutter inside me…something I can only describe as pride.

I clear my throat and speak for the first time since I got here "His father's eyes"

My mother gives me an embarrassed nod and then places the baby back in his stroller, Kelly starts to protest but he quickly goes back to playing with his toys and biting on them. He's teething so he developed this new tendency to either bite his fingers or any object he can.

"I'm glad you came, today" she starts, hands intertwined on the table, eyes shining with emotion. I'm really not sure how to tread with the beta version of my mom, instead I simply nod. The waiter takes our orders and comes back a few minutes later with my hot chocolate and my mother's tea.

"Your aunt Ilda says hello…I spoke to her a few days ago, she said she's coming to visit soon" she stares at Kelly then back at me "She's eager to meet this little one" she smiles sincerely.

"I'd love to see her. It's been way too long since I last saw her" My aunt Ilda is the complete opposite of her sister. Where my mom is stiff and severe, my aunt is easy going and flamboyant in the best possible way. She always wears bright colors and jingling bracelets. An easy smile constantly plastered on her face. while my mom was delighted with my marriage to Sean whom she described as charming; my aunt Ilda absolutely hated him from the very first time they met. Luckily, she never brought up the 'I told you so' reprimand after things went south.

Gosh! I miss her

"Tell me about your new life…and…this man"

"Nick" I say drily

"Nick" she nods with a smile, her eyes squinting my face, looking for anything it'd give away "Are you happy?"

The question takes me completely by surprise, but I recover in a split second as I think about my life, about Nick; how kind and caring he is, how safe he makes me feel, how loving he is with his son. A memory makes its way in my head; of Nick lying on his back on the floor, holding Kelly in his arms and begging him to say Momma and Daddy, my heart does a somersault and I feel a smile spreading across my face.

"I couldn't be happier" I say earnestly and my mother releases a sigh of relief

"Good…good" she repeats absently, reaching for my hand across the table "I was so worried about you after the restraining order Sean filed…"

I cut her midsentence, my whole body stiffening, feeling dizziness in my head "How do you know about it?"

"Huh?" she startles "What?"

"How do you know about the restraining order?" I articulate slowly, trying my best to keep calm.

My mom's body goes rigid and her face blanches, but her expression goes back to composed and normal so fast that I doubt my vision "You probably told me in one of our conversations" she scoffs, waving a hand dismissively "How else would I know?" she stares at me pointedly, making me feel stupid for doubting her.

"Right" I admit reluctantly

The rest of the day flies by quite fast, as I work from home on a new case Harrison sent me. I only stand from my chair to either feed Kelly, change him or make sure he's still asleep. When I'm finally done with work, I hurry to the kitchen to fix something for dinner before Nick is back. I opt for lasagna; Nick's favorite dish and start preparing it, humming happily in the process.

"Someone's in a good mood" I hear Nick's velvety voice behind my back

I feel a blush staining my cheeks, he heard me sing! Especially knowing that I have no musical ear, oh gosh! "I didn't realize you were here"

He gives me an easy smile, his beautiful eyes shining with mischief "What's this delicious smell?" he places his jacket on a stool and stops barely an inch away from my body as he checks behind my back to see the boiling tomato sauce, completely oblivious to the goose bumps rising in my body and my crazy heart running a marathon.

"It's…Errr…" I stutter, feeling so ridiculous right now, behaving just like a teenager in front of her crush. That's terrible! I'm crushing on the father of my baby, who probably only sees me as a pain in the arse.

Nick raises an eyebrow, entertained by my sudden inability to speak in anything other than onomatopoeia "Lasagna" he finishes for me so slowly that you'd think he's speaking to a lunatic.

"Yes" I say out of breath as I take a step away from him, needing physical distance to think properly. I look away from his way too sexy looks and concentrate instead on my cooking.

Nick lies against the kitchen counter, regarding me with a bemused expression "How was lunch with your mom?"

I sigh "Weird!"

He raises his eyebrows questioningly, urging me to continue "Well, she's been so different lately, she even asked me if I was happy" seeing Nick's blank expression, I explain indignantly "She never cared about my happiness, Nick"

The handsome man standing in front of me shakes his head "Aren't you exaggerating a bit?" he scolds

"I'm not, trust me" suddenly, all my childhood angst and pain over my mom's absence of affection rise to the surface, causing a sting in the back of my eyes, I hug myself in an attempt to stop the shiver in my body, Nick flinches then in one single stride brings me to his chest, his hand going up and down my back soothingly "Shhhh" his voice is like a hot chocolate in a snowy day "I'm sorry"

I let my cheek rest on his chest, getting drunk in the most exquisite smell; citrus, soap and pure Nick. I wish I could breathe him every time my past takes a toll on me. When I take a step back, our eyes lock. I open my mouth to say something, to break the awkward silence, but the movement makes his eyes travel instantly to my lips. His pupils get immediately darker, the green in them shying away. His stare is suddenly heavy with…lust? Is that possible?

He bends his head a little and inches closer, I feel the beating of my heart in my neck, I can hear my own breathing and my legs go spaghetti like at the prospect of kissing him…then the oven alarm goes off jolting us both to the real world and waking baby Kelly in the process.

"Shit!" Nick cusses under his breath looking anywhere but here

I hurry past him to the oven, hiding away my flushed face "I have to check the lasagna"

He brings his thumb and index finger to his temple, as if nursing a headache "Yeah, I…I'll go check on Kelly" with that he makes his way to the bedroom.

Nothing better than a crying baby and a blasting alarm to break the spell, I think drily.

When Nick emerges back from the baby duty, the table is already set and dinner is served. We take our usual seats opposite each other. I glance his way, completely shaken by the existence of such a gorgeous specimen. How could Psycho Juliet ever cheat on him? It's completely beyond me, because the man sitting across from me is beautiful inside out.

Nick catches me staring and I'm too transfixed to look away "Why are you frowning at me, Adalind?" a deep crease of concern forms between his eyebrows.

Am I?

Well, I don't think it's a good idea to remind him of his cheating ex, so I say the first thing that comes to my mind "The food is slightly burnt, but still comestible…I think" I look at him expectantly as he brings the fork to his –delicious- lips (Yeah, I know what they taste like and trust me they're nothing short from yummy).

He nods "It's good…I love lasagna, even if it's burnt"

"I know" I grin happily "It's all the reason why it's the third time we're having it in only two weeks"

He winks at me, delighted with the revelation that I was well aware of his likes and dislikes "Do you think we can make it four?"

I laugh at that, forgetting all about the awkwardness of the almost-kissing situation from earlier.

My stomach is twisted due to my nervousness as I arrive to Rosinda's café at 11:59 am. Every too seconds, my mind drifts back to my conversation with Nick this morning. Me lying to his face, pretending I had an important meeting at work in lieu of Sean. A feeling of deep guilt scratches my skin as I recall him stroking lightly my cheek "Hey, you look stressed. Don't worry, it's going to be fine" he kissed my forehead and left the loft, leaving me shattered behind him.

Rosalee wasn't happy either when I told her where I was headed after I stopped by to leave baby Kelly with her "This is a terrible idea, Addy" she scolded "He's a dangerous man, you should have told Nick"

She was absolutely right; last time I hid something from Nick and acted on impulse, it ended in a disaster. But, Sean threatened to kill him if I ever said a word, so in my own twisted way, I'm only protecting him.

An ice cold shiver runs down my spine as I hear the voice of my nightmares right behind me "Hello, love"


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N : I know…I know, it's been forever since I last updated and trust me, I'm sorry for that** **Both inspiration and time were on holydays for a while :( Hope you'll like this new chapter :D**

 **Love**

Chapter 22 :

Have I ever told you how I met Sean?

As if the world sensed a bad omen, it was heavily raining that day. Most roads were blocked due to the bad weather and finding a cab proved impossible as I stood outside the courtroom, in a drenched coat and dripping hair…Probably panda eyes as well, given how my mascara must have run down with Jupiter; the Deity of rain, pouring so much liquid on my head, maybe mistaking me for a tea cup.

 _Would you stop, now, you Moron?_ I scolded the dark grey sky as I hug my shivering body, as if responding to my demand, less than a minute later the rain stopped…or so I thought at first, only to realize that a very tall man was holding an umbrella above my head.

Romantic, right? Well, not so much, had I known the evil hiding behind that formidable physique, because yes, let's admit it, the first thing that attracted me in Sean was his sexiness.

Short curly raven hair, piercing blue eyes and a sexy smile that promised to burn the sheets. Oh! And the body that went with it? let me tell you it was magnificent, although in retrospect, I can't understand that pull. I was simply young and easily impressed and he knew how to impress. I wanted to be loved and he made me feel loved to a certain extent…until his love turned into a sick obsession and I discovered who he really was.

" _Hello, love?"_ he'd said that unfortunate day, just like now.

I'm brought back to the present, staring at those piercing blue eyes, he hasn't changed much, except for a few barely there wrinkles marking the passing time between us. He's smiling at me, but there's nothing but harshness in his eyes.

"So, what are we here for?" I go straight to the point, no need to dance around the bush.

He shakes his head with his unwavering smile hiding shark teeth for sure "My feisty Adalind! How I missed you"

Fighting the nausea that's gripping me, I look him straight in the eyes "I'm not yours, Sean and I never was"

He grips the edge of the table, his white knuckles the only indication of his fury "You'll always be mine, Adalind, until I decide to set you free"

Without a word, I start to stand. It was a bad idea coming here and meeting with this lunatic. What exactly did I expect? For him to bring Diana along and say _"Oh hey! After doing some thinking I thought I'd give her back to you?_

"Sit down, Adalind. I can give you what you want" he lies against his chair with the confidence of man who knows something monumental.

Still standing, I send him what I hope is a death glare "Oh! Really!"

"Sit"

"You don't get to tell me what to do" I fold my arms against my chest defiantly.

"Please" he adds, drumming his finger on the table.

With a sigh, I obey, much to my displeasure "Tell me"

Resting his elbows on the table, he inches closer, as if about to whisper a secret. He's closer than I can stand; I feel bile rising to my mouth as I smell his strong perfume. The same fragrance he always wears, that same once that made once upon a time my legs go wobbly.

"I need a favor and in exchange, you'll have the shared custody of Diana"

Images of me and my daughter parade in my head, feeding my imagination with the most beautiful emotions. My heart drums against my ribcage like crazy at the prospect of being with her again. But then, an alarm rings in the back of my head, reminding me of the first part of his statement.

"What kind of favor?" I narrow my eyes at him. Of course, Sean would always watch out for his interests first.

"Come back and live with me…I can give you a real house"

He barely has time to finish his sentence when I snap "No way!"

"Wait! Hear me out first"

"Nothing you'll say will convince me otherwise"

"Not even our daughter?" he raises an eyebrow, after a few seconds of silence, he continues "I want to run for mayor"

I puff a big laughter earning the stares of a few patrons, Sean ignores my reaction as he carries on "I need a wife by my side…I must give the image of stable man with a family"

"And you want me to play pretend!" I finish for him, incredulous at his audacity "News flash here" I snap my fingers in the air "I'm living with my son and his father"

Sean grits his teeth together "Yes, I hear he makes you happy and all, but I'm offering you more…"

"I don't need more, I already have all I want, the only thing missing in my life is Diana and unless you play it fair and let me see my daughter, I don't want to have anything to do with you and your never ending ambition"

Holding my clutch with more force than necessary, I rise from my chair and start to leave, imagining the steam coming from my ears.

"Just until I'm elected" Sean tries again "Then, you could see Diana all you want…think about it"

I ignore him and hurry to my car, unable to spend one more minute breathing the same oxygen as this despicable man. I'm fuming all the way to Rosalee's. Once there, I give her a recap of my conversation with Sean, not leaving out any detail. When I'm done, she shakes her head "this man stops at nothing"

Taking a sip of the hot chamomile she gave me to calm me down, I nod at her, but my eyes are lost in the nothingness. What if he manages to become mayor of Portland? He'd have even more power than he already has now. If he already makes my life a living hell, I can't imagine what it would be like if he's mayor of the city. Cold sweat drips from my forehead. I jump as I feel Rosalee's warm hand on my forearm "Hey, are you ok?" the crease between her eyes deepens when she's worried.

"I don't think so" I bite my lower lip to concentrate on the physical pain rather than the emotional one

"Are you going to tell Nick?"

My heart sinks as I recall how I lied to him this morning. I feel terrible for that. What if he hates me after I tell him the truth? Then again, it would be even worse if he discovered it on his own.

Errr…I'm going crazy!

"Well, I should get going, I have a ton of work to finish for Harrisson"

Rose lets me leave reluctantly, making me promise to call her first thing if anything happened.

On the way to the loft, I keep replaying my conversation with Sean, trying to put it under different angles, wondering what he'd do with so much power. Maybe it's part of a bigger scheme that BC planned. By the time I get home, my mind is running in a hundred different directions at the same time. If my brain was a hard drive, I'm sure it would be already fried.

It's good to be home, I tell Kelly as I place him in his crib

 _I can offer you a real home_

What did Sean mean by that?

I don't have time to analyze this when Nick emerges from the bathroom, in nothing but a towel. His glorious chest in full display for my greedy eyes. Everything about him is so virile and screams manhood. From his ripped chest to his strong muscular arms and incredibly sexy legs. I send the white towel covering his ass a murderous glare.

Nick clears his throat, sending a tremor of shame through my body

"Oh, hey! What are you doing home so early?" I try to ignore the heat that probably turned my face tomato red from being caught staring

"We caught a criminal hiding in an animal farm, things got messy, by the time we got him, I was covered in mud, thus the early shower" he smiles gesturing to his body inviting my eyes for a tour once more…wrong move, buddy! Wrong move. I miss physical contact…no, correction, I miss physical contact with Nick. Nobody affects me the way he does. It's like my body responds automatically when he's around. I don't recall feeling this way with anybody else.

"I'm not complaining" I reply quickly "I don't mean you being half naked…shit, it's not what I meant…I mean you coming…you coming home…"

Nick laughs wholeheartedly at my debacle "I know what you mean" he takes a few steps in my direction, his soapy smell caressing my nostrils, he stops barely an inch from my face, his eyes boring in mine and turning into dark slits "I was disappointed to find the place empty"

"Were you?" I breathe heavily

He presses his thumb on my lower lip and his eyes follow the movement hungrily, our breaths are labored "Very much and stop biting that poor lip"

"I had no idea I was…it's a nervous habit"

His eyes fly back to mine "What's making you nervous?"

"Rough day" I say honestly, transfixed by the dark shade of his eyes

"Want to tell me about it?" he looks worried and it breaks my heart

I shake my head, then gathering my courage; I stand on my tiptoes and place a delicate kiss on Nick's pillowy mouth. The moment our lips connect I feel a surge of electricity travel down my body, Nick seems to feel it too because he looks both surprised and aroused, very much to my delight. The kiss turns hungry and within a second Nick has me blocked against the wall with his body pressed exquisitely against mine. He's breathing hard and so am I, I can't help the moan that stirs my throat when he kisses my sensitive neck. All it would take to have him completely naked is a tug on his towel, but before my hands have time to wander, the doorbell rings, sending us both in alert.

Nick moves like a flash and checks the cameras, his eyes go wide immediately "It's a delivery man"

How is that even possible?

What if it's a trap? Nobody has this address except for our closest friends

He grabs a pair of jeans and a throws a shirt on his chest before he leaves "I'm coming with you" I state "It could be dangerous"

"All the reason why you should stay here with Kelly"

"No, I'm not leaving you alone" I stand my ground, clearly not going anywhere

To my utter surprise, Nick's face breaks into a genuine grin "You want to protect me?"

"I do" I admit simply, no matter how absurd it sounds

His eyes shine with pride and an emotion I don't want to give a name, but the spell is quickly broken when the delivery man rings again.

"Stay behind me" Nick instructs as he opens the door to a young man in his early twenties who looks nothing but bored;

"I have a delivery for Ms. Adalind Schade"


End file.
